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Hmmmmmmmmm okay a few ideas off the top of my head. What if the courses alternated between italian/North American food and Indian food? Like a salad course (safe on all sides), a course of small samosas, then your chicken or veg option (which could be something like chicken parmesean or vegetable curry), and then a safe dessert like cake or you could go italian and do tiramisu.
OR what if for the main, your caterer figured out a way to do a base of chicken for instance, and then you put sauces on the table, one an herb tomato sauce, and one like a butter chicken or marsala type sauce? That way each guest could choose or try a little of both.
@bakerella: Thanks for the speedy response! First, I should've mentioned we'll likely only serve Indian vegetarian food (although ironically on the Italian side they would like a beef entree)...Samosas would be considered akin to "snack" food so for an entree that likely won't fly. I do like your thinking and its similar to what i thought i.e. 1st course - salad (safe), 2nd course pasta (safe), 3rd course - beef option or Indian-Vegetarian option and 4th- dessert (safe).
I've done a lot of reading about this and apparently it is considered more appropriate to have the "heavier" Indian dishes served such as cream-based sauces (i.e. Shai Paneer, Malai Kofta) with naan.
I like the chicken idea as well, of course I failed to mention the vegetarian Indian component so that one will be tricky.
@sheera: Personally, if I got an invite that gave me an option between a typical chicken/beef entree or a vegetarian Indian style entree, I'd go for the veg! That sounds awesome!
But with a buffet is sounds like she would still need two caterers, unless one caterer can make both
We mixed Ethiopian food and Italian food which is sort of similar. We ended up having our reception at a hotel, and the hotel was responsible for the Italian side, as well as actually manning the buffet. We hired an Ethiopian restaurant to bring in the Ethiopian food.
It worked very well for us, and the hotel was very helpful with figuring out what to do for the menu.
What if you did Italian-inspired Indian? I recently had butter-chicken pasta and strangely, over dinner we were talking about how amazing it would be to have some kind of paneer-lasagna combo.
If that doesn't fly with the parents, the alternating thing also sounds amazing!
For us (although we are both Indian, my Fi hates Indian food) we are doing one day traditional Indian, one day Mediterranean, one day African-Indian.
Just a thought :)
Wow, thank you all for your very-helpful and speedy responses.
It seems great minds think alike as I've considered a few of these options and ultimately we may have to just go with one...
Food Stations/Buffets - One set of the parents has voiced they are not a fan because the waiting in line breaks up the flow of the speeches etc. So we unfortunately can't do that one...
My best thought right now is to somehow have a caterer who can "plate" an Indian entree. I cannot think of how this might happen/work though...or what type of Indian entree it could be. That way all the entrees could come out together.
The other thought I had is to bring out Indian food family style at the same time we serve the beef and to do with those tables where mostly Indian people are sitting. My only issue there is what if someone at a non-Indian table picks the Veg-Indian option...somehow we'd have to still plate the food for them...
Bah, it just makes me want to give up on trying to do the reception together. :(
Problem is my parents insist that their Indian people will not be happy unless they're eating Indian food...
OK here's another crazy thought. I don't know how big/formal your wedding is, but what about family style serving, where things are on platters on the table, and guests can help themselves, to whichever tehy prefer, or both?
You know I went through that same situation a couple of months ago. My fiancee is American and I am Indian. Fiancee & my parents LOVE indian food, and ofcourse my parents said our guests would prefer Indian food. The more we stressed about it, they worse it got. Finally, it turned out the guests on his side said everyone would love to try Indian food, as most are very sheltered and would be too nervous to go to a Indian Restaurant and try it. We orginally got catering through our facility, and were going the indian fusion route. Instead now we are doing like south indian food (Masala Dosas/Chaat) for the pithi/sangeet night and Traditional (Butter Chicken, Seekh Kabob, etc) for our Reception night. I think since your guests are aware that it is a "mix"wedding, they would be understanding of different cultural food, also vice versa. You can do Italian food one night, and Indian food another. So you make both sides happy. Most people love to come to an Indian wedding, so naturally Indian food is a given. Goodluck!! =)
I say go all Indian! Indian food is the most delicious option out there! BF and I have talked about doing Indian at our wedding, despite the fact that neither of us have any Indian cultural ties, just because it's tasty.
