Post # 1
My Fiance is (in my opinion) the best guy in the world but his family is a little crazy!
His dad and mom were recently divorced, and have always had a turmultuous relationship. His mom has a restraining order aginst his dad and really does not want him or his side of the family to be invited to anything wedding related. I compleatly understand where his mom is coming from however I wish she could look at the big picture. My Fiance and his dad used to be very close and he is worried that in the future he will regret not having his dad at his wedding.
We have not had any contact with his dad over the last 6 months because of all the drama. And we truly do not want to upset his mom.
Does anyone know if it is even possible to lift a restraining order for a day? Or if it is even worth all the drama?
Opinions Please! Thanks!!
Post # 3
I think it should be your Fiance decision, i think if he wants his Dad there he should explain to his mom how he feels and hope she is understanding a wedding is for a couple of days and their issues are between them. Similar situation with my Fiance family one half does not want the other parent and family there and we told them they have a right to their opinion but its ultimately up to my Fi and if someone doesn’t like the decision he makes and can’t put feelings aside for one day then they do not have to come.
I dont think restraining orders can be lifted for the day, and I don’t know your Future Mother-In-Law but will she call the cops if your Fi dad comes? You also don’t want him to be thrown in jail for breaking the order on your wedding day!
Good luck, keep updated 🙁
Post # 4
Thanks for the support The only problem is my Fiance doesnt want to make anyone mad so his theory is to just do nothing at all, but hes not the one having to deal with guest list numbers, save the dates/invitation, ect.
Post # 5
so very typical-the do nothing approach done by many of our wonderful SO/FI/DH
I hope he makes a decision soon then, or at least goes and talk to them both to try to avoid hurt feelings and/or regrets
Good Luck! id love to see what the other bees think-hugs
Post # 6
Leaving aside the wedding, what I don’t understand is why Fiance hasn’t contacted his father in 6 months. He doesn’t need to tell his mother that he’s talking to his father.
As for his father at the wedding – I don’t know, but I’m guessing that depends on the reasons for the restraining order.
His mother should have no say in whether FI’s father’s relatives can come to the wedding.
My parents divorced after my marriage but my sister and brother both negotiated weddings by keeping them apart and trusting them to behave. But there was no restraining order to deal with there (just a lot of hate!)
Post # 7
@denvermaybride: It’s definitely your FIs decision, I think you know that. If he enjoys walking the path of least resistance then he’s going to have to deal with whatever happens as a result. He can step up, talk to his Mom, and upset her. Or he can continue going incommunicado with his Dad, not invite him, and upset him. He can’t piss and moan about it but do nothing.
Post # 8
Ya I think its time for him to bit the bullet and deal with all this fun stuff. Mostly just initiate contact with his dad, and talk to his mom about options. I just wish there was a way for me to make it easier for him.
As for why we have not had any communication with his father over the past 6 months, is that when his mom got the restraining order, his dad also did some bad stuff to us and ended up in jail for a while. However since then he has gotten some help. My Fiance and I are firm belivers in forgiveness-it might just take us a little while to get there.
Post # 9
@denvermaybride: “his dad also did some bad stuff to us and ended up in jail for a while”
Oh wow. This is way outside my experience. But my feeling is that dad has blown his chance to be at the wedding. Forgiving him (which I believe in too!) doesn’t mean he has the right to be at your wedding if he’s done bad (criminal) stuff to you, Fiance and his mum.