- 7 years ago
I asked my future sister in law to be a bridesmaid. she said she wanted to help my Maid/Matron of Honor plan the shower, so I asked Maid/Matron of Honor to reach out to her. After the whole party agreed to a date, Future Sister-In-Law emailed Maid/Matron of Honor that her cousin (my fiance’s cousin) couldn’t make that date. Maid/Matron of Honor told me, and I agreed to switch the date. Unfortunately, one of the other BMs wasn’t available on the date Future Sister-In-Law requested to accommodate her cousin. I emailed the group to let them know there was a conflict with the date Future Sister-In-Law requested, and if everyone was still available on the original date. Future Sister-In-Law sent me an email that she and her cousin (and my fiance) are like brothers and sisters and she wouldn’t be comfortable to host a shower that she couldn’t make. She also threw in that my fiance agreed with her that the date should be changed to accommodate the cousin. Pretty bold, I thought!
My email wasn’t received well by my Future Sister-In-Law and she seems stuck on the fact that I won’t accommodate her family, even though I tried. I think it is unreasonable to ask me to not have one of my BMS at the shower b/c of her cousin’s vacation schedule. I also think it is unfair to tell my fiance and my other Future Sister-In-Law how upset she is that the cousin can’t come, and that she is a host and thought she’d have a say in the date and how would be invited. she is also mad a Maid/Matron of Honor (and me) for not communicating the news to her through a phone call, rather than an email.
My biggest concern is that my fiance, although he never asked me to switch the date, is so quick to defend his sister, rather than jumping right to my defense… telling me how close they are to cousin, that he’s disappointed she can’t come also, that he’s upset his sister is upset, etc. I wanted him to be upset that she even emailed me with such a request, and although he said he agreed I was right, he wouldn’t confront her about this. In fact, it almost sounded like he was apologizing to her when he talked to her. Do you think I have to be worried that it is always going to be like this when his sister doesn’t agree with me?