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Mr. A and I are both heartbroken but I had to make a choice.
His family will never respect me or my daughter and her disability.
My post from last night detailed all they have put me through.
I am too broken now to continue with this charade.
We have not ended our relationship but instead I, with the help of a counselor, need to decide if I can stay or not.
Mr. A has been nothing but good to me and my little Annabelle but his family continues to break us down. Little A needs stability, love, and support and she will not get that from his family.
So sorry to hear this... sending you love and positivity...
I read your earlier post and I am heartbroken for you. I too have a young daughter from a previous relationship and the bottom line is you have to look out for her first. When I read that she cried herself to sleep it made my heart drop. Why are people so cruel?? I wish all 3 of you the best of luck and I hope that everything works out for you. (((Hugs)))
@SoontobeMrsA: (((((Hugs)))) to you. I am so sorry.
Good for you for talking with a counselor. Are you going to do couple's counseling too?
All I can say is that I am here for you. You are a wonderful person and an even better mother. You deserve all the best in the world.
@SoontobeMrsA: sooo sorry hunny. This has all been so heartbreaking to read about. I truly hope that he is able to get his family to have a change of heart.
I am so sorry!! You said that you are both heartbroken so Im assuming that he isnt happy that the engagement is off. If you two want to be together he needs to be the one to keep his family in line, because your right A does need stability just like every child. I am so sorry you are feeling down and I hope that everything works out for you!! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your little family :)
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Sending you good thoughts!
I'm so sorry too. I read your post from last night and I agree with organizedbride 100%.
My husband has shunned his family because of their treatment of me. If you and MR. A were already married, you wouldn't be divorcing him because of his family, would you? Are you sure you want to sacrifice your happiness because of them? If he were to choose them or you, it would be his choice.
It would say a lot about how much he loves you if he chose you.
I can't believe how awful and hateful those people are after reading your post from last night. Big hugs.
I read your post yesterday but I didn’t comment. I’m so sorry that it’s come to this. We all know how much you and Mr. A love and care for each other. It’s a shame that his shitty family had to get in the way of that.
I take it nothing came of the ultimatum he gave them (maybe you posted a follow up but I didn’t see it)? I know you guys just bought a house but is moving an option? I imagine that would be hard with his son but maybe even just putting an hour between you and these disgusting excuses for human beings could help.
*sigh* I’m heartbroken for you. :(
I'm sorry hun, I know this decision must have been very difficult for you. I wish you the best and will keep you in my thoughts. Hugs to Annabelle.
:-( *hugs* Why can't you guys just move far away from them? I hate them. You are much better than me because I would have cussed them all out by now.
I am so sorry you have to go through this! Stay strong and my thoughts are with you and your little girl. <hugs>
My heart is sad for you. I am so sorry, but you are doing the right thing by putting yourself and your daughter first. Sending prayers your way.
A bajillion hugs for you and little A. :( I'm sooo sooo sorry. :(
@Just_Squeeze: agreed.
@SoontobeMrsA: Move away. Move FAR AWAY. I just read the other post. Give him time to see if he DOES keep his word and what he said.
honestly, I can't see the family changing, but that doesn't mean you or he have to be a part of their lives. Breaking ties hurts and sucks, but it can be done.
Regardless, do what's right for you and Little A. That's what matters the most.
The biggest question I have is: will he LET you walk away? Will he follow you to the ends of the earth, bury the family (not literally, as nice as it might be ;) ), and be with you and your daughter until the end of your days?
Ok, maybe that's more than one, but if he does... and he breaks all ties with the family for you, then I'd say he's definitely a keeper ;)
I am so sorry. I know thing are bad right now but I hold out hope that everything will work out for best. Your heart is so big and your love is so strong. If there is a way for all of this to work out for your family I am sure you and Mr A will find it.
I'm sorry. Family can make or break a relationship sometimes. And writing off one's family is much easier said than done. I think you have the right attitude here. Your daughter comes FIRST, no matter how much you love him and no matter what you personally want. I hope you know that not many people would be strong enough to make that choice if they were confronted with it. Counseling will help. I'm sending you big hugs.
@SoontobeMrsA: i am so sorry! I have a sister who is mentally challanged so i can sympathize. luckily my father in law has a brother with down syndrome so its something they were used to and have dealt with before - my sister can be a hand full but i love her to death and i was really worried about how people (outside of my family) would treat her.
I know my mother struggled for years with her mother's reaction to my sister. She just did not understand the issues and therefore was not supportive or loving the way a grandmother should be. It really sucks that people cannot see past the issues at hand and realize that she is a little girl with feelings who needs special care. Poor Annabelle does not need to be in that environment.
