Post # 1
My FI’s brother’s wife showed me what she wants to wear to our cocktail attire wedding. It was a green swimsuit cover-up, which she was presently wearing over a wet swimsuit. I told her (as politely as I could) that the wedding is in the evening and that cover-up, er um "dress," might be too casual for the event.
I really don’t want to make her feel bad, but she is really clueless about looking classy. She dresses like a hooker – seriously. Mini skirts, comically large fake boobs, cropped low-cut shirts. Both of her girls and husband are in the wedding, so everyone in her family will be really dressed up, making it look even worse. Plus, she wore a see-through dress at another family wedding last year. It was terrible – a lot of people were talking about it at the reception – even guests that didn’t even know her.
My FMIL suggested that invite her to go shopping with us and FMIL will buy her a dress to wear. But FSIL knows that FMIL hates her and openly disapproves of how she dresses. I’m wondering if I should invite her instead, because I think I’ve been a little more friendly to her over the years. I don’t want to make it seem like we are singling her out (even though technically we are). Thoughts?
Post # 3
I think it would definitely be better coming from you. You could try on outfits and dresses and then say, "Wow, that would be perfect to wear to my wedding!" Make sure you let her know that you want her to look like the beautiful, classy woman you know she’s hiding.
Post # 4
Yikes…this is a sticky situation! A bathing suit cover up? Seriously?? I feel awful for you, but I can’t help but laugh at the thought.
I would suggest you offer to take her shopping on your own. Especially since FMIL has already made it known that she’s not the most liked member of the family and already disapproves of her dressing habits. Maybe if you take her, she’ll take it to heart and actually wear something a little more classy…
Good luck! I hope it all works out!
Post # 5
I’m guilty of not liking how my MIL dresses. So I asked her to go dress shopping for my wedding, saying that I love dress shopping and would be happy to tag along when she goes. I asked her if I could help her pick out some dresses since I wanted to see lots of different styles on her, thankfully she was open to the suggestion. The day was long, but we had fun and bonded. Ultimately she decided on a gorgeous dress that I picked out.
I would invite your FSIL out shopping make a day out of it, be sure to buy some items for youself. Take her to a store that you know has nicer dresses (Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, Nordstrom) Sometimes you can get great deals on sale or on the clearance rack. Say that it will give you guys a chance to hang out together.
Post # 6
I agree, invite FSIL on a shopping spree. In fact, make it about you and then encourage her to try on dresses too after you get there, then maybe she won’t feel like you’re in disapproval of her too.
Post # 7
Honestly, with someone so clueless, I’d probably bridezilla this one out… "That’s a swimsuit coverup, not a cocktail dress. Do you have a little black dress you can wear?" (Unless you’re superstitious about the "no-black-at-weddings" rule, in which case a little navy dress or a little brown dress or whatever would work.)
Post # 8
Seriously, can we please, pleeeease have a MIL Hall of Fame gallery for these outfits? Ok, ok, that would be bad in case they ever saw it, but really, this is like the tenth post I’ve seen on this exact issue! What is it with FMILs wanting to show up in hoochie-wear! Is this some kind of psychological phenomenon when your son gets married?
Post # 9
OMG a bathing suit coverup???!!! Why wouldn’t she want to buy a new dress for her brothers wedding? just tell her your wedding is offically cocktail attire. She’ll probably end up in a black hooker dress anyway but at least that is better than a bathing suit cover up.
Post # 10
haha Rose999 I was thinking the same thing! Ive seen some seriously "WTF is she wearing" outfits, Id LOOOOVE to see a hall of fame!
Post # 11
I agree with worcesterbride about calling her out – you could even do it in a joking tone, then ask her if she’d like to come shopping with you. Lie and say you saw something recently at Nordstrom that would look great on her!
You could also ask her to be a bridesmaid! Then she will have to wear what you’ve already selected!
Or, you could be totally passive aggressive , let her wear whatever the heck she wants and just ask the photographer/videographer to avoid her. Say "Okay, now one with just the brothers.." you catch my drift. I’m sure it won’t be the first time they’ve gotten instructions like that!
Post # 12
There is definitely a tactful way to get your point accross. I would agree in that you should take her shopping. Suggest options for her to try on. When she tries them on praise her for wonderful it looks. Humans learn most quickly from positively enforced behavior. Try not to criticize, seems like you are doing a great job of that so far!
Post # 13
Yikes….I would invite her shopping and tell her that you want to get a dress for your (shower, rehearsal dinner, brunch, whatever you can think of) and see if maybe she wants to go shopping for a dress for (one of these events) too? Then while you are there suggest stuff she can wear to the wedding.
Post # 14
LOL!! I know i shouldnt laugh, but what IS the deal with the crazily dressed MILs and SILs…I agree with all the other posters…suggest a girls shopping trip.
So can we see a pic of the cover up? LOL!!! Seriously…a cover up? To a wedding?
Post # 15
Invite her shopping with you, just you or you and a friend of yours and you can all try stuff on and when you find something fabulous for her, encourage her to wear it. Or, as other posters have said, make sure the camera avoids her!
Or, next time you’re at the pool, make sure to spill something like red wine on her "dress".
Post # 16
Thanks all for your comments. I’m thinking a little shopping day would be good, maybe even with her daughters. They take the edge off.