Post # 1
For bees who don’t live with their FI or didn’t live with him before marriage, how important is full financial disclosure?
FI and I are exchanging “Mint” login information and printing out our credit reports so we can see what we are dealing with. Did anyone else do the same?
Post # 3
Before we signed any leases and agreed to move in with each other, we went over all of our assets and liabilities so there would be no surprises. I think it’s incredibly important to be aware of each other’s financial situation so you can budget appropriately.
Post # 4
@TaurianDoll: I actually am living with my fi, and we are completely shring finances.
That being said, if I weren’t, I would want to have full disclosure. We’ve been pretty open with money from the begining, so we already knew a lot about each other’s finances. For example, two weeks into dating my now fiance, I (idiotically) handed him my atm card and gave him my pin while I was working the desk in the dorm we both lived in. I could not leave the desk, and we had ordered a pizza. I needed him tog et out change for me for my part. Happily, my trust was well placed. Since then, we’ve known about each other’s situations.
I applaud you for your thoughtful forsight in making sure you both know what you’re getting into!
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Absolutely important to know what each of you are getting into financially so you can decide how to handle your finances as a married couple. I am the budgeter in the household so my FH defers me regarding the budget and making sure bills get paid on time. I have a huge student loan debt that he is aware of as well. Since finances are one of top causes of divorce, entering into a marriage knowing where you both stand financially will likely save you both a lot of surprises and headaches down the road.
Post # 6
We didn’t go to such measures with making sure we knew each others financial situation since we have been together since high school and have pretty much always known what was going on with our finances, but I do think its extremely important in a relationship to know whats going on.
Post # 7
We both have separate mint accounts, as well as online banking with our respective financial institutions, and a shared password to our joint credit card.
We wouldn’t go so far as to exchange passwords for our chequing accounts, as neither of us feels the need to keep tabs on the other’s spending. Also, how do you buy gifts etc.. without spoiling the surprise?
I’m the only one with any negative financial history, I was bankrupt about 7 years ago, but I have a student loan, credit card and mortgage now, all of which are completely clean and up-to-date.
I told him about the bankruptcy before we were even dating, because I like to talk about it as much as I can since I don’t like the stigma that’s attached.
Post # 8
we don’t share passwords to bank accounts or open each other’s financial mail, but we each know what we’re dealing with when it comes to the other persons finances. We’re incredibly open about it though. It’s very important so there are no hidden surprises.
Post # 9
I think if you’re planning to marry eventually, then full disclosure is a must.
We haven’t share passwords though, but Mint lets us see each other’s stuff.
Post # 10
It’s an absolute necessity. Did I WANT to tell H about my enormous and irresponsible cc debt? No, but I did. Did he want to tell me about his financial issues and huge student loan debt? No, but he did. We are working on paying it all off together.
Post # 11
I don’t share my passwords but we shared info about debt.
Post # 12
Yeah we have a shared mint account, I don’t go into his checking stuff generally though, and he never buys me presents without me knowing something about it. We only have one shared savings account though, so most of the mint stuff is for us to start to see our shared account as both of ours instead of just a random place where money goes. No shared banking passwords though.
Post # 13
Full disclosure in the sense that we know each others debt, and general spending habits, but we don’t exchange passwords or print out credit reports. But we’ve also been together since high school, so we know every major financial decision the other has made. So I wouldn’t marry someone without knowing what their financial situation is like.
Post # 14
Very, but it has been a process throughout dating, not a “print everything out and let’s sit down with it” event. It started out with small stuff – talking about goals of paying off student loans (and then celebrating when that did happen), discussing purchasing a car and how that would be paid for, talking about beliefs on credit and credit scores, sharing credit scores when it came up naturally in conversation, and as we got closer to engagement, disclosing exact salaries when a raise came up, talking about exact amounts we had in savings, etc.
We also took Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University together as part of our pre-engagement prep and that facilitated some of the discussions on things like how much life insurance we have, our expectations for how much we’d have as “free money” every month, what we’d eventually spend on a house, that sort of thing.
I haven’t felt the need to ask him for printouts/log-ins, because I’ve seen enough throughout dating that I know what he has told me is true.
For anyone out there that isn’t yet engaged – start this process WAY before you get engaged! Once you get engaged it is much harder to look at financial things with logic or to back out if you find something that is a big problem (like a gambling problem or debt that indicates ongoing irresponsibility).
Post # 15
Before FI and I moved in together, we sat down and discussed our financial obligations. We didn’t print everything out, but we talked about student loan debt, car payments, how we handle credit card payments, etc. We also discussed what we think is a “small” purchase, what is a “big” purchase, what we would like to spend on a house one day, what constitutes an emergency purchase, what both of our earning potentials are and if/how much we would be willing to loan/give a family member.
I think it is extremely important to know exactly what your partner’s financial obligations and outlooks are.
Post # 16
We defnintely discussed everything- wanted to make sure we are on the same page. Neither of us had any debt (other thanhis mortgage), so that was great! We are both financially very responsible and had fairly large incomes- important to know this stuff especially as we wanted a baby and wanted to make sure we were financially secure for baby and baby’s future!