Post # 1
Sorry Bee’s, just need to vent for a minute. And please tell me if I am being unfair.
My FI and I have decided on a small wedding of 80 people, and small meaning that typically in his European culture, they have 400-800 people, and I have a large family of 30 first cousins.
My FI and I decided that we would be inviting immediate family and very close friends only. After talking to my parents they have offerred to pay for a majority of the wedding ( everything for the reception) while my Fiance and I will be covering the rest. My side of the guest list is Aunts and Uncles only, we will not be inviting any cousins, and very close friends. And the guest list that my Fiance came up with has all his Aunt and Uncles and his 3 cousins as they are in the wedding. My Future Mother-In-Law has thrown a couple tantrums over the fact that she cannot invite her great uncle, his wife, their 3 kids and their 6 kids etc etc etc. We have tried to explain that we only want a small wedding with immediate family only, and 80 people is all that fits into our budget and that those extra 14 people will cost an additional $2000, and yet they will not be helping pay for this wedding at all.
Are we being unreasonable with our small guest list?
Post # 3
No, its your wedding.. If you want a small one, then thats what you should have. They should understand that.
Post # 4
No. Even if you could accomodate for a bigger guests list FMIL’s great uncle and his wife wouldn’t be a priority on that list anyway.
Let her throw her tantrum, but you are paying for the wedding and that is that.
Post # 5
You are being totally reasonable. If you already said, “no, sorry” then stick to it. I dealt with a very similar issue (telling Future Mother-In-Law she can’t invite all of her friends), and once she had a hissy fit on the phone with my fiance, she never brought it up after HE firmly told her, “no, we can’t do it.”
Post # 6
I am always amazed when people try to tell you what to do with your wedding… especially when there’s a monetary amount attached to it and even more especially when it is simply something THEY want for themselves.
In my opinion people can give advice, but in the end they need to understand that it is YOUR wedding, not theirs. My “halfway” meeting point would be to tell them if they would like to pay for the extra cost then you’ll add them to the list.
Post # 7
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. I think people don’t realize how much it costs to have a wedding. It would be different if your in laws were going to pay for the reception but since they aren’t in my opinion they can’t be offended…. Good Luck.
Post # 8
stand your ground. if you and your Fiance are in agreement, that’s all that matters. it’s not only the monetary factor, because she can counter and argue with something. you want an intimate, close wedding with people you love and know. not someone’s great-great-misc relatives.
they’ll get over it. she can throw a big family celebration and pay for it and invite whoever the hell she wants.
Post # 9
She is being unreasonable. Ignore her.
Post # 10
Tell them to put their money where their mouth is. I hate when the groom’s parents try to dictate and think the bride’s family should pay.
Post # 11
Stick to your guns! Its your wedding not hers and you should do what makes you happy, 400-800 people is ludacris I cant even imagine. Fiance and I had people that were against us going away but we wanted to get married on a beach and on an island and thats whatwe stuck to. Sorry if you dont like it its our day!