- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Backstory: I’ve been with my SO 16 months, will be getting engaged sometime in the next 6 months. I feel like his family has made a pathetic attempt at getting to know me. I actively have tried to get to know them but often feel like they don’t even notice. And when I have expressed how I feel to them its al “Oh we have been getting to know you! Don’t be silly!”
So, after 16 months, why don’t know you the first thing about me?!?!?! Grr!
SO’s mother and I had a massive fight when we were staying with them after Christmas (we live 1200km away) about this issue. His parents think I’m immature and pushy. I admit I can get a bit excited about thinking about marrying their gorgeous boy! but pushy? No way! I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve said to SO to only ask when HE is ready and not to feel pressured because I’m ready.
SO’s father doesn’t seem to know how to talk to me, despite the fact his own daughter isn’t even 3 years older than me and even went to the same university studying the same thing.
So this brings us to tonight…
My SO’s sister is in town tonight for just one night and had a quick chance to catch up with him. She said (to him, she doesn’t deign to talk to me) that she’d rather catch up with just him but I’m welcome. In other words, saying she doesn’t want to catch up with me at all (I at least know that much about HER). We found out on Friday or Saturday that she’d be in town, so on Sat I sent her a message saying “if there’s anything I can do to facilitate you two catching up, let me know”. She saw it (I know thanks to Facebook’s stalkerish ‘seen’ feature) but didn’t reply. Then she texts him tonight asking if he has wheels. (I have a car, he doesn’t)
Did she not take in my message at ALL?????? She really doesn’t seem to acknowledge my existence. And her husband is worse. He definitely ignores me. At Christmas I made an effort to talk to him and he didn’t acknowledge it at all. I feel their behaviour is appalling but when I ask SO to say something he sighs and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t. What should I do???? 🙁
Also, I realised today that I’m older now than she was when she got engaged, so if I hear any more “oh you’re so young out of her” I don’t know WHAT I’ll do! Gosh I wish his family would just accept that I’m not going anywhere and that they should get to know me 🙁
Mybe this post should be in emotional, but it is also (future) family. Bees, I’m just feeling a little lost and frustrated and want to know does it get better? What can I do to try to change this unpleasant situation?