(Closed) Furious for my friend

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

You sound like a really great friend and she’s lucky to have you as her maid/friend! 🙂 I totally get the frustration too and it seems like she might have some work cut out for her with the FMIL unfortunately!

Maybe you could suggest some coping mechanisms with her?

1) If someone (FMIL) wants to dictate how she organizes her reception, she should tell them nicely but firmly that since they are paying themselves and have so many guests to consider, they will organize the program themselves in the best way they see fit for their guests/themselves.

2) Set appointments for the BMs and really talk to them if they don’t turn up: is there a problem? Are they dealing with other emotional things at the moment? Would they prefer to step down? Do they feel left out with planning because you and her are such good friends? (I’m not suggesting the latter at all, but sometimes ppl have strange ideas and feelings with being left out).

Other than that, there’s not much you can do to support her, and honestly I hear so many stories about flakey BMs; maybe it’s better to have less maids with only reliable ppl you can trust, but she really needs to take charge of it and if it doesn’t bother her (it sounds like she’s accepted it) then I guess you unfortunately need to bite your tongue (I would have trouble with that too though). The only thing I’m not sure of is telling the moms what to wear: is it such a problem to let FMIL choose her own thing? Why does she have to color-coordinate? As long as it’s not a replica-exotic dancer outfit or in white, I think maybe FMIL can choose her own dress.

Post # 4
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow it sucks she’s going through all of that. She’s lucky she has a friend like you to have her back! I definitely wouldn’t be as nice as she is being to everyone. Luckily there’s only two weeks left! I can definitely understand that it would be hard to watch everyone being so flakey and knowing it is bothering your best friend.

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