Post # 1
My fiance always hates when I tell stories about funny/infuriating, at the time things he’s done in the past, when we have people over. I find them HILARIOUS after the fact, but want to hear yours!
We had a party, I sent him and a DD to the grocery store for paper towels ONLY. Gave him a $20, said, “Bring back my change.” …He comes back with very little change. Scratching my head, since paper towels are only about $8 worth, I look at him confused…
Then, he breaks out this bag of TOTINO’S PIZZA ROLLS.
Not just any bag, a NINE DOLLAR BAG of TOTINO’S PIZZA ROLLS.
I didn’t even know they made those!
Post # 3
@missweatherlove: LOL yea i had a few those..I honestly cannot stand when were driving on the freeway he drives right behind a big semi truck..why drive bihind it when you can go around …ugh…..takes up more time when you can just pass the damn truck and go regular speed on the freeway
Post # 4
Whenever it’s really windy out, it tends to freak me out, especially if I’m driving, because the draft can literally get into the wheel wells of my car and jerk it around, even if I’m stopped at a light….so naturally, if it’s windy out, I’m likely to mention it at some point in time, to which Mr. 99’s reply will always be, “You know? They call the wind Mariah.”
URGH! I hate Paint Your Wagon! I HATE THAT SONG! And just how is that a response to what I just said???
But he just stands there with a shit eating grin and walks away singing No Name City…and I can’t get mad because it always sounds really good….ass
Post # 5
I got a haircut & dyed it darker. I REALLY HATED IT. His response “Its going to take me some time to get used to this. You look like my sister.”
1st insult: YOU HAVE TO GET USED TO THIS? ITS ON MY HEAD!
2nd insult: love his sister but she has a very masculine style (she has EXACTLY the same haircut as him!)
my hair was no where near buzzcut short (it was slightly above shoulder length!)
I CRIED… I was so mad. I know he just was not thinking when he said it. He would never intentionally say something hurtful.
LOVE MY FI: but he is the epitome of social awkwardness. The following is funny because my FI is usually a very conservative quiet person.
1) we have been dating since our teens. I think we were 19 & 20 when he asked my DAD “when we get older and move out, you think it would be OK for *** and I to shower together?”
2) My mom was coming out of anesthesia in recovery and we were looking at old photos. My mom starts blabbing about how heavy she was a few years ago, and because of the anesthesia she was talking about her breast size. FI decides this is a good time to interject that my breast size also changed when I lost weight…….. in front of my mom, dad, & grandparents.
3) playing scrabble with his mom and sister and he spells out vibrator (I think his sister was 13 at the time).
Post # 6
@SparkleBee11: Your FI sound like a trip without luggage…LMAO… he spells out vibrator that would have had me on the floor.
Post # 7
I took hunter’s safety and even though DH took it when he was very young he went with me. They went on about carrying a tweezer when you are out there because there is cactus. DH says to me, “I’ve been out hunting dozens of times! You don’t need that! It’s extra crap for your bag.”
Went hunting a month later. It was hot, we were sweaty and gross from hiking up steep hills and not showering for 2 days, and as we were sitting on a hill he scoots back to get a good look at a deer–and sits in a cactus.
There is Megz, pulling out over 100 cactus needles with the tweezer he thought was stupid to bring.
It was the worst job becuase we hadn’t showered in 2 days and my face is literally in his butt. After all is said and done we get up and start walking (well we did this several times until a cactus needle poked him then it was back to plucking) and as we get going and he’s telling me how much he appreciates me, he farts. I glare at him, he holds me close and says, “Keeps the infection away.”
It was a story that at the time wasn’t very funny, but now is absolutely hilarious and was retold by the Best Man at our wedding. Everybody about died laughing.
Post # 8
These are great. Keep them coming! (And I’m going to keep trying to think of good ones, too… mind is blank at the moment, hmmm….)
Post # 9
Funny and annoying, after 3.5 yrs together, he finally proposed….ON HIS PARENTS ANNIVERSARY. I was like ummm way to steal the show.. he says “i had no idea” They’ve been married like 32 yrs and you had no idea? LOL also, not really funny – he drives like a fkn grandma…drives me NUTS. WHY on earth are we going under or just around the speed limit when we’re in a hurry? WHY>????? WHY won’t you go around???