That being said, something that almost every Indian restaurant I went to in Japan did was a meal option. They would bring out a tray that had two small cups of different curries, a little bit of soup, a samosa, a bunch of rice, and a bit of naan. Depending on the restaurant, they sometimes had another item or two. It's the best solution to "plating" Indian food that I've seen.
For the Italians, have you considered chicken tikka masala? It's the food I recommend every time I'm with someone who's never eaten Indian before. I tell them that it's Italian food done Indian-style. I've never met anyone who didn't like it.
We'll definitely have Indian food at the sangeet, but the reception is our only catered event to which all the guests will be attending.
I definitely feel your paina bout stressing. I think I'm starting to realize its my wedding and if 100 guests are unhappy then it was perhaps their fault for not realizing that its a mixed-marriage.
His side is from a small small town allllll the way up North. Its a very meat-and-potatoes type place. I will have to explore some family style and fusion combos.
I don't get it but venues have told me family style is "WAY MORE EXPENSIVE". How can it be more than plating?!?!
I think family style can get expensive because servers have to keep coming around refilling, picking up empty bowls, etc, etc. Since not all items can go on the table at once? Indian food...buffet would be the perfect way..let them pick and choose what they want and what they don't. I am doing a detailed menu card on their table so they have plenty of time to think about what they want to eat!
Is non-veg Indian an option? If the Italian side likes meat and potatoes, why not include a (non-spicy) beef and potato curry as an option?
I don't know anyone who doesn't like Indian food. ;) Provide some options that are less spicy (not as hot AND not as flavored), and they will be acceptable to almost every palate. And to the rest... it's one meal. They can deal with it.
I wish all of you were our wedding guests. Feels like life would be much easier. :)
I think people realize they are coming to a fusion wedding so should be open to try the different dishes. The less you listen to your mum and more you listen to yourself is going to be better for you. You know both sides of the families better than your mom or any one person from one side of the family.
I am in a similar dilemma. I decided to do ALL Indian food but milder. I cannot imagine someone NOT enjoying it, especially when they don't eat it everyday. Actually Indians themselves also do not eat this on a regular basis. Who is eating butter chicken, vindaloo, and naans etc. regularly even in the Indian community!?
I agree with @Sasha2011- I think you have to do what you and your FH want! My parents gave us the same pressure when we were picking out our caterer since we have some family coming from India to our wedding. My fiance's family is from Ohio, and would probably starve to death if we served only Indian food. Since this is a union of both of our families, we explained that we would pay tribute to our background by incorporating Indian flavors into the meal.
Cocktail hour we'll be serving a mango cocktail, and they will be passing around samosas along with other passed appetizers. Instead of bread & butter, our caterer is serving naan and mini papads with three types of dipping sauce. We are serving a soup course, and doing curried butterut squash soup (but it won't say that on the menu so my FH's family doesn't know!) And we are doing a choice of entrees, one being a fish course with lentils.
Growing up with Indian food we are obviously used to the flavors, but I know a lot of people who won't try it. I would ask your future in-laws how tolerant they are to "trying new things" before you plan an all-Indian menu! Then I would use that to convince your parents that they need to try new things too :)
@Pree: Totally agree with you.
Most people I know here in the U.S. either like Indian food or hate it. A few posters above mentioned everyone loves Indian food. I haven't experienced that at all!
Take this from a woman who married an Indian last year in India. I still can only eat a few things. It's been a long, long process of me trying to learn to like Indian food. Samosas, pakoras, naan and mango lassi's are about all I really like. I will eat Tandorri chicken and can tolerate a little dal sometimes. But many people I know will not touch Indian food.
I would try to have a nice mixture of both. Just so you know, at our American wedding reception in April here in the U.S., we had two American entrees and one Indian veggie stew that all my husband's Indian friends LOVED. Many American friends/family tried it too (we had a buffet) and loved it. We gave the chef the recipe and he made it as one of the entrees to try at our food tasting and we just had him make one small change. It turned out great. He made that over basmati rice and it was a hit. We also had samosas as one of our appetizers.
