Post # 1
Lately FFIL has been talking to my fiance about me and said that me taking medication for my depression is like FMIL’s alcoholism, and implied that FI will be making the “same mistake” he did. Yet he claims to like me and think I’m a good person!
So, we thought about telling him that I do not take any medication anymore and then never mention it again. So many people don’t talk about their medication. Really we just have different ideas. FFIL doesn’t believe in any kind of medication for psychiatric disorders for some reason.
And we’re living with his parents right now.
I like them both, but it’s weird.
Would it be a better idea for my fiance to continue trying to convince his dad, which might not work, or to tell him I don’t take medication anymore?
Post # 3
just let the issue go. don’t say anything…it’s no business of his whether or not you take meds.
Post # 4
Don’t lie. If FFIL brings it up make sure your FH knows what to say. Something short and repeat it every time it comes up, if it does “Dad, thanks for your concern, but it is not the same. I can provide you with some research if you would like”
Post # 5
I agree with lefeymw. Show him research. Depression has to do with a hormonal imbalance so it’s nothing like alcoholism. I have depression too and most people don’t understand and never will.
Post # 6
I would lie. Depending on FFIL’s character though. Some old people are very set in their ways and you’re not going to convince them. More importantly, in the case of family I think it’s not worth trying. On the other hand I can also be very confrontational so I understand how this approach may frustrate you.
Post # 7
First of all, as another bee who takes anti-depressants, my heart goes out to you for having to deal with just another instance of the ignorance we all face from time to time. I know if I was in your situation I think my feelings would have been hurt hearing that that is how your FFIL feels.
Its a tricky situation trying to get someone to understand what depression is REALLY about and what it means when they are comparing it to alcoholism. I think lefeymw is totally on the right track. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and there is no need to lie about it. FFIL may not understand, but honestly, it’s not really any of his buisness. It’s nice that he cares about you and his son, but it’s your FI’s decision to marry you, and his understanding of you and any medical issues you have have is all that really matters.
It’s tough when you’re living with them, but I would keep on with buisness as usual. If you continue to act like it’s not a big deal that you take anti-depressants (cause let’s face it, it isn’t) then maybe FFIL might re-think things. I know it may not be likely, but you have nothing to be ashamed of, or to hide.
Post # 8
Thank you guys so much for reading/replying… I’m just trying to be super nice and positive so he forgets all about it or feels terrible about what he’s said. The subject has not come up since!
We will be renting our friend’s apartment this summer (she will be working at Yellowstone), and my uncle just bought a foreclosure house which will hopefully be ready for us to rent after that. So that will be nice. We’re hopefully moving right before Bonnaroo so less than 5 months!