Hats off to you - i hope you and your FI can figure something out since he seems to be a great person and supportive of you and Annabelle. It truely takes a special person to care for a child with needs but i also believe anyone who gets a chance to be involved in her life will come out a much better person as well. You amaze me :)
I just read your post from last night.
I am very sorry that you are going through this.
It seems that the past year has been very tough for you. I know that things will get better soon!
I hope that whatever life brings your way will be the best for you and annabelle!
Big hugs to both of you
Oh honey. I just have no words to describe how much I hate that you are going through this.
I have long said that you are an amazing mother and so incredibly strong. What you are doing now proves that so much more. There are very few ppl that would be able to stand up and say enough. You love him with every fiber of your being and that's very evident. But, putting that aside to ensure your child gets the loving enviroment she deserves isn't easy to do.
I wish there was more I could do/say to help you. Know that I am here. PM me or FB me. I will always listen and do whatever I can.
Stay strong, keep your head up and remember that you are amazing!
this is terrible :( ((HUGS)) There are some seriously evil people in the world.
I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope that you and your FI are able to come to a point where you can still be together despite his awful family since I can tell that he cares for you and Annabelle very much.
Hugs and I'm thinking of you!!
I also kept up with your posts and I am sorry it has happened. I hope you feel the good vibes and love from the hive, because we're sending it your way!
You deserve the very best for yourself and your daughter, and you did the right thing in thinking about your daughter first before all else, You're a great mom.
I'm very sorry about this. Unfortunately I think you're doing the right thing at this particular time, but I genuinely hope that you and Mr. A can find a resolution to this. He gave them an ultimatum...did they respond to it?
My friends keep saying I have to put myself first. I can't let people continue to demean me.
Mr. A will not let me walk away without a fight.
AND Mr. A will not give up Annabelle without a fight.
We're at his parents so I took A and we left for a few hours. Now we're back and things have calmed down but I can't help feeling as though the last year I have been treating with absolutely no respect and not a thing has changed.
But I look at Mr A and I can't imagine spending even a day without him.
@SoontobeMrsA: Your friends are right. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. And I hope everything works out, in one way shape or form.
@SoontobeMrsA: I wish I knew the whole story. But "putting yourself first"...doesn't that mean putting your happiness first? Dosen't that happiness include your fiance? No, NEVER let anyone demean you or your child. Maybe I'll go read your previous posts because I'm not sure what's going on here. Is it that your fiance can't put his family in their place?
I hope you two can work it out, it seems like you have a good thing going on. He needs to start standing up to his family though. Counselling sounds like a good idea.
HIs mother is in her 80s and has heart problems so he tries not to upset her. He did tell them it has to stop but they were rather defiant about it.
My issue is I can't ask or even allow the man I love so much to sever ties with his family.
:( I read your post last night and i'm so sad to read this one today. It seems like you love each other sooooo much, I hate this for 2 people who seem so happy together otherwise. I really hope you will be able to work things out. ((((((HUG)))))) i'm so sorry :(
I see now.
I wish you all the best. If he chooses you, he chooses you. Please don't feel guilty if that ends up being the case.
Someone once told me "His family will not be around forever. So a man chooses a wife and to her he is loyal"
It's horrible they can't just let all of you be happy. I would, however, let him make his choice.
@SoontobeMrsA: Severing all ties and creating distance are two different things. The fact that he is supporting you and Little A are huge factors that cannot be ignored. I don't know how close you live to them or how often you see them, but I think starting to go see them less often will be a sure indicator to them that their actions are not ok. It is their loss not to be in your lives not the other way around. And yes they should be ashamed of themselves but I am sure in their eyes they have done nothing wrong. So keep your distance and eventually things will if not get better at least become a non existant problem.
Mr. A just put it in very clear cut terms:
I will not lose soontobemrsa. She is what I want and what makes me happy. She is a good wife and a good mother. If I have to choose, I choose her.
He doesn't have to choose. Or rather, he shouldn't have to. If he stood up to them in terms where they took him seriously and realized it really WAS going to be you or them, they'd have no choice but to straighten up. He's just let it go on too long and now they know they can get away with it. He might not like confrontation, but he can't have it both ways either. If he wants you to stick around, he has to MAKE them treat you with respect.
I think you two should run like hell to the courthouse and elope. Once you're a legally united front everyone can either put up or shut up.
Well, he certainly made the right decision! You choose your wife, you don't choose family--but you still have to deal with it. Hopefully a bit of distance will help.
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