- 6 years ago
I need some advice on how to not let my future brother in law and his wife get under my skin…they both are very cocky and think they’re better than everyone else…they call it ‘confidence’ but it’s not. They are seriously everything I find wrong with society. They always try to make everything a competition like “boob size.” She’s two and a half times my weight, so you can’t really compare. Oh and how attractive our guys are. I am always going to believe my fiancé is the most attractive guy. End of story. Even objectively, he’s a lot more attractive. My FBIL is a “body builder.” Aka he uses steroids.
They drive me insane. Everything is about them. They got married within a year of knowing each other and act like that makes them better than my fiancé and I who have been living together longer than they’ve been together. 1. My fiancé doesn’t verbally/physically abuse me and 2. “When you know you know” doesn’t mean you should rush into getting married if you’re not ready!!! I’m still in school and he’s starting a business. That DOESN’T mean we’re less in love.
The list goes on and on. I seriously am about to cry right now. I just don’t know how to not let it get to me because they are so rude and get under my skin. I almost threw up earlier over a facebook status. SERIOUSLY. I feel like there’s something wrong with me because it shouldn’t bother me this much. I just don’t know how to let it go.
And my therapist isn’t very helpful. I’m going to bring it up with him again whenever I see him next (our schedules have been clashing), but he hasn’t had much helpful advice besides don’t let it bother you…distract yourself…blah blah blah.
But when I get physically ill, it’s hard to ignore. I just want my fiancé to stop being friends with him, but his only family here is his brother and parents (who are amazing), so he doesn’t want to write his brother off as a waste of time/energy. It’s just a part of their dynamic…his brother messes up and my fiancé fixes it. I just can’t cope right now and I don’t know how to just deal.
I would delete them from fb and stuff, except that would cause a ton of drama I don’t need. I don’t want them to make my life harder, but I can’t make my fiancé’s life harder and make him choose. It’s just not as easy as I’d like it to be and I don’t know how to deal. I just had to get it off my chest.