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So frustrated...

Future Husband has a lot of sisters

posted 5 months ago in Bridesmaids
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    areimer22    November 9, 2013   NJ

    Ok Ladies,

    I am getting married and trying to figure out my bridal party. I have always wanted just a few girls, because well, the more hands in the pot....the messier things are. With that said, I have asked my younger sister to be my MOH, and my 2 cousins and best friend to be my bridesmaids.

    My problem is that my FH has 4 sisters. Our budget just doesn't leave room for 8 bridesmaids (plus he only has 4 groomsmen) I'm stressing out because his sisters and I get along so well! If money wasnt an issue, I'd gladly have them in the bridal party. I don't want anyone to have any hurt feelings.

    Help!

     
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    tksjewelry    June 25, 2011   Omaha

    There are other things they can do, maybe they can do readings or usher (ette) or you could even take a moment in the ceremony to mention them.   Maybe talk to your officiant and see if they have any ideas that will fit in with your ceremony.  Good Luck!

    Welcome to the Hive!

     
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    samanthajkellie    February 4, 2012   Australia

    @areimer22: I wouldnt really stress. I would have 10 if I could but have cut it down to one. PPl understand that weddings arent cheap. I would say like the PP maybe get them to do a reading, something to include them. I have a small reading that is lovely for 4 ppl if you want to have a look let me know.

     
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    LaviniaRose2013    April 27, 2013  

    @areimer22: 4 SISTERS?!?!?  Goodness gracious!!!  I'd say to include all in the bridal party or none (unless a couple are MUCH older and/or you're REALLY close to one, etc.), but you can't do 3 and not the 4, right?  I like the reading idea!  My aunt did honorary bridesmaids, but I don't really like that personally.

     
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    SandyThePoet    May 5, 2012   Silvis, IL

    If you want one of his sisters in the wedding, ask your FI which sister he would prefer, or feels closest to. Otherwise, I would actually advise to go with someone else, another close friend of yours. My FI has 3 sisters, and 2 SILs (married to his brothers) I decided to ask his two SILs to be bridesmaids, I love his sisters, but I feel more of a kinship with the SILs, so I went with them. His sisters are going to be doing readings at the wedding, so they are still technically in the wedding party.

     
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    MissTX    May 17, 2013   Texas

    ew this is tricky. My SO has 3 sisters. One of them is only 3-4 years older than us, and we are really close. We text, hang out, talk on the phone etc. His older 2 sisters are grown...like with grown children and grandchildren already. I wasn't planning on including them in the bridal party since I only see them once in a blue moon. I don't think they would be offended....? I hope not...lol....because I refuse to have a bridal party that huge! I say, it's your wedding and you do what your little heart desires :)

     
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    PuntaCanaBride    March 30, 2012  

    I was in your same shoes, except my fiance has 6 sisters! And I have three of my own. In the end I am having none of them as my bridesmaids. I just couldn't pick one and not feel guilty and I explained that to them. We are including them in the wedding in other ways. And there was no hard feelings with that at all.

     
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    Eight6Eleven    August 6, 2011   Pittsburgh

    That is tricky. I'd ask your officiant what ideas he/she may have for jobs to give the sisters. Readings, ushers, handing out programs, singing/playing an instrument, helping with day of coordinating are some ideas I can think of off hand. I'm sure they'd understand. They may be disappointed at first, but honestly if you're all close they'll accept where you're coming from. And who knows, maybe they'd rather just enjoy the wedding as a guest instead?

     
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    cmsgirl       australia

    thats tricky.... picking bridal parties are like walking through a mine field...you never want to offend anyone. I'm the youngest of 3 sisters... and when my middle sister got married, my oldest sister (who was in her late 30's at the time) refused to be in the bridal party as she felt too old to be a bridesmaid and get dressed in matching dresses. My middle sisters solution was to get her to do a reading at the church, read telegrams/emails from oversea at the reception and she got her to sign and witness the marriage certificate. that way she was involved but didn't have to wear the matching dresses. This might be a way to include all your future sister in laws. You might also want to think about asking one to be the MC (master of ceremonies) for your reception. that way you don't offend anyone.... but having said that its your day and if you don't want to involve them...its up to you and FI. :)

     

     
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    lamkky    August 11, 2012  

    you know, when it comes to big family things get tricky.  Since you don't have the capacity for all the bridesmaids, I say don't include his sisters.  Don't pick one and leave the other one out, as it will be chaotic later on.  I feel like bridesmaids should come from the bride's side, honestly.  If you have your girls picked out, (your sister, cousins, friends...) I think it's okay to not ask his sisters to be in.  However, I would try to get them involved somehow if they are close to you (hopefully they are not controlling freaks like some of the bees' family here). 

     
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    reebee    November 12, 2011  

    His sisters do not need to be your bridesmaids, I wasn't a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding and it didn't bother me one bit.  If you want to include them ask them to do a reading.

     

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