Post # 1
My fiance recently noticed a lump and swelling in his left testicle. He went to his family doctor right away, who did an ultrasound and said the lump bothering him was a cyst. However, his dr noticed a mass in his right testicle that he was concerned about and referred him to a urologist. I went with him to his appt at the urologist today and the doctors first concern was testicular cancer. He said my FI was in the prime age group of the disease- 15 to mid 30s. He ordered bloodwork, which will give better indication of whether or not the mass is a tumor. We are also going to have an ultrasound done at a different facility to make sure the mass still shows up. The doctor said that whether or not the bloodwork shows tumor markers the right testicle will most likely need to be removed because just doing a biopsy would risk spreading cancer. Removing the testicle could lower his fertility, and if it is cancer he might need chemo. I don’t want him to go through that. I just can’t handle the thought of him going through that and I do not know what I should do to support him. I could use advice from anyone who has been in a situation like this. Just hearing the word cancer scares me. I know testicular cancer is very curable compared to other cancer, but it is still a lot to fathom. Last week, I was just worrying about annoying stuff at work and planning things for our wedding next May. Now, I am worried about my FI possibly having cancer 🙁
Post # 2
daisy92: I am sorry the two of you are having to go through this. It can be overwhelming to deal with the possibility of cancer.
There really is no other option than to take it step by step. He needs you to be with him, listen carefully, take notes if necessary, keep a running list of questions he wants to ask at the next appointment, hold his hand, give him hugs and tell him you love him.
My DH has had cancer and been through surgery. He has been given a clean bill of health.
None of us wants our loved ones to go through this, but not doing the testing and the treatment is a much worse option.
My best wishes and good luck to you and your FI.
Post # 3
daisy92: I can’t say that you don’t have cause for concern on your hands, but just try and breathe until you find out for sure. I have friend who is in remission from testicular cancer and about a year ago, he thought it came back. It thankfully turned out to be nothing. And this is someone who knew what it was like and what to feel for. He was convinced, and it was a cyst and cyst only.
Be supportive. Be proactive. Support him by just listening. Listen to his concerns, fears, etc. Don’t bring up anything to him or do more extensive research w/out him asking b/c that will just lead to more worry. Good luck, saying a prayer…
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center
I’m so sorry! I’ve been close to people who have had cancer so I know the devastation it brings. Being that it is your FI who may have it, you’re obviously going to be upset. HOWEVER, you have to remember that your FI is the one who may have cancerl, not you. Odds are he is probably more upset and worried than you are because it’s his own body and life in discussion. It’s okay to be upset and worried, of course, but your FI is going to rely on you for strength and support. My uncle had cancer and unfortunately died from it (colon, then it spread to his lungs) and my aunt was his biggest supporter – was always there for him and was his personal nurse. It is a daunting task for anyone to take on and I wouldn’t let your mind wander so far down the road when your FI’s cancer isn’t confirmed, but just realize your FI needs your support right now – being upset and visibly shaken is going to make him even more upset. I’m sending you big hugs because this isn’t something people can tell you how to take or react to – cancer, in yourself or in a loved one, is something that has to be dealt with one day at a time. Just take each day as it comes, remember your blessings, and support your FI through whatever happens.
I’m praying for you and your FI!
Post # 5
Try to remember that as scared as you are, he’s even more scared. So you need to be the strong one. Pay attention at doctors appointments, take notes as Pp said, he probably will be too scared to pay attention to the details. I’m so sorry you have to go through this just take one thing at a time, it’s not worth assuming the worst yet and getting all upset when it might turn out to be nothing. *hug*
Post # 6
I am so sorry you are going through this. Take everything day by day, and while all this stuff will feel heavy and bigger than you, don’t forget to have fun together. Laughing does wonders amidst all the stress and fear. Plan a date day and go do your favourite things, get a nice dinner, see a movie etc. it will help break the fog.
Post # 7
Testicular cancer has very good survival rates.
Post # 8
First off ((HUGGGGSSS))
My dad was diagnosed with stage 3b testicular cancer last August. (There is no stage four testicular cancer) He has been through hell and back trying to fight this cancer. He went through several types of chemo and two stem cell transplants. As of last week though, HE IS IN REMISSION!!!
It was extremely hard on our family but we decided as a family to stick together and try our hardest to stay positive. I feel like that’s ultimately what got us through all the bad. We tried to live as normal of a life as possible. I know It’s easy to let the pain and worry overwhelm you, but please please try and stay optimistic. Be as supportive as you can be to your FI, because i’m sure he is scared too. I know this is a scary time, but you will find more power and solace in taking charge of this cancer and helping your FI kick it’s ass!!!
