- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
This is more of a long rant/venting since I’m not sure what to do. But some advice would help! 🙂
First off, I’ve got eight BMs for the wedding. Yes EIGHT! I know what you’re thinking – but honestly most of them have been absolutely wonderful. I have tried to make it easy on my BMs and ask very little of them. They all ordered their dresses online or bought them at the mall. I was really open to what they wanted to wear and most of them got it at great prices (one of them even got a beautiful dress for a steal at $25 – marked down from $90!) I didn’t even want a bridal shower, but they were wonderful and threw one for me anyway and took me on an awesome bachelorette party a couple weeks ago. For the most part the BM situation has been nice and stress free.
I say MOST cause there is FSIL. We get along for the most part but she really is best in small doses. To give you some background on SOME of the things she has done:
– Took months and months to pick her dress. I must’ve sent her 30+ links to dresses online and took her out shopping to a couple malls. I took in consideration to keep everything under $70 since she’s a student. She finally finds a dress on her own but it costs over $100 so she makes FMIL pay for it. BUT it doesn’t fit. She says she’ll return it but missed the 30 day return deadline and its now currently in the back of her closet somewhere never to be worn – and she refuses to at least pay her mom back.
– Finally finds another dress online which she custom orders with all these extras so the price comes out to over $200. AGAIN her mom pays. The dress comes and her first reaction is “I don’t like the color.” even though she was the one that ordered it and picked out the color. Her mom puts her foot down and she at leasts agrees to wear it but doesn’t miss a chance to mention how she will be wearing a hideous BM dress for my wedding.
– Tells us she is NOT going to bring a plus one to the wedding. But then waits until we are at a family function to proclaim loudly to everyone that FH and I refused to give her a plus one.
– Doesn’t respond to any emails from my BMs about helping to organize the bridal shower or bachelorette. My MOH sends her a text and simply asks if she has any ideas (and also adds that if she’s too busy with school to help that’s totally cool). Her response back was “I think the emails have been landing in my junk mail. Honestly haven’t bothered to check.” Umm if you’re busy that’s cool, but why send back such a rude response? When she finally DOES respond all she says is “Remember I’m just a student so you all really need to consider me when planning this because if this costs a lot of money I’m not going to pay.” If she had actually read any of the other emails she would have seen that they were planning a nice yet cost-effective bach party. It came out to like $80 a girl (at least this time she borrowed from her Dad – you see how she seems to complain about money but hasnt’ really needed to spend a dime?)
– Tries to cause drama by talking badly about the groomsmen to the other BMs. Also refuses to walk with any of the groomsmen down the aisle except for this one guy she wants to get with even though that GM has a GF.
So all this to say that it’s been annoying yet bareable but she really took the cake yesterday.
Her ex from FIVE years ago is one of the groomsmen (he is also one of FH’s oldest friends). She knew for over a year that her ex was one of the groomsmen. I guess FSIL recently found out that her ex was bringing his new gf and she FREAKED out and actually threatened that if she saw those two together then she was going to “have a breakdown and make a scene and ruin the wedding.” She follows it up by saying that she really doesn’t want to ruin the wedding – well then DON’T! She is TWENTY-SIX years old I’m sure she can handle briefly seeing her ex (we’re not having a head table and there will be a lot of people at the reception so I can sit them far away).
I tell her that it’s been so long and that you’ll probably be busy that day with family and friends so it won’t be that bad. Her response was “nope, nope I know myself and if I see him I will have a breakdown.”
My FH is close to kicking her out of the bridal party all together but I know it will cause us more problems. So, eugh not even sure what to do at this point. Anyway sorry for the TL;DR rant but some advice would be nice. 🙂