- 5 years ago
My fiancé and I have been dating on and off again over the past 16 years. We met when we were 18, dated a bit. Re-dated again around 20-23, reconnected again around 30, and have been dating for a solid 4 years, moved in together after dating a year this past time…and last August got engaged. We are set to get married this October.
I am not saying my past with my fiancé, when we were younger were the best. I did date other guys along with my fiancé around 18 till my 20’s. I always broke it off with him, because I got bored or at that time I was not mature enough to deal with a real, relationship. He always was the one getting hurt. Years past, I went to college, never seen him again until 10 years later when we reconnected on FB. We went out to dinner to just catch up, and been together almost since. I personally feel, that I have always loved him even though I didn’t show it really well in the past, but I think I needed to go through life and many ‘terrible,’ boyfriends to appreciate the kind of person he is.
In any event, his sisters have never been able to like me from what had happened over the years when we were much younger. They pretty much gave me the cold shoulder at almost every event. Then something happened that for one way or another I have no idea why…but I had lied on where I had graduated from college. His sister, decided to research my background and found out that I did not graduate from the college I said I attended. I did however, graduate from college I was not honest on where I went. She also looked up my criminal record and found that I had a few collections on my records from past bills and a loan that I had troubles paying. She had exploited them, to the rest of the family which has led them to believe I have a huge financial problem and they are concerned, that my debts will lead problems for their son.
In the beginning his parents ‘did like,’ me even though his sisters have always disliked me. Until, somehow his sister looked onto my FB account and seen a post that I had made, that said, “Trying to Solve Drama, Is like Trying to Save World Peace.” It was a quote I liked and posted it. The quote actually did not have anything to do with the drama which I have been experiencing from his family. However, his parents and rest of his family believe that it was geared towards them. No matter what I say, they won’t except my apologias or believe the fact that it was not about them! They felt they were publically criticized!
My fiancé and I have tried to fix the problems with his family in so many ways. We went to counseling, invited his parents and sisters to a session. Didn’t work. I have written letters trying to apologias and ask how we can make things better. No responses. This past Christmas, his parents had asked that he ‘not,’ take me to their giant Christmas because they didn’t’ want to feel uncomfortable…then on top of it, bought me Christmas gifts?!?! I returned the gifts, with a letter which said…”I appreciate the thought of the Christmas gifts; however I would rather have a better relationship with each of you than accept these gifts.”
I have been not invited to his sister’s baby shower or allowed to come to the hospital to visit and congratulate his sisters new daughter/ my soon to be niece.
We are supposed to get married in October, his families still hates me and are saying they won’t show up for the wedding. When I asked for a list of people for dinner etc. his mother had told my fiancé she will “call people and see if they would even like to go?”
I have tried to invite his family to several wedding events, even our engagement party. They didn’t’ show up nor have they expressed any interest in helping be part of any wedding fest ivies.
I love my fiancé very much and I don’t know what else to do to make these people forgive me for the mistakes I ever have done. I have literally tried everything. They won’t talk to me, return any letters I have written, won’t attend any of the events I invite them to, or return my calls. I want them to be there on our wedding day for their son-not for me.