- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
Background: My fiance proposed last Christmas (2008) and we decided to have an 18 month engagement. I’m 23 and he’ll be 24 by the time the wedding come (July 3, 2010). He works in the IT field and is finishing up classes towards his bachelor’s degree. I’m a Doctor of Pharmacy student and work some too. Needless to say, we’re pretty busy with life…
So, my fiance’s youngest brother is 19 and has a baby that will be 18 months old by the time our wedding comes. He has basically decided it’s not important to obtain at least a GED and doesn’t really hold a job. The baby’s mother (who is also 19) recently quit her job because it was “too hard” and isn’t really pursuing any other jobs. My fiance and I don’t agree with the choices that they are making, but try to visit them, buy the baby things, etc. The rest of my fiance’s family isn’t very fond of the girlfriend.
Well apparently FBIL proposed to his girlfriend a few weeks ago – fiance’s mom slipped and mentioned it (apparently she wasn’t supposed to). My fiance asked his mom to mention that since we have been planning our wedding for a year, it would be nice if our wedding was first. (My fiance’s also the oldest and I think he is a little disappointed that we weren’t the first to have kids so he is hoping that we could get married first… sounds silly, but I think it’s a bit true.)
So…. Christmas comes and FBIL is ill and is not at the family party. Another family member comments to me about the date of FBIL’s wedding – 4 DAYS after ours!! We were planning on going on a honeymoon that week!! It’s now been over a week since we found this out, and we called his brother twice and left messages for him (how are you? give us a call back. happy new years, call us, etc) and he isn’t calling back! Apparently they are getting married on the Wednesday immediately following our wedding by a JP and then having a party on Saturday – the following Saturday after our wedding, when we are to be out of town!
We thought about telling the brother now that if they move forward with this date, we just won’t be there. We put a lot of thought into planning our wedding date – we checked with both families regarding multiple dates, and made sure there were no major conflicts. Obviously they didn’t do the same. In addition, we are doing the whole “big wedding” thing – the minister, dress, cake, photographer, 100 guests, etc. We’re working really hard to plan our wedding (especially considering I have to devote so much time to my Doctorate degree!) Why would they have their wedding 4 days after us?!? And it’s they are having it done in the courthouse! I would rather they just get married before us (like a month or more before us) instead of 4 days after us!!
We don’t want to cause a rift between us and my fiance’s brother, but we want to go on our honeymoon! It seems crazy that my fiance not attend his brother’s wedding, especially since his brother is supposed to be in our wedding as a groomsmen. We are really busy with school and work, and taking time off for the honeymoon right after the wedding was the most feasible and we have already looked into locations and are just about ready to book something. What should we do??