I would just try to combine both food options as best as possible so that everybody can choose what they are comfortable with. At the end of the day, though, remember you can't please everyone. Just choose the foods you and your FI want the most. :)
So we're having a similar wedding (he's south Indian, I am Iranian, although ultimately both of us are more American than anything else). Our rehearsal dinner will be American food, and for the Mehendi, which is also the night before, we are having only Indian and Iranian pastries/sweets. For the wedding, we are having passed American appetizers. For the dinner, we are doing family style. One big plate of rice at each table with 2 types of curries (veg and lamb), and 2 types of Iranian entrees (chicken and beef) that also go with rice. We are having typical house salad and rolls for each table. We simply wanted to offer traditional food for our guests to try, but also have a number of more familiar items in case people did not like the Indian or Iranian. Originally, we also had issues with parents wanting their side to be 'represented' more, but over time they mellowed out quite a bit.
Keep in mind that if you do an all-Indian menu, to be fair to the other side, you may have to do All-Italian something else. It may just be easier to convince the families that you can serve both. We also had trouble finding a venue that would let us cater from two different places, so we're doing it at a convention hall. Most hotel venues make you use their kitchen/menu.
Good luck!
I actually put some long and hard thought into it and came to a similar conclusion that Pree did. We're going to mix it up and just try to incorporate both.
Now the big challenge is the structure! I want to cry! We have to do a Friday wedding (no dates left) so there is almost no way to do the Indian ceremony except if we do it the week before!
Sheera, I've been to a couple of Indian fusion weddings (one of my best friends, a south indian teetotaler vegan is married to a russian who loves smoked fish, cheese & wine LOL). I'm not sure how helpful this is to where ryou are in your planning right now, but here some menu suggestions that might be doable by a good indian caterer if you go that route.
For cocktails,
• try to find some unusual samosa fillings, not just plain potatoes & peas but something like spinach & paneer, or minced lamb & apricots which are good mildly spiced options.
• single mouthful chaat papri (cold yoghurt potatoes & chickpeas) on a flour crisp or in a large tablespoon. Guests can add their own chutney if they want it spicy.
• fried fish pakoras (like tempura) but made bengali style with besan (gram flour) coating. Also paneer pakoras for the vegs folks (the caterer should be able to make these non-spicy i.e. an indian version of mozarella sticks or just go with the italian version).
• mini cocktail pizzas made with a naan base (maybe with mushrooms or peppers etc).
• soup shooters (tomato, or lentil or squash puree, non-spicy should be fine here too)
If you can get away with offering a non-veg entree, rather than a spicy tandoori chicken or heavy curry, offer something like moghlai style grilled chicken breast with a cream, cashew & pistacio crust (its not spicy). Tandoori spiced fish (salmon or white fish) can be really good too & then maybe one other Indian veg option (like kofta or paneer). Add rice & a veg for a plated entree if you can't do a buffet. A good indian caterer should have no problems with the chicken & fish options.
Dessert at least should be straightforward! - cake, fruit, italian pastries or cookies & indian mittai or maybe mango sorbet. HTH!
Hi Sheera!
We are having a similar problem (Catholic Italian vs. North AND South Indian), so we're splitting them up. Italian welcome dinner, Indian lunch, mediterranean dinner. Everyone gets something. And all except welcome dinner will be buffets because plated/family style just gets incredibly logistically complicated with veg, non veg, Indian, and non-Indian guests.
It's not a perfect solution, but it's the best we can do without serving food that is actually offensive to some (Indian 'fusion').
Sigh.
Good luck, though! I'm sure now they have strong opinions, but on the day will hopefully just relax and enjoy things as they go.
Oops -- just wanted to add that YES, our venue choices were super limited because we chose to bring in Indian food. It was a pain, but there you go.
Wow, thanks so much these are all super-helpful. We're still in the venue-booking stage and wedding-structuring stage (which makes me so nervous cause we're planning for late summer 2011)!
