- 3 years ago
- Wedding: December 2009
Up until I had my own baby, I’d never been around any long enough to pay much attention to their mannerisms. I knew they cried, ate, pooped & peed a lot, but anything else was lost on me!
My son is now 4 months old. He is a “good” baby, doesn’t cry just because & easily adapts to his surroundings & situations. When he started daycare he didn’t cry, & sometimes when I’ve gone in there & all the other babies ARE crying, he’ll be the one chillin’ in the swing like “what is UP with all these crybabies?!” Lol. The staff constantly talk about what a “good” baby he is & how he’s happy all the time, etc. The other day a staff said “I just love being around him. He’s so happy & laid back! Is he like that at home?” I just kind of looked at her & stuttered a “Well… It depends on the day…” Honestly, I didn’t know what else to say! Here’s why:
On days that we’re at home (evenings, weekends) he seems… fidgety, for lack of a better word. He has a very short attention span & rarely tolerates doing one thing for longer than 15 minutes tops. Of course he can’t sit up or walk yet, so basically he has me moving him from one place to the next ALL DAY LONG. It is EXHAUSTING. Like I mentioned earlier, he doesn’t cry just to cry, but when he’s “done” in one spot, he will start fussing until I move him & even THEN he doesn’t act totally content. He “fidgets” by constantly breathing heavy, kicking his legs, etc. So even though he’s not crying, he’s still not acting “normal” IMO. This isn’t ALL the time, but it is MOST of the time. (Sometimes he will be totally engaged on his tummy or back with his toys, or with me holding him.) The only time he acts content or “normal” (which is only my IDEA of how a “normal”) is when we go somewhere in the car or out in public. He’s perfectly content riding in the car or in his stroller in a store, looking around at things, etc. Yesterday for instance, I met a friend for lunch, then went shopping. He was a perfect angel for THREE HOURS! He even slept part of that time! At home, he rarely naps & if he does it’s not longer than 30 minutes.
I’ve talked to his Dr about this, who just had a baby herself a couple years ago. She said it’s normal. I’ve talked to one of the daycare workers, since she sees babies all the time, & she too said it was normal & that they DON’T have long attention spans but O.M.G.
Some days like today, I’m at my wits end. My hubby is sick today, so he’s been staying away from the baby or sleeping in the other room, otherwise he’s usually good about engaging him or holding him so I can get a break. Today it’s been all on me though. Luckily he’s asleep now so I actually have a moment to type this! I’m serious ladies, I need answers. Are babies normally fidgety?! Do they usually kick their little legs & breath heavy?! It makes me concerned that I have might have a hyperactive baby or something. I’ve read about babies who are easily over-stimulated & get fussy because of it, but I don’t think that’s the case because it happens at home, whether it’s noisy or quiet, tv off or on, etc. He does MUCH better in loud places where there is an assortment of sounds & activity!
If you read my confessions of a FTM a month or so back, you already know I’ve had struggles with adjusting to mommyhood. I’m not breastfeeding nearly as much as I was before, which I feel is best for me honestly, but I still struggle with all of it & I’m not scared to admit it. It’s freaking HARD. Then I have these questions going through my mind about “is he acting normal?” Or “Am I doing something wrong?” Etc. I believe we are good parents, & I believe I’m a good mom. I do my best to tend to his needs right away & never let him feel like he’s being ignored or forced to cry it out. I’m not judging others who parent that way, but I just can’t (& I can’t stand listening to the crying. It would be worse for me than it would for him! lol.)
I try to interact with him all day, even if he’s on tummy time & I’m eating lunch or something. I’ll talk to him, etc but HOW does one really “play” with a 4 month old? I mean, I’ll hold him, hold a stuffed animal up & make it “talk” to him, I’ll read him a book (while he just grabs at the pages & drools), etc but sometimes I just feel stupid doing it. I know he’s too little to know what’s going on & honestly I would just rather let him play on his mat on the floor! Is that wrong?
Sigh…. I am SO ready for him to be older for so many reasons.
Can anyone relate to any of this and/or answer my questions? I’ve googled “fidgety baby” but it’s not very insightful. Help…