FSILs and large wedding parties…what did you do?

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Did you ask your FSILs as BMs, and how big was your bridal party?
    I don't have FSILs/SILs : (8 votes)
    14 %
    I have them but didn't ask them : (12 votes)
    21 %
    I asked them, and my bridal party was 4 or less : (14 votes)
    25 %
    I asked them, and my bridal party was 5 or more : (22 votes)
    39 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    802 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

    @PromiseRooster:  I plan to have two boys in my wedding party because they are my people and not my SO’s. So I’m not conventional. I would either have your friends or a big wedding party. 

    I think they’d be honoured to be asked… and what is your FH’s wedding party number? I think that would help me make the decision.

    Post # 4
    Member
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I have two FSILs (FI’s little sister and FI’s SIL), and I asked the little sister. I can’t stand the SIL, so there was no way in hell I’d ask her, even if someone told me that I “had” to.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1582 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @PromiseRooster:  I asked my sister and my FSIL. I already had 8 girlfriends I wanted to be bridesmaids, but I felt it would be better to not leave anyone out, so I had a total wedding party of 10. My husband had 10 as well including my 2 brothers.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2913 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i have 4 sisters in law and they were not in my wedding. we wanted a small bridal party, so if i’d added my sisters in law to the mix i would have had 7 bridesmaids and that was too many for me. i also felt like it would have been a financial burden on them and i know my husband and i would have gotten stuck paying for dresses for at least 2 of them.

    i think you should keep your bridal party on the small side, since that’s what you want. and maybe ask your sisters in law to be readers or something.

    Post # 7
    Member
    307 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @PromiseRooster:  I didn’t ask either of them. I have one sister (my MOH) and FI has one brother (Best Man) and two sisters. He wasn’t in his sister’s wedding, so he says its totally fine not to ask them (one of them I’ve only met once).

    We are asking his other sister’s kids to be the ringbearer and flower girl and plan on having their mom/his sis walk down with them. 

    I only have 3, and really didn’t want more, but there’s nothing wrong with having five and including them. I stressed about asking people and everyone was thrilled to do it, even though I worried they wouldn’t want to (why, I have no idea, since I was pleased and flattered every time I was asked).

    Post # 8
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I asked my FSIL to be in my wedding party because my fiance wanted me too. I wouldn’t have done it on my own accord (mostly because I hate her freaking guts). But I am sure your FSIL’s would be honored. I would at least ask them and get the option. I was not in my borther’s wedding and honestly I was a little hurt to not even be asked.

    I have 11 bridesmaids total.

    Post # 10
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    There is definitely no expectation that you ask them – you should ask them if you genuinely want them to be part of the day. 🙂 They can participate in all of the extra stuff as much or as little as they have time and energy for (and you can see from the boards here that there are extremely varying levels of bridesmaid participation!).

    Post # 15
    Member
    1582 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @PromiseRooster:  We invited ~400 guests. We had somewhere between 250-260 guests actually attend. I did enjoy having a large bridal party, but looking back I would have been okay with a smaller party as well. A few of those friendships aren’t quite as close as they were, but that’s okay. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @PromiseRooster:  In my circle, asking the future FSIL is pretty normal.

    I had only 3 bridesmaids, my best friend as my MOH, my FSIL at the time, and my other SIL (my brother’s wife). They all were happy to be asked and hoped they would get to be included. I decided to limit it at the 3 because I had so many other good friends I couldn’t choose between, no one could argue with me about my BFF and family members.

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