(Closed) FSIL planning wedding a month before mine

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Is my FSIL being inconsiderate
    Yes : (37 votes)
    33 %
    No : (76 votes)
    67 %
  • Post # 3
    873 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I really don’t think it’s a big deal unless you have many people coming in from out of town who will be inconvenienced by the two trips in 4 weeks. Other than that, one month would not close enough to be an issue for me.

    Post # 4
    3830 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Personally i would never plan my wedding that close to immediate family. Simply because it puts a lot of financial pressure on them as well as how time consuming it is. If i was her i would have chosen my wedding to be in September or October at the earliest. 

    Just my opinion. 

    Post # 5
    442 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I don’t see the issue here. “Take all the attention from my wedding” seems a little childish. Not to be rude but her wedding is just as important as yours and her parents anniversary is very significant date. It’s not like she is trying to ruin your wedding or something. My best friend got engaged after me and set her date for 2 weeks before mine and I’m fine with it. I really don’t think its a big deal. 

    Post # 6
    1330 posts
    Bumble bee

    Oh wow! Honestly, this could cause a lot of issues and I see why you are concerned! She has been with her bf longer but yes, this needs some serious chatting upfront.

    The two of you should get together asap and discuss shower, stags, etc…and I would offer up either you have a joint shower etc or your dates be moved farther apart. That is very close and tough on a family financially…unless your family is loaded, then hey, no worries, right? ๐Ÿ™‚


    I just hope this isn’t a political move on her part that she feels she has “earned” her right to get married before you…the one who has been with her bro for less than she has with her man, and therfore WANTS the focus t obe on HER shower, HER wedding…etc etc etc

    I completely see why you would be concerned about this and you are marrying in to this family so the sooner this is aired and sorted, the better! ๐Ÿ™‚

    If you can have the parents and the grooms to be attend as well, to get input, that may help.

    Best of everything, congrats and good luck!

    Post # 7
    10454 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    As is always said, you get one day – not a month. Realistically though, I get why you feel this way. But you’ll be called the rude one by family for complaining to her. Your day will still be amazing though! And look at it this way – hers is first so you have a month to figure out how to top her ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

    Post # 8
    3830 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @TheFutureMrsNguyen:  The difference is your best friend doesnt necessarily have the financial burden of 2 weddings, which his family very well could.  Family are very much involved in the wedding. It takes alot to pullt one together, and it would be hard for people to travel for 2 different weddings so close together. 

    Post # 9
    1330 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Swizzle:  +1

    its two mother of the groom/bride dresses

    two shower gifts/helping with shower

    two stag n doe parties///help///etc

    two weddings to help pay for

    plus a lot of the same family, I presume to attend.

    I only know of one family where this happened and the brother and sister planned the weddings four months apart…they family had money but it was very stressful on the mother who felt pulled in two directions and feeling that everything was compared to the other and didn’t want either of her kids to feel that she didn’t do the same for the other. SO that became the focus instead of “hey, I want to go buy my Johnny a diswasher and dryer for a gift because I want to”.



    Post # 12
    677 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I had two cousins from my mothers side get married within a month of me, one before and one after. I dont expect other people to plan such a huge event in their lives around my wants or my desire to be the center of attention. However, that side of my family is bizarre and I didnt care all that much since they usually only show up for the alcohol. My one aunt actually pilfered my wedding decorations and centerpieces and recycled them to use at her daughters shower a few weeks later.

    Post # 13
    2556 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Wait a second.. is this the same family as a PP who was planning an April wedding a month before her FSIL because her venue was booked and her grandparents are sick?!  Sounds eerily similar..

    Post # 14
    1785 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Sorry to say but she has waited 7 years, it is her turn whenever she wants.

    Post # 15
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    There’s more than enough thunder to go around.

    Post # 16
    623 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Oh no. This could be awkward… But there was a post written yesterday with the exact same story only from the perspective of the bride who wants her wedding a month earlier….sisters in law both posting here?

    The topic ‘FSIL planning wedding a month before mine’ is closed to new replies.

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