(Closed) Fun Poll : Lunch

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would it be OK with you for your spouse to go to lunch alone with a member of the opposite sex?
    Yes...of course. : (113 votes)
    78 %
    No...that's not quite right. : (32 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    18646 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I trust my husband and don’t have any reason not to let him go out with work friends who are women.  It would be sort of hypocritical of me since I work with mostly guys and have gone out with a group of them on occasion.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Of course!  He’s also allowed to go out to dinner with other women if it’s just dinner.  I’ve gone out to dinner or movies with male friends (my fiance hates fantasy, scifi, and action movies, so when I want to see one of those I call up a guy friend of mine who is not a big giant snob like FI).

    I’m pretty non-jealous as these things go.  I know he wants to be with me and I want to be with him, so why restrict who we can hang out with non-romantically.  It also creeps me out when people do that because I’m bi and feel like “whoa, by that logic would I not be allowed to hang out with anyone?!”

    Post # 6
    Member
    685 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2009

     I guess I have a different point of view. I do think its wrong to hang out with the opposite sex one on one. Now if it were a group of friends, or more then one other girl then I wouldn’t be so against it. If it were a business type thing where it was his boss then I wouldn’t be so against it either.

     I guess there is alot I would have to take into considaration. If it was a friend that he just felt like going out to dinner or lunch with I would feel a little awkward about it. I don’t think I could have lunch alone with another male around my age. I leave being alone with another male strictly to my husband. Friends who are woman are just fine but to me being alone with them isn’t.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1641 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Of course he have lunch with women!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1940 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think it’s fine.  I’ve even went out to lunch with an exboyfriend before, and my husband (then FI) didn’t think a thing of it.  I completely trust his judgment and he trusts mine as well.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Unfortunately the poll doesn’t offer Option C – My FI is a grown man and doesn’t a note from me (or his mummy) saying he is “allowed” to do something.

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    We don’t use the words “not allowed” in our relationship.  To me, that sounds like rules for children.  Instead, we always talk about respect.  Lunch with a coworker or business associate is totally normal, but lunch with a hot woman you know wants you is not respectful.  We both trust each other to make respectful decisions.

    Post # 11
    Member
    399 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    99.9% of the time I’d be completely fine with it.  But, it depends on the person.  If it was someone that I really did not trust or like, I would be hesitant about it.  And if it was someone he just met somewhere then it would be strange.  But I could never stop him from hanging out with a friend that’s a girl!  One of my best friends is a male, and occasionally I’ll go to dinner or lunch with him.  My FI knows that there’s nothing between us and that we’ve been good friends for a very long time.  I could never tell my FI he can’t do the same!

    Post # 12
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    MissFlipFlops, I feel the same way. 

    Every relationship is different, but with DH, I have certain reasons (and so does he) that he wouldn’t want to/ wouldn’t feel comfortable alone with another woman.  We sort of have a rule (although we trust one another- again, there are specific personal reasons for us to have this rule -private experiences) that we are not alone with someone of the opposite sex.  I don’t want to be, and he doesn’t want to be, so that’s the way it is for us.  Interestingly, he wouldn’t care if I was alone with a man, but I would care if he was.  But again, that is because of a bad experience he had that made me not trust other women (and he feels the same way.)

    Post # 13
    Member
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I agree with Mrs Green Grass that we don’t use the words “allowed” and “not allowed”.  It would depend on the woman.  There are women we know who are like his sisters, and I certainly don’t care if he goes to lunch with them.  There are other women he has class with or meets randomly and I would not want him to make a date and go to lunch with them, nor would he do that.

    Post # 14
    Member
    9057 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @JaneyD: Very well put. 

    We never “allow” eachother to do things either.  As long as his actions are considerate of my feelings and don’t interfere with our priorities as a couple he can make his own decisions.

    I would trust him to know whether a lunch was innocent or not. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    2385 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Absolutely, but we’re very open about that kind of thing in our relationship. It’s also not uncommon for me to go out to dinner with exboyfriends, but that’s the kind of relationship we have. It doesn’t work for everyone, but it works for us. 

    The topic ‘Fun Poll : Lunch’ is closed to new replies.

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