Full disclosure: Are you hiding infidelity from your current SO?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Are you hiding infidelity from your current SO?
    Yes, but it was a one time mistake so I don't see the point in ruining our relationship. : (25 votes)
    5 %
    Yes, but SO has cheated on me too so I get a free pass. : (2 votes)
    0 %
    Yes, but I know SO would leave me so I'll never tell. : (4 votes)
    1 %
    Yes, but I don't want to deal with the fallout of confessing so I'll never tell. : (19 votes)
    4 %
    Yes, and I am a chronic cheater who hides it. : (10 votes)
    2 %
    Yes, and I justify hiding it for some other reason. : (3 votes)
    1 %
    No, I have cheated on current SO but SO knows about it. : (13 votes)
    2 %
    No, I have never cheated on my current SO. : (457 votes)
    86 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1242 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

    i have never cheated on DH nor could i imagine cheating on him. it would devastate both of us as we both know we wouldn’t be able to forgive the other for that. and i tell DH EVERYTHING. Even things that i think are TMI sometimes so i could never hide that from him.

    Post # 4
    Member
    8071 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I could never hide it. I would feel so awful I wouldnt be able to eat, sleep or look at him in the face. I would crumble and confess immediately and it would be over.

     

    Makes me shudder to think about it!

    Post # 5
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m not! I’ve never cheated on DH.

    But he knows if he ever does cheat, and it’s a one-time thing that will NEVER be repeated, that I do NOT want to know about it!

    Post # 6
    Member
    926 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @MrsBuesleBee:  I’m the same way. When ever I feel guilt for something, my stomach never settles and I can’t eat, sleep, or smile. I would give myself away, but thankfully, I have absolutely no reason to cheat or want to cheat 🙂

    Post # 7
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee

    I can’t imagine cheating on my SO and i’m not sure that I would be able to forgive myself if I did. Full disclosure – I cheated on someone before and would occasionally be overcome with guilt and shame about it, even though I knew in my head and heart that the relationship was a dead-end. I can not even imagine how awful I would feel about myself if I were to do that to my current SO who is the absolute love of my life.

    It would be interesting to hear from some people who voted for the options indicating that they did cheat on their current SO, but I can understand why someone might not want to publicly say that.

    Post # 8
    Member
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I have never cheated on my FI. Nor has he that I know of. I have cheated in the past though, but I will not ever be sharing that with FI, which doesn’t matter much anyway, because he never asks about my past relationships.

    Post # 9
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee

    @-MONSTER-:  What would you do if he asked? My SO flat out asked me if I had ever cheated on anyone, a few months after we started dating. I was completely honest with him but I know that it was difficult for him to hear. I don’t regret telling him, but he reassures me that he trusts me just as I reassure him that I wouldn’t do that to him whenever he worries about it (which isn’t often). That level of open communication has been really helpful for us!

    Post # 10
    Member
    865 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I slept with someone else during the first month of our relationship, before we mutually decided we wanted to be exclusive.  FI knows I got up to no good with the guy (mutual friend) but not that I actually had sex with him…

    But I don’t know if FI had sex with anyone during that month…and I don’t feel the need to know.  I don’t count it as cheating, and I’ve been faithful to him ever since, over 4 years now. 

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    2179 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    I love my SO more than anything and wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt him. ever. If i cheated it would kill him. I love him too much, nothing is worth losing him.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    No, I have never cheated on my DH. I take cheating very seriously and I think its one of the worst things that you can do to your SO. I would never cheat on him. If he cheated on me we would be done whether it was a druken one night stand or an ongoing affair. I have no tolerance for it.

    Post # 13
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @adoc86:  +1. I’ve never cheated on anyone. I fail to see the point. If I was that unhappy, I’d leave. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2052 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @BrandNewBride:  Woah you are a better woman that I!! I have NO tolerance!

    @IheartUFC:  LOL what is the point of this post!!?!?!?!?  Woah!  We might find some innnnnnerrreeesssting things about bees on here!

    If I was gonna cheat, I straight up leave the relationship and wouldn’t be waiting anymore on my SO to graduate to get married, screw that, ON TO THE NEXT ONE!!!

    Post # 16
    Member
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    @Sassyfras27:  I would tell him the truth of course, that it was the one time right after high school. Although I really don’t think he will ever ask, he’s the kinda guy i guess, that doesn’t care to hear about anything past relationship wise, from his side or mine. I’m kinda in the same boat.

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