(Closed) FSIL (Help!!…kinda long but really need some advice plz)

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Stay out of it, don’t think about it and go about your business.  Either she will go or she will stay and everyone will eventually see the real problem and her true colors.


Be sure you don’t bad mouth her to your FIL’s.  That only makes you sound worse.

Post # 4
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Spend time with her! do you spend time with your Future In-Laws without your FI? Maybe you could initiate some ‘girl time’ with Future Mother-In-Law, Future Sister-In-Law and you!

I doubt she has a problem with you personally, she’s probably just reacting negatively because she doesn’t feel as accepted by the family and, like you said, is jealous.

So set out to show her that you’re not the bad guy by making friends. Bonus is that you get to have a new friend 🙂 maybe one who will be like your sister some day!

Post # 6
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

If they aren’t engaged, don’t worry about it.  It sounds like she’s jealous of your life, and you can’t change your life just to make her happy.  Continue to kill her with kindness and your Future Brother-In-Law too!  Eventually everyone will get tired of her (including the FBIL) and she’ll go away.  I’m sure once the wedding is over a lot of this will die down if she’s still around.

Post # 8
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Crazy Bee, I really understand how you’re feeling, I have written about this a lot on here too and have SUCH a similar situation to deal with. It’s the same facts, she was the girlfriend of my fiance’s brother, she acts jealous and crazy about the two of us, has never accused me of being the favorite, but I’m sure it’s just that I haven’t heard about it. This girl is significantly older than I am and this is her second marriage, which I know she is insecure about. She constantly talks to me like I’m a child (I’m almost 30), is condescending about the wedding decisions I make, and just is generally rude and intentionally tries to make me feel uncomfortable because she’s so unhappy with herself and insecure about her own life choices. She’s created a really competitive situation between us because she booked her wedding reception before she was engaged for the same day that my fiance and I had told her we wanted to get married and now they’re using the same officiant as us and staked claims on other vendors like bands. It’s just a horrible situation that you’re in and I really feel for you. I don’t ever know what to do about it either, I just feel like there’s no way out of it. Some people are selfish, insecure, and pathetic, and all we can do is not let it bother us. I just pretend like she doesn’t exist most of the time, it seems to work!

Post # 10
33 posts
  • Wedding: June 2011

You said you only see her on special occasions, therefore, she should be irrelevant to you. Be pleasant and polite every time you see her but don’t go out of your way to change the way she feels about you. Just focus on the people that want you there like your Fiance. Just ignore and put up with her nonesense for a while I am sure she will go away eventually and don’t let it get to you!

Paula Daley


Post # 11
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

In this case, I have to go with the fact she’s just a Girlfriend.  Be cordial but you don’t need to go out of your way.

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