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This conversation took place over a couple of days, it was so funny to me at the end.
me: So I'm thinking that I might want to do black dresses for the bridesmaids, what do you think about black and white for our colors.
Him:Black?! Why black? That is so gothic!
Me: Black and white is classy, not gothic, geez!
Him:Well, I think if all of you show up in Black dresses, it'll look so weird.
Me:Honey, you know I'm wearing white, right? The bridesmaids are wearing black, I'm wearing white.
Him: OH! that's fine, I don't care what the girls wear, I just thought you would be wearing a giant black poofy dress....that would be gothic and my parents would freak.
LOL, He's so traditional so I thought at first he was really mad about doing black and white. But then I realized he really has very little knowledge of weddings. LOL
R: So I was thinking about favors...
N: Wedding favors?? Those are just a myth! I've never had one.
R: WHAT? Did you forget to pick it up on your way out or something?
N: Nope, it just doesn't happen anymore.
R: Well they're happening at our wedding! And since I can't stand jordan almonds...
N: Oh. Are jordan almonds considered a favor??
R: *giggling* YES!! What did you think they were?
N: Just something at the table to eat while waiting for the bride and groom. Like a pre-reception snack!
LOL...I just read parts of the other thread...classic...If I remember them i'll add but here's one off the top of my head.
me: I think we need a DOC...
DH: Why? Didn't you plan the wedding already?
me: Yes but I'm not going to run around the day of the wedding like a crazy person
DH: what would you need to do the day of if it's already planned?!?!?!?
me: logistic stuff...
Dh: (utterly confused) How much is this gonna cost?
me: $550
DH: (pissed) WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! Man I need to be in the wedding business so I can rip people off...
LOL...he was so clueless about costs, weddings, pretty much everything...he was so cute :)
I love this thread. Here's one that happened tonight that involves me, FI and FMIL.
FMIL: where are you going to get ready before hand?
RR: I was thinking of getting a hotel room with the BM's and then going to the place from there.
FMIL: Don't you want pictures at home?
RR: I don't want to wear my dress over the bridge
FI: Why don't you get dressed at home, then take your dress off then put it back on at the wedding?
RR, FMIL: um....
FI: You could get ready at my house....with me....
RR, FMIL: No!
Well, here's a new one:
Me: So, I think we should go with [names photographer].
FI: I thought we were doing disposables.
Me: We are, but I want pictures of the ceremony.
FI: We'll just hand them out to everyone beforehand.
Me: Ummm...usually you just leave them on the tables for the reception.
FI: Oh, but we can save money this way.
Me: No...that's ok, hun. We have enough in the budget for both.
I couldn't believe just how serious he was about this, but he really was.
I died laughing in the original thread! My FI has been really good, for the most part, but way back when we first got engaged, a friend who DIYed her own flowers had shown me some books about flowers she bought, and I went to tell him about it.
Me: So I was looking through this book about wedding flowers, and got some ideas...
FI: [Laughing uncontrollably] Wait, wait, wait. You mean to tell me that someone wrote one entire book about wedding flowers?
I proceeded to show him the 10 gajillion books that show up when you type "wedding flowers" into Amazon. That poor sweet man really had no idea what he had gotten himself into.
Me: What do you think about registering on Sunday? We need to get started soon.
FI: Yeah, sure. Do we just make a phone call or something?
Yeahhhh, we just call the store and they know everything we want/need! Haha, it was cute though. 
FI and I had this convo when we were considering a destination wedding - which, now that we're officially engaged, can't happen b/c apparently his family would freak - but it's adorable nontheless...
Me: Babe, we should do a Trash the Dress session the day after our wedding!
FI: What's a Trash the Dress session?
Me: Well, I wear my wedding dress and you wear something nice and then we take gorgeous pictures in the ocean and on the beach.
FI: WHAT? You're going to spend hundreds of dollars on a dress and go in the OCEAN? Are you SERIOUS?!?
Me - uncontrollable laughter
FI: You know who came up with this? Photographers, that's who. And dress makers. What's next? A 'Throw Your Ring Into the Ocean and Take Some Pictures' session?!?
lol I still break into giggles thinking about it - but he has agreed that even though a desty wedding can't happen, that we can still do a Trash the Dress once we get there - although he keeps calling it a "Destroy the Dress" session
lol I love that man
Me: So if we're going to have a rehearsal dinner, it could be at this cool Chinese place..
FI: a rehearsal dinner? when does that happen?
Me: After the rehearsal
Fi: Where is the rehearsal, at [reception location?]
Me: Um, no, with the priest at [ceremony location]
Fi: No that's ridiculous that's not how they work, the rehearsal dinner is to talk about all this stuff..
Somehow he didn't realise the rehearsal was about knowing where to stand and so on, and thought we'd just invite the minister to come out for dinner with us and describe it instead. He went from denying the existence of a rehearsal dinner to insisting it was a replacement for the actual rehearsal.
OMG. These are making me laugh so hard. ChiCat, I bout peed myself!
I don't have any funny stories but I think it's bc I'm taking them all the wrong way - I need to start seeing the humor in these situations! Like this one!
FI: So, I think we can probably plan this wedding for like one, two grand? What do you think? Cool?
