FSIL seeks Bees' Advice! Am I right or am I being a bee-yotch?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: In this situation am I .....
    totally right...their plans and actions are disrespectful : (61 votes)
    58 %
    mostly right...their plans and actions are sort of thoughtless : (41 votes)
    39 %
    sorta wrong...family needs to go along to get along : (4 votes)
    4 %
    totally wrong...when they say jump I should just say "how high" : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4367 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It’s taboo around here but that is t-t-t-tacky for you brother to suggest that to your mom and BEYOND rude. What does your mom think about this? Even if it was his first wedding, I find $600 in rooms to be a little redonk for a non-destination wedding.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1613 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @primrosehedge:  I would be upset too. He needs to pay for his mother or go half with you to pay for her to come.

    Post # 5
    Member
    11379 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @primrosehedge:  is there another hotel nearby that isn’t so expensive that the mother can stay at?  $600 is a lot to ask of anyone to spend on a hotel. 

    i would flat out say that the room is too expensive for the mother and she won’t be staying there.  if the bride and groom insist that family stay in this hotel, they can pay.  if they are not paying, it is only a suggestion.  the mother can stay wherever she wants.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4760 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Um if they aren’t paying for it, just say no.  It’s only 2 hours away you can drive there for the wedding adn then drive back home.  Easy.  He can’t make you stay somewhere for two nights, that’s ridiculous.

    As for kids you can’t really dictate who is invited or not.  It’s one day your kids can make friends with the other kids or hand out with each other, not a big deal.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1362 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

    I would tell my brother that we planned on commuting, and won’t be needing the rooms they booked – thanks anyways!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1570 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Just tell thanks, we wont need the rooms.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1361 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    If he wants people to stay, he should pay.

    Guests should be able to select their own accomodation when needed, so that it’s a suitable price for them. If it’s within driving distance, why are they insisting that you guys stay there anyway?

    Post # 10
    Member
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would find a different hotel. I would never EVER, even for my BFF, stay in a hotel that cost $600 a night. He should fron at least half the bill.

    Post # 11
    Member
    165 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    And what exactly is your brother going to do if you all decide to go back home that evening? Un-invite you to the wedding? What a joke!  If he’s going to require that your mom stay at the hotel, he needs to pay.

    Post # 13
    Member
    6525 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @primrosehedge:  I love how your brother says its a once in a lifetime thing. Obviously not, bc this is his 2nd wedding!

    I wouldn’t pay $600 for a room, doesn’t matter who it is. I would attend the wedding and go back home, not stay in the room. Same for your mother. Its outrageous. If it really means that much to them, let the rich FI pay for it. Its not right to book rooms at a expensive hotel/inn and then say “oh btw, you gotta pay for your own room”

    Post # 14
    Member
    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    So your mom lives within driving distance? She should just cancel the room and drive to/from the wedding. Your brother expecting her to foot $1200 for a hotel that she doesn’t even need is ridiculous. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1570 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Don’t “overdo” the broaching, just tell them, thanks for reserving the rooms, but we are making our own arrangements.  Do it ASAP, in case someone else wants the rooms.  Thats it.  Of course the cynic in me is wondering if they get a deal on the wedding if they fill all the rooms.

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    13019 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    There’s no way in hell anyone is maknig me pay $300 bucks a night for a room.  I’d tell him I’ll be glad to be there and be part of all the festivities, but I’ll be making my own overnight accomodations and don’t need to be told where I’ll be staying unless he wants to foot the bill. 

     

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