Post # 1
My future SIL is getting married a month and a half before us, and we’ve been communicating about a lot of things throughout the process to hopefully avoid conflict/competition and overlapping too much, since a lot of the guests will be the same. We’d run into a few things the other person hadn’t discussed with each other but nothing too major, I don’t think (ex: I am getting my FI a new Bible for his wedding present… I messaged the family asking for some favorite verses to underline in it, and then she messaged me that she was intending to get her future husband a Bible also. I didn’t have a problem with the gifts being the same, and neither did she, so that was no problem).
However, she just showed us her invitations that she is about to put in the mail, and they are featuring a verse on it, 1 Cor. 13: (something). Now, I KNOW this has got to be the most popular chapter/verse for weddings ever. But… we were planning to use it as our main verse for our wedding. My fiance had it engraved on my engagement watch (given to me last June), and it was the theme of our engagement photo book (parts of the whole chapter were written throughout the pages of the book). We’d already written it into our program as our Scripture Reading, etc. I know it might be overused, but the morning after we were engaged, FI brought out the Bible and read me the verses he’d engraved on my watch, and said how he wanted us to dedicate our marriage by these verses. It was a special moment for us and I wanted to carry those verse through to our wedding.
My first instinct was to just… find another verse to use in our wedding. I don’t know if it has a special meaning for them, either, but out of respect, and since their wedding is FIRST, I could just bow out and find something else.
Until I realized it was already printed on 22 wooden box centerpieces and 200 favor labels (in our wedding “logo”) that we made before Christmas. FSIL designed her invites two weeks ago. What should I do? I’m sad to give up the verse, but I don’t want to step on any toes with my future in-laws, and it IS just a Bible verse. But if I did, I would have to re-print and remake all those items and we’re tight on money as it is. Any advice? =(
Post # 2
Keep the verse. It just sounds like one of those times where two couples independently chose the same thing.
If you’re worried about FSIL getting upset, FI can tell her (since she’s his sister so he knows her better) what you told us: how it’s already figured prominently in your engagement since last June, so it’s not as if you got the idea from her.
Post # 3
tell her her invites look beautiful, and also, just a heads up, you and FI are using the same verse a lot in your wedding as it has special significance to your engagement. Tell her she has great taste and then continue as planned. It’s such a common verse for marriage I doubt anyone will think much of it.
Post # 4
I’m yet to go to a church wedding that doesn’t use this verse so I wouldn’t be concerned. I’ve never thought anyone was copying one another – it’s a really relevant and popular verse that relates to weddings and marriage.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
i agree with pp, I’d think it’s the norm to have that verse, I wouldn’t think that you were copying her or whatnot. Plus, it means a lot to you and your FI.
Post # 7
HBanan: atreyu547: Lollybags: Feist: aussiemum1248:
Thank you everyone for your advice! I think I will just do what you guys say, mention that we are using the verse already in several of our wedding pieces and maybe ask her how much she was planning to do the same. If it looks like she is bothered by this, I could re-visit how much we are using it–perhaps not include it in the ceremony, etc. but probably no one will notice if it’s on the decor items! Little details are so important to us, but I doubt anyone else really pays as much attention as we do to them…
Post # 8
whitemochi622: you shouldn’t give up something that has such deep personal meaning for anyone. Do NOT ask her how much she plans to use it, and don’t worry if she is bothered. If she is bothered by it, that’s selfish considering you would have told her how it has played such a huge roll in your life leading up to marriage.
Don’t rearrange your wedding and spend more money to avoid hurting her feelings when your feelings will be hurt. It doesn’t matter if her wedding is first, is just one day and her day will have past and you will get your own special day.