FSIL Issues?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
6270 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i would just ignore her.  this is your wedding, you are going to do what you want.

 

Post # 5
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@orchidaloha:  I think you do need to say something, and say something quickly. This has to be stopped, or else it will escalate and possibly ruin part of your day. If you don’t feel comfortable, get your FI to tell her how things will be. You need to be firm and upfront and explain that she doesn’t have a say about x, y, and z and that you will let her know the details because you are the one planning it.

Ignoring this will not make it go away. Sounds like she wants to steal the spotlight.

Post # 7
Member
42453 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would answer “Thanks for your input, but FI and I have already made our decison about that”.

Use the same response everytime she communicates her disagreement about anything. Eventually she will get the message.

Post # 9
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@orchidaloha:  If you do like her, does that mean you two have a good relationship? If so, have a conversation with her. So often other people piss us off so much and they aren’t even aware. I think communication is key in any relationship. Just say, “while I am so glad that your kids could be included in our day, there are some things that we want to use to keep the focus on the meaning of the day of US.” Seriously. Nip it in the bud or else I can see you getting walked all over on your wedding of all days 🙁

Post # 11
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

It’s all nonsense except the rehearsal.  My daughters are 3 and 4 and just running over their duties would help them a lot.  I don’t think you need to shell out for a rehearsal, but perhaps offer to go over with them what they need to do and maybe show them the ceremony space?  If that’s a possibility, of course.   It’s not a big deal if not.  

The rest she’s just being silly. I’d just ignore her.

Post # 12
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@orchidaloha:  No, no, no, no. Women are so prone to doing this – stop taking other’s feelings into account before your own. It’s your day, so either she is going to end up upset or you are. Who is paying for it? Who is having the wedding? Imagine how she would have reacted if someone did this at her wedding (even bring that up to her – maybe she won’t get it until the tables are turned). There will be lots of time for events surrounding her kids, but YOUR wedding is not one of them.

I understand being polite and tactful, and I am not advocating being rude. I am advocating standing up for yourself and not suffering in silence 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@orchidaloha:  That’s crazy.  They just need someone to go over things with them, not have an “event”.  You could probably just go over it with them anywhere.  Or have someone talk them through it a few minutes beforehand.  

She sounds like maybe there is something else going on as nit picky as she’s being.

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