Post # 1
My FSIL recently got engaged and now she is wanting to plan her wedding a month before mine.
I’ve been engaged for 4months now and had my date set. While I’ve only been with her brother for 2yrs and she’s been with her now FI for 7 I don’t think she has a right to do this.
Our wedding is set for July and she’s wanting to plan hers for June she says she wants to get married on her parents anniversay but it’s only 4 weeks before mine!!! It’s going to take all the attention off my wedding and now my FI family will be so busy with her wedding that they will completely ignor mine and only be walking through the motions of everyting.
I think this is very inconsiderate of her what are your opinions?
She keeps saying that since they aren’t close with their out of town family they probably won’t come to either wedding but I really don’t care about that I feel like she is trying to steal our thunder.
She also claims that she and her FI don’t want to have any showers and arent going to register but I feel like she is just trying to get the sympathy vote from her family now.
Post # 3
I really don’t think it’s a big deal unless you have many people coming in from out of town who will be inconvenienced by the two trips in 4 weeks. Other than that, one month would not close enough to be an issue for me.
Post # 4
Personally i would never plan my wedding that close to immediate family. Simply because it puts a lot of financial pressure on them as well as how time consuming it is. If i was her i would have chosen my wedding to be in September or October at the earliest.
Just my opinion.
Post # 5
I don’t see the issue here. “Take all the attention from my wedding” seems a little childish. Not to be rude but her wedding is just as important as yours and her parents anniversary is very significant date. It’s not like she is trying to ruin your wedding or something. My best friend got engaged after me and set her date for 2 weeks before mine and I’m fine with it. I really don’t think its a big deal.
Post # 6
Oh wow! Honestly, this could cause a lot of issues and I see why you are concerned! She has been with her bf longer but yes, this needs some serious chatting upfront.
The two of you should get together asap and discuss shower, stags, etc…and I would offer up either you have a joint shower etc or your dates be moved farther apart. That is very close and tough on a family financially…unless your family is loaded, then hey, no worries, right? 🙂
I just hope this isn’t a political move on her part that she feels she has “earned” her right to get married before you…the one who has been with her bro for less than she has with her man, and therfore WANTS the focus t obe on HER shower, HER wedding…etc etc etc
I completely see why you would be concerned about this and you are marrying in to this family so the sooner this is aired and sorted, the better! 🙂
If you can have the parents and the grooms to be attend as well, to get input, that may help.
Best of everything, congrats and good luck!
Post # 7
As is always said, you get one day – not a month. Realistically though, I get why you feel this way. But you’ll be called the rude one by family for complaining to her. Your day will still be amazing though! And look at it this way – hers is first so you have a month to figure out how to top her 😉
Post # 8
@TheFutureMrsNguyen: The difference is your best friend doesnt necessarily have the financial burden of 2 weddings, which his family very well could. Family are very much involved in the wedding. It takes alot to pullt one together, and it would be hard for people to travel for 2 different weddings so close together.
Post # 9
its two mother of the groom/bride dresses
two shower gifts/helping with shower
two stag n doe parties///help///etc
two weddings to help pay for
plus a lot of the same family, I presume to attend.
I only know of one family where this happened and the brother and sister planned the weddings four months apart…they family had money but it was very stressful on the mother who felt pulled in two directions and feeling that everything was compared to the other and didn’t want either of her kids to feel that she didn’t do the same for the other. SO that became the focus instead of “hey, I want to go buy my Johnny a diswasher and dryer for a gift because I want to”.
Post # 10
I can understand why you’re upset, I would be too.
I just commented on another post yesterday about a bride setting her date a month before her FSIL. Similar to yours.
Hope it works out 🙂
Post # 11
@ohulani: Glad to see I’m not the only one dealing with a FSIL like this
Post # 12
I had two cousins from my mothers side get married within a month of me, one before and one after. I dont expect other people to plan such a huge event in their lives around my wants or my desire to be the center of attention. However, that side of my family is bizarre and I didnt care all that much since they usually only show up for the alcohol. My one aunt actually pilfered my wedding decorations and centerpieces and recycled them to use at her daughters shower a few weeks later.
Post # 13
Wait a second.. is this the same family as a PP who was planning an April wedding a month before her FSIL because her venue was booked and her grandparents are sick?! Sounds eerily similar..
Post # 14
Sorry to say but she has waited 7 years, it is her turn whenever she wants.
Post # 15
There’s more than enough thunder to go around.
Post # 16
Oh no. This could be awkward… But there was a post written yesterday with the exact same story only from the perspective of the bride who wants her wedding a month earlier….sisters in law both posting here?