I've taken some of these ideas and my venue says they can work them in. We haven't booked yet, but I think we're getting close. We were trying to do everything in one day and just had a ton of pushback and recommendations to do them two separate days. Hence I think we're doing the Indian one the sunday before and the Italian/"catholic" one on the friday starting at like 5 and leading right into the reception.
I just want to get this brutal figuring-out stage out of the way as its so tense and stressful!
Sheera,
I'm hindu and my fiance is jewish, and we just got married in November. We ended up having a south indian vegetarian lunch, but for the reception we faced the same dilemma.
What we ended up doing was having an outside caterer do an indian plated meal, and having the hotel do the rest. In the invitations we offered our guests the following choices:
Chicken, Salmon, or Indian vegetarian.
The hotel accommodated the outside caterer for dinner as long as he brought his staff to plate his own food. The menu for our event ended up being:
- Chaat Or Ceviche
- Salad
- Entree: Veggie briyani with okra, eggplant, chickpea, served with naan and raita
or
seared chicken reast in a shallot sauce
Or
Herb crusted salmon
- Cake for dessert!
If you want the full actual menu or any details, feel free to message me!
My fiancee is Chinese and I'm Punjabi. Our dilemma is that some of my family, including myself!, have never eaten completely traditional Chinese food, and some of his family have never eaten north indian food. Our compromise is doing traditional north indian food for the Sangeet, a vegetarian Punjabi lunch after the ceremony, and then a 10 course traditional Chinese banquet for the reception. That way everyone gets to try a bit of everything!
I went to a Cubian/Indian wedding and they did International Stations. So, they had a buffet for Cuban, Indian, and CA Cuisine. Everyone seemed to love it and the vendor offered all the entres. I can understand that it may be tough to find such a vendor everywhere.
Hello!
This might be too late for you, but could help others. Find a hotel with a talented chef (or team of chefs) and submit traditional Indian recipes to them. This can be the vegetarian option for all the guests. Most vegetarians like Indian food, so you should be OK. Tailor the food to your family's preferences: my husband is Punjabi (born in Toronto), so I submitted my (well, MIL's originally) Aloo Gobi recipe to the chefs, and for the tasting they developed a plate that ended up being "Aloo Gobi Chole" (potatoes, cauliflower, and chickpeas) with whole wheat pooris, basmati rice, a small salad of onions, peppers, etc, and raita. Also, our bread for all the tables included pappadom and a naan-like (not quite real naan or roti) flat bread.
Unfortunately, my mom insisted on having beef in the main course entree (a surf and turf of beef and lobster), so most menu cards listed this as the main dish. However, the menu cards for all of my husband's family's tables listed a chicken entree instead (for, uh, obvious reasons). This chicken wasn't Indian, but was pretty flavorful, so that it wouldn't taste too bland. Guests with either version of the menu cards (which included starter and salad courses, which were mostly vegetarian but could easily be made completely vegan for those requesting) could order the vegetarian Indian dish. His family loved it! It is critical to try it at a tasting though, because you will probably need to ask them to tweak it.
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Hi folks,
So I'm looking for some helpful suggestions with planning my wedding. My fiance is Italian and I am East-Indian. The one preference we both have is for extremely good food. My parents have decided that our Indian guests will ONLY appreciate Indian food and this is making things incredibly difficult as the Italians do not actually eat Indian food and also want their guests to appreciate good cuisine. The other problem is taht Indian food is usually priced at a more reasonable level whereas high end North American food will likely run us around 150-200 per person. Does anyone know or has anyone been to any Indian fusion weddings whereby they might be able to offer suggestions to solve this dilemma? I've considered Indian-fusion or Indian-inspired but my parents have firmly told me that will not fly. I've also considered 2 caterers but that limits us to picking a venue which allows outside catering (also difficult). At the end of the day I'm at my wits end with figuring this out. I was thinking maybe I could find a creative chef who could somehow develop a plated Indian meal...cause we can't have some people do buffet or family style and some not... I dunno, any help would be appreciated...
Thanks!