Post # 1
Last week FH got surgery for his broken collarbone. And other than some memorable and some of the sweet moments we’ve shared, he said some pretty hilarious stuff.
– I feel like I swallowed an elephant. With SPIKES on it.
By The Way, I tried talking advantage of the fact that he was still super dopey and tried to convince him that Germany had lost the World Cup. (He’s German). But his response was looking at me and saying FUCK OFF. Lol
Just for the sake of bringing some funny moments, an ex peed on his mom’s closet while he was super drunk. He swore he was in the bathroom. Even the next morning he didn’t believe us that he had done that.
After a friend got minir surgery, his girlfriend and dad took him to a fast food rest to have some food. He kept trying to grab his girlfriend’s boobs and trying to feel her up her skirt… At a fast food rest!!!
Post # 2
I hissed at a possum or raccoon once
Post # 3
My appendix ruptured last year, my surgeon’s name was “thor” something along those lines, one of the nurses told me that they call him “Thor” so I was about to go into surgery and he came to see me, I was doped up at the time and went “THOR OF ASGARD, ARE YOU HERE TO SAVE ME?!” Or that’s what I apparently said, I don’t remember it.
Post # 4
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
Sporty-Bee: When I got my wisdom teeth out, I apparently reiterated to my mom the following things:
-There were puppy paw prints on the ceiling of the treatment room x10
-The nurse said after about a day I coulf have tomato soup. “She said I could have tomato soup. Yeeeah! Tomato soup!!!” x100 (If you can’t tell I like tomato soup)
Post # 5
I think everything I said when I was drunk was hilarious.
Post # 6
futuremrstx: hahaha I laughed so hard at this! Too funny!!
Post # 7
I tried to fight my surgeon while under the “twilight sleep” type of anaesthesia! I don’t remember any of it, of course, but they had to knock me all the way out because I was convinced that they were trying to hurt me.
Post # 8
I was HAMMERED at my birthday party last year, and I dont remember it at all…but all of my friends told me how entertaining I was, haha.
Apparently at 1am I kept falling, and falling. So my SO took my glasses off of me, tried to get me upstairs, but I refused. So he let me be, and I was laying in the middle of the kitchen floor, with our 55 lb pit bull laying on my chest licking me, screaming “BRANDONNNNNN!!! Go find the dog and crate him so we can FUCKKKK!!” haha
To be so hammered you dont feel that fat dog of mine pushing into your chest is amazing…What did I have????
Post # 9
I offered the nurses 2 brand new mercedes after my wisdom teeth were pulled. I told them my mom would pay for it! lol
Post # 10
I don’t have anything myself that stands out. But my SO sent me this the other day and it was awesome.
Post # 11
On my 21st birthday we came home upstairs to our room (obviously I was hammered). I asked Fiance where my cat was and he said outside (as in outside the room). I thought he meant the cat was outside (he has never been outside)
“what????!! The cat is outside???? Is he lost? We need to get him!!!” All while bawling histerically.
I made Fiance go downstairs and get him to prove he was inside lol
Post # 12
My Fiance is a funnier drinker than I am. A few months ago, I had just gotten into bed after returning from a fun night at the bar, when I heard what I thought was the dog peeing in our room so I woke up in a panic yelling “NO NO NO NO!” to find Fiance PEEING INTO MY CLOSET. I told him to go to the bathroom to which he replied “I am.” He doesn’t recall the incident hahah.