(Closed) Future In-Law Help!-Should the Wedding Go On?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@saleao2003:  I am sorry to hear about the Situation you are in. It sounds like the bridges with your in-laws are already burned and there isnt much you can do at this point… 🙁 Considering you have done so much already. I guess you could try pleading with them that even though they dissapprove of you and their son/brother to get married to you, they should still be there for him…. That’s probably the only way to have them attend the wedding. Sorry there isnt a better advice I can give you…

Post # 4
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Have you considered a private, romantic elopement?

http://www.intimateweddings.com/blog/category/real-weddings/elopements/

All of these stories and pictures of all different kinds of elopements really tempted us to go this route ourselves (and still does sometimes).

I only ask because it sounds like there are so many relationships here that are so strained, and (if it were me) I would be concerned about the affect they could have on what is supposed to be the happiest day of your life.  It sounds like there would be a lot of people there who would really, really against everything and deeply unhappy for you. Personally, I would not want that kind of energy around me that day.

Post # 5
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Sorry about your situation but I would feel the same if my sister was dating someone that had hidden a bad financial history and lied about where they went to college. It might not be an important lie to you, but to me it would be a huge red flag. Why did you lie? 

You have to see that they are just concerned about their son and are probably worried about your character. The only way you can mend fences is to never repeat this behaviour and give his family time to see you have changed. Maybe trying to explain why you did this in an honest heart to heart might help them come around faster. 

Post # 6
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@gingernutjo:  I feel the same way.

Also, I don’t think I could marry someone if their family didn’t love and respect me.

Post # 8
Member
1467 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@saleao2003:  So sorry to hear that 🙁 It sounds like you made mistakes but you’re willing to work on it. I’m sorry that they’re not. I would talk to FI and see what he wants to do about it (has he stood up to them for you?) they just seem like really paranoid, unforgiving people. If you and FI really want to be together his family should support him. Really, this is becoming an issue between FI and his family too if they won’t be there to support him on his wedding day, and I think he needs to address that with them, that you are part of the family now, and they have to respect that and be more welcoming to you.

Post # 11
Member
1467 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@saleao2003:  Have you tried mentioning that to them, how they are affecting his life? I don’t know if it would help, but could be worth a shot. Wow. I would say just keep telling your FI you support him no matter what, and you’re there for him, on his side, and you’ll support him as he goes through this with his family. And do that, be there for him. He sounds like a great guy!

Post # 13
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@saleao2003:  I was refering to what you said about telling people you attended a different college from the real one you studied at. Why would you lie about that? I think it’s fine for you to keep your financial issues private, as long as your fiance knows. On the other hand, can you not see how the famiy would be worried to find out you told one lie and wonder what else you might have said that is untrue? It’s quite extreme for them to carry out a background check though. 

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