Post # 1
Im so tired of his family right now, i need a place to bent. I need some support from my fellow bees.
His sister and his brother in law decided that they could dig a huge hole in her parents back yard. First off, they dont live there, and seondly they didnt ask. Well his mom called me and asked me to see what was going on. So i asked if something happened and their friend gave me the run arround. So I straight up asked what was in the hole, and the guy came back with ” i wish it was you.” I wanted to freak! I dont know this guy so how dare he! Then both my fsil and her husband liked the comment!
I was livid! i was her only friend and weve had plenty of problems in the past. And my FPIL have asked me to be nice time and time again and i have. But every time i let my gaurd down, it seems like something like this happens.We got into a fist fight about 3 years ago and stuff just seems to go in a cycle and i cannot take it anymore.
After all that on thursday, i worked this saturday, and they went out of town to visit reletives. I told my FI that i didnt want her at our house, and when i got home, her car was outside of my house. I was pretty mad, so i called my FI and said that i didnt want her in the house. A few hours later, they got back and she sat outside for a while. I went upstairs with his mom to get something she printed off and at that same time, FSIL walks in the door right after FI. I was really really mad!
FMIL talked to me about it upstairs and said that i should let her appologize! and i said i dont want to hear anything from her and that i wanted her out of my house! Well FMIL decieded to switch sides right there and started to defend her daughter when her daughter was the one in the wrong! i didnt ask her to apologize FMIL did.
I just dont know what to do. i dont want her at the wedding becuase im just sick of all the bull shit! Help please. i need some input.
Post # 3
I would try to stay out of family issues in the future. If FMIL asks you to look into something I would simply decline. It is really between them what goes on at FMIL house.
As far as allowing her in your house I would give her the chance to apologize and move on. Unless your FI is willing to cut her out of his life it is going to put a strain on your relationship.
Post # 4
@Mrs.T To Bee: It was not right what was done but here is where you have to decide which battles you are willing to fight and what you want to let go of…..
Post # 5
I just cant take anymore! i just wish that we could have just stayed okay… Ive tried my hardest and i really dont want her at the wedding because i know she will try to make me upset!
Post # 6
I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little confused by this. Why were they digging a hole? And why would FMIL call you about it?? And did your confrontation about the mysterious hole happen on Facebook? And what’s this about a fistfight?! Maybe my reading comprehension skills have gone down the drain, but I CAN discern that it sounds like there are a lot of different issues at play here. I agree with others that you should probably distance yourself from this crazy family and *definitely* don’t engage them on Facebook (if that’s what happened). You should also make sure you’re on the same page as your fiance about your involvement with his family, since it doesn’t sound like that’s the case.
Good luck with everything!
Post # 7
@mckernae: FPIL live far away and they still have a house in town. They were digging a hole because one of their giant snakes died and they didnt know what to do with it. So she wanted me to check it out because i live close. Weve had alot of things happen between us and the fist fight happened because of one of her freak outs.
mrskesslertobe: I just want to have her out of my life, and ive told FI this and he says he doesnt blame me. She has caused so much stress in my life and i shouldnt have to deal with this crap all the time.
Post # 8
@Mrs.T To Bee: Ah, ok, that makes more sense. Here I was, imagining that they did a mob hit on someone and were trying to bury the evidence. LOL.
I would have a serious chat with your fiance about what is and isn’t acceptable for both of you in terms of your relationship with your in-laws (parents & children). For one thing, you should not have been responsible for finding out what the hell was going on with this hole. Your fiance should’ve been the one to step in and contact his siblings, and then contact his mother about it. If something like that arises in the future, I would pass it off to your fiance since it’s not your obligation to step in. You should talk with him about what you are comfortable with (him spending time with his sister without you, perhaps), and what you aren’t comfortable with (him bringing his sister home when he agreed not to, you having to spend time with her, etc.). If these boundaries are crossed, then your issue is with your fiance and not your in-laws.
Post # 9
@mckernae: I know! It should have been his job to do this, but he wasnt home cuz he was at work. I dont want him to not have a relationship with his sister, but i want nothing to do with her! i agree that i need to pass this stuff on to him from now on.
and we did have a long talk and he no longer expects me to have a relationship with her. And he now understands that i dont want her here and i dont want her around me. I know ill have to see her sometimes but im not going to go out of my way to be nice. Im just going to ignore her.