Please feel free to message me if you have any questions or just need someone to talk to!
Post # 9
Yes it does have good survival rates. I have a business associate who had testicular cancer about 15 yrs ago. He had surgery and chemo and was off of work for a few months and has never looked back. Look at Lance Armstrong. Yes, it’s scary for both of you, but we all somehow find the strength to do what we have to do. First things first. Get the blood work. Hopefully that will be somewhat reassuring, but if not then take a deep breath and make plans for the surgery. If chemo needs to be a part of this, deal with that when it becomes a reality.
If this turns out to be cancer, there are likely support groups out there for you as a caregiver and for him as the patient and it may do you both good to be able to share your concerns and fears with others who are going through it from your perspective … there may just be some things you can’t (yet) say to each other.
Post # 10
It’s a frightening diagnosis is cancer and I’m sorry you are going through this. However, what I’d honestly recommend is trying to hold it together until you have a definite diagnosis. If your FH does have testicular cancer then be assured that cancer survival rates are vastly improved, especially for testicular cancer.
Don’t be scared of the treatment either. If chemotherapy is what is needed it is NOT necessarily the awful experience that it was only a few years ago either. Chemo is targetted SPECIFICALLY for different cancers and formulated INDIVIDUALLY for patients. Nowadays oncologists ensure that patients are not made so ill that their chemo has to be stopped because this is counter-productive.
I know this is difficult advice to follow but please, stay off the internet as much as possible or at least only use reliable sources of online information. In the UK, the Macmillan and Cancer Research sites are very sound. In the US, there are similar support groups. Do not terrify yourself by reading the reams of wildly out of date material on the internet.
Cancer is a journey that nobody wants to take. But be aware that there is support out there and also, that it is not the automatic death sentence that people so often assume. Far from it.
I am speaking from experience here. This time last year my DH was diagnosed with Stage IV bowel cancer. We truly did not expect him to leave to see our first wedding anniversary which is next week. In fact, his oncologist warned him that without chemotheraphy he had 3 months to live. However, after 9 months of chemo and radiotherapy he is in remission. There are very many other cancer survivors out there.
Post # 11
I read somewhere that when things like this happen, think of the sick person add being in the center of a bullseye. Immediate family is in the next ring (you included), friends next, the acquaintences, etc. Then reach outwards from the center for support and comfort, never inwards. I’m sitting in the ICU with my MIL at the moment & am trying to keep that in mind, since I’m extended family in this case.
It’s like they say on airplanes – you have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help anyone else, and you’ll need support too – just not from him.
Post # 12
thank you all for the kind words. I am trying very hard to stay positive and hope for the best. My FI just got home from work and was noticably down, and I am trying my best to be encouraging. I think this came at an awful time for me. My grandma just got done with 8 rounds of chemo and some radiation for cancer and it made her so, so sick. She lost 60 pounds because she could not eat anything and was so weak she could not get out of bed. I know it would most likely be different for my FI- he is younger and in great overall health other than this. It just keeps popping up in the back of my mind that he could end up like thst. also, he is very bummed about the reduced fertility possibility. The doctor did mention that today, and of course we would bank sperm if possible. It just bothers him that if we decide to have children today it might not be as easy as we planned.
Post # 13
I am so sorry you are going through this.
I just wanted to share my Uncles story, he had the same thing. He had his testical removed in surgery and stayed in remission from there. He even went on to father a child though they did have some initial issues.
If it does come back as cancer, there is a high chance it is treatable so don’t give up hope. My best wishes to you and your FI.
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
daisy92: I used to work for a urologist and so long as they caught it early, they can remove his testicle and he will live a long and happy life. Yes, his fertility will go down a bit but so long as he still has one testicle (and he survives cancer!), he shouldn’t have a problem having children. It’s disappointing to deal with this right now but the early it’s caught and treated, the higher the survival rate.
My only piece of advice is to get a scond opinion if the doctor decides to biopsy the testicle instead of just removing it altogether. Testicular cancer is a killer and the doctors I worked for saw it often enough that they refused to biopsy it unless they already had consent for the surgery to remove the entire testicle during the same procedure. They felt that breaking the “seal” on the tumor led to a higher risk of the cells moving to another location in the body causing the cancer to come back worse later.
Post # 15
I don’t have experience in this area, but sending lots of thoughts and prayers and internet hugs to you and your FI.