Me: uhhhhhhh....ehhhhhhhh...are you meaning two THOUSAND dollars?
FI: Yeah that should be enough to do it at [really fancy place], and have an open bar and a dj and everything, right?
Me: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...ahhhhh....erm...
FI: What, do you need a little more for your dress?
Me: *smh*
Boys.
The following conversation took place just before we sent out save-the-dates, and I wanted to get started on invitation wording...
Me: What do you think of this wording for our invitations?
FI: Invitations? I thought we already took care of those.
Me: No, those were save-the-dates. They don't count as invitations because people don't reply to them. They just "save the date."
FI: But everyone who gets a save-the-date will just call us right away to say whether or not they're coming.
Me: Maybe a few people will, the ones who don't understand the concept of save-the-dates [like you].
FI: Well I think it's pointless to send invitations now. The save-the-dates were enough.
Me: But the save-the-dates don't even mention the time and location of the ceremony.
FI: Why didn't you put that on them?
Me: Because they're not invitations.
The conversation went on in circles for a while before FI gave up. :)
Me: "OH MY GOD. I just realized that we aren't even going to eat our hors d'ouvres. We don't get introduced until after cocktail hour."
FI: "WHAT? That sucks. Wait, I thought I'd already be in there"
Me: "Whut?"
FI: "I thought all the grooms were already in there and you and the girls just came in." (Yes he said grooms.)
Me: "Uhh..." *Followed by explanation of how receptions work*
Rest assured, he knows he is the only groom but he is ridiculously bad at wedding lingo.
during our registry session at bed, bath, & beyond today:
Registry Consultant, while looking at a selection of baking pans and muffin tins: "Do you bake?"
FI: "Yeah, I like to cook salmon."
Me: "Umm, she means like do we bake cakes and stuff..."
FI: "Oh."
Registry Consultant and Me: "Hahahahahaha!!!!"
OK, this has nothing to do with our wedding but it was hilarious....
We were at his stepmom's house out of town. I got a horrible 24-hour bug and was confined to the bed and the bathroom. He was going to the store with his stepmom and his brother and asked if there was anything I needed. I was low on foundation makeup so I asked him to get me some. I told him to just get the same kind that I had in my purse.
He proceeded to whip out his phone to take a picture of it.
Me: What are you doing?
Him: Taking a picture so I know what to get.
Me: Just take the bottle with you.
Him: I am NOT walking around the store with a bottle of makeup!
Me: Just put it in your pocket or have (stepmom) put it in her purse.
Him: No, I'll just get a picture of it and that'll be fine.
He returns...and tells me that the photo wasn't clear enough to read what shade it was, and he DIDN'T REALIZE THAT FOUNDATION COMES IN DIFFERENT COLORS. He actually did manage to get the right shade (the palest shade it comes in, lol) but even though I was miserable, I totally cracked up.
He also said in this disbelieving voice, "Your makeup was, like, TEN DOLLARS. Is that right???" Hahaha.
Our rooms at the ceremony site (which is a public building, with tours every day) are only available for a 3 hour time period, and the building itself closes shortly after, so I've been in a state of confusion about when to take picures, what time the ceremony should be, etc....below is what happened when I tried to talk to the fiance about it:
Me: I just remembered we can't even get into the rooms to get ready until 12:45, so I don't think we'll be able to do all of our pictures before the ceremony, anyway.
Him: Why is that a problem?
Me: Because we'd have to get dressed in the rooms... and if we can't get dressed until 12:45, there's not a lot of time to take pictures before 2ish....
Him: Well, there are bathrooms, aren't there? Just get ready in there earlier.
Me: You mean, the public bathrooms? Where anyone will just be walking in and out?
FI: You could have someone stand outside and tell them to use a different bathroom.. I'm sure my sisters would love to do that!
These are great. It is good to know that my FI isn't the only clueless one! I have two of them.
FI: how big is the grooms cake going to be?
Me: Not, too big. About 20 servings. Why?
FI: I can't eat 20 pieces of cake at once.
Me: What? You don't eat the whole thing. We serve it to the guests?
FI: Then why is it called a grooms cake?
The second one, we were talking about my BFs upcoming wedding in Vegas
FI: So, I don't have to go to the actual wedding, do I?
Me: Um, yes. Of course you have to do. You want to go all the way to Vegas and not go to the wedding?
FI: Its Vegas. Ok, fine. What do I have to wear?
Me: Slacks and a button down with a tie.
FI: What? Can't I just wear shorts?
Me: Um, no. I'm in the wedding. I'm going to be in a formal dress. We can't be in pictures together with me in a formal gown and you in shorts.
FI: There are going to be pictures?
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I had to re-start this old thread, because J just had me snorting in laughter...
me: I don't think [best man C] would mind buying a suit. He needs a new one, and [his wife, MOH A] has been my only bridesmaid willing to spend more than a hundred dollars on her dress.
J: Yeah, we could do that. How much are bridesmaid dresses usually?
Me: $150-300.
J: to rent!?
Me: (uncontrollable laughter)
J: You can't rent those things!? We're going to open a rental store for bridesmaid dresses and we're going to make a fortune because no one else in town is renting dresses.