Post # 1
I always felt sorry for brides who wrote about their FMIL wearing white to their weddings. I thought it could never happen to me, since my FMIL is great and considerate and stylish. Well. I just got an email from FI’s stepmom, asking me what I thought of her dress choice.
Yep. It is white. Champagne actually, but still. My dress is light ivory.
She specifically asked if I thought it was too fancy (our wedding will be somewhat casual). Other than the color, though, it is actually quite appropriate and pretty. Now, she hasn’t actually ordered the dress yet, so there’s a chance that it wouldn’t fit or she wouldn’t like it in real life. And honestly, I don’t care what she wears. She won’t be in every single family portrait, and we can make sure that we aren’t standing next to each other in any of them.
However, she asked me what I thought of the dress and I don’t want to lie and say I think it is perfect, either. What do I say?
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery
What colors are the other mothers wearing? Maybe you could say that you like it but suggest she order it in another color.
Post # 4
I would be honest with her. Explain that you love the dress and think she’d look fantastic in it, but you worry that it might photograph white in comparison to everyone else and won’t be distinguishable from your shade of ivory. Don’t accuse her of attempting to wear white, just let her know that your one reservation is the color and go from there. If the dress comes in another color, that would be a great option.
Post # 5
If you don’t want her to wear a color that is close to your dress then you tell her that maybe she could find something that complemented the color scheme of the wedding. If you don’t care then tell her the dress is fine.
Post # 6
Say you that you think the dress is lovely, but that you think it may be too light. My mom is wearing champagne — it is a popular motb color. Also, pictures generally make clothing look lighter, so it may not be nearly as "white" looking as you think. I’d talk to her.
Post # 7
I would just let her know you think that although it’s a lovely dress, and appropriate in every other way, it’s a little too close to white. You should give her some suggestions as to color, based on your colors and also what the other moms are wearing. Both my mom and my FMIL asked me what colors they should look for when dress shopping, and I gave them a color palette to try to stay within. Normally this is how it goes, but it sounds like you haven’t given her any guidance, which is probably why she’s emailing you the photo to see what you think. So tell her!
Oddly enough, everybody doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo about not wearing white (or ivory) to a wedding.
Post # 8
Be polite as possible, but I think you should give her your honest opinion.
However, you say that you don’t really care what she wears, so is it worth it to point it out? I promise you that NO ONE will mistake her as the bride. Even if she wears stark white, the attention will not be on her.
Post # 9
Thanks, ladies! Based on what calicoteach mentioned, I looked at the dress again and it may actually be darker than I originally thought. I don’t think the other mothers have picked out their dresses yet, and I don’t have a very strict color scheme, so I can’t use those things as hints. The only other color it comes in is black, and I’d prefer the champagne color to black since the wedding is during the day and dressy-casual.
It’s true that it is probably not worth bringing up; and since I didn’t have any other complaints about the dress I told her it would be fine. We’ll see if she ends up making it her final choice!
So thanks again! I just freaked out a little last night about what to say. 🙂
Post # 10
I actually wanted my mother and FMIL to wear ivory/champagne/light pink or even WHITE! This way, they will stand out with me!