- 3 years ago
Hi bees, I’m hoping to get some advice on how to handle one of my BMs. I have 2 BMs, and before FH and I decided on our wedding colours, I asked my BMs if there was a colour that they absolutely did not want to wear. One of my BMs replied with a ‘you’re the bride and I want to wear whatever colour you want’, and my other BM replied with a ‘anything but red’ (which I never would have chosen anyway, so that’s fine.) Ou venue is quite nice but we are having a very small and casual wedding.
So FH and I decided on mint and pink (not fussed on the shades of either of those colours, and don’t mind which of the two colours my BMs pick- they don’t have to match!) and my easy going BM responded to this by squealing and setting up a pintrest board for inspiration. 2nd BM… Well when I told her the colours we had chosen, her response was literally ‘well that’s fine, as long as you don’t expect me to wear either of those colours.’ I must admit, I was a little shocked? I’ve been BM four times before and not once have I ever questioned the bride’s choice, even when I hated the colour or dress. I explained that it could be varying shades of either of the colours, but the answer was still a nope. Then when we were chatting with her mother, she told her the wedding colours and that her dress wasn’t going to be either of them, to which her mother responded with a ‘well the BM dresses usually match the wedding colours but as the bride you really need to consider what suits everyone.’ I just changed the subject with both conversations as I needed to digest this response, but I’m going to have to speak to her about this asap.
I just don’t feel as if either of my BMs will look bad in either colour? Maybe they aren’t BM 2’s usual style but is that something I should be taking into consideration? I had a chat with FH but he’s not sure what we do from here. We chose the colours we have as pink is my favourite colour, and green is his, and we wanted the pastel look for the day.
Do I put my foot down now, or suggest another colour for her? I was trying to think what else goes with the colour scheme, as the venue decoration has quite a bit of gold in it (which I 100% know she would say no to), so I was thinking maybe light to medium grey? Or maybe even a more jungle green? If I offer her gold, grey, or green options (if you bees think they would compliment and not clash?) and she says no, I just will be at a loss at what to do. If she’s not going to work with me on this, then is it bridezilla of me to say something along the lines of ‘you have to pick a dress or I will pick one for you’?
(Btw, I’m putting $100 towards each of the BM dresses- I doubt it will be more than $100 but if it is then I’ll just have to ask them to pay the difference, which I think is reasonable, right?)
Any advice would be wondeful!