- 9 years ago
My FI and I have been together for 3 years. I always told everyone how happy I was to be marrying into a family like his that liked me and that we all got along.
FSIL #2’s daughter was in my wedding and the day we were going dress shopping they arrived 30 minutes before myself and my BMS and were picking out dresses. The little girl came out of the dressing room spinning in this dress that matched NOTHING in my wedding. I didn’t want to start a fight there so I let it go. (MY MISTAKE!) Then after talking to my other BMS they all told me I was nuts for nt saying anything. In order to keep the piece I lied and said the dress wouldn’t be in on time so she could pick another dress. FSIL #2 told me thatthe 8 year old didn’t like any other dresses there (I was unaware that an 8 year old had a say in what she wore to a formal function) In the end the truth came out so they have now deemed me a liar and manipulator. I did infact lie about the dress however I do feel as though I was backed into a corner. The last thing you want to do when yu are dress shopping with 8 girls is start an argument and I was not trying to manipulate, I was trying to spare the feelings of FSIL and my future neice. But again I shouldnt have lied.
80 days before my wedding and 14 before my shower FSIL #1 started a war about shower costs with my MOH. each girl was asked for 60 to cover invitations postage and favors for the 70 poeple attending (most of which was his side)
When FSIL #1 got out of hnd with my MOH my MOH stood up for herself which FSIL didn’t like. She then turned the entire thing into an attack on me. She told my MOH that her brother marrying me was the biggest mistake of his life and that I have caused him debt and alianated him from his friends and would love to do it from his family too.
My FI was in a long term relationship for 5 years, he was burned BAD and didnt date for 4 years because of it. In that time, he was single, had no ties, no responsibility. He hung out in bars, did what he wanted and spent alot of time with them. Then I came into the picture, I own my own home and though I was younger than him, I had my own responsibilities and had grown out of that phase. As our relationship grew, so did my FI, he grew UP. He realized he might want to get dinner and a movie rather than blow 100 in a bar. My FI is a very strong man in the sense that if he WANTS to do something he WILL do it. I don’t pull strings like a puppet master. He makes his own choices.
Of course everything got back to FI and I and his family called a meeting once they found out that my FI didn’t want his sister at or in our wedding. This meeting DID NOT include me. When he went they started bashing me which somehow turned to 3 years ago at FSIL #1 bach party I apparently stole money from her and her cousin in a crowded bar with 12 other people there.
I have NEVER in my life taken anything from anyone and the fact that I would be accused of such an act with out proof other than I was the "new girl" is appalling. In addiditon how would someone ever agree to be a BM in our wedding if that is what they truely thought of me.
SO family meeting number two was called which I attended in order to defend myself. After an hour of the same nonsense the end result is that I they truely believe FMIL included that I stole money. I was crticised NUMEROUS times over refering to the wedding as my wedding rather than our wedding. I was called a liar and a manipulator and I ended up having to appologize with no appology from any of them for the stuff that was said about me and I was bullied into having both of them stand up with us on our wedding knowing how they feel about me.
My issue is. I LOVE my FI with every fiber of my being. I couldn’t imagine life without him. But how do I spend the rest of my life at family functions, and at my wedding knowing how they all truely feel about me? Is this anyway to start a marriage and if we do.. will it survive?