(Closed) Future Father In Law Tux Issue

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Spud8610:  What would he be willing to wear?  A suit?

Post # 4
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

What does he want to wear? You may have to give a bit. The day will still go smoothly and look nice even if he isn’t in a full tux. Would he be comfortable wearing maybe slacks, a button up shirt, and a vest? Is it the tight neck on shirts that he doesn’t like?

Your Fiance should talk to him, with a real intent to understand his objections and what makes him comfortable, what he would wear in his ideal world. Don’t go in with the intent to force him to your way, just go in with the intent to understand. When you understand his motivations, it is easier to find an alternative you’ll both be happy with.

Maybe he’d be willing to wear the tux or a suit for the ceremony and photos if he can change for the reception? Maybe he is worried it is really uncomfortable and going to Men’s Warehouse and trying something on will show him that the pants are adjustable and not uncomfortable?

One concern for my stepdad is he has VERY hard to fit feet (short feet and VERYVERY wide), and he was worried about the tux shoes.

You’ve got to have your Fiance talk with him in a caring way so you can find a happy medium.

Post # 5
11343 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I chose full dress tails with white vest and white tie (think Presidential dinner attire) for my Darling Husband, all the groomsmen, and the two dads.  At first, my father-in-law, who is rather on the short side, did not like the idea, because he said he thought he would look like a penguin. He planned to just get a regular tuxedo instead.  However, much to my surprise, when he went along with Darling Husband and DH’s sons to get measured for tuxes, Father-In-Law had a change of heart and decided he didn’t want to be the only one not wearing the full dress tails. 

Perhaps if your Darling Husband and his brothers (if he has any and they’re in your wedding) take your Future Father-In-Law along with them, he may be more inclined to go along with the group.

Post # 7
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Spud8610:  Could he at least wear a nice dark colored suit? That could be a good compromise between going too casual and refusing to wear a tuxedo. Maybe he hasn’t worn a tux before and you could put him at ease with your Fiance taking his father with him when he goes and looks at tuxes! I am sure that he may change his mind…especially if you are in the early stages of planning! =)

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