(Closed) Future MIL issues!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1500 posts
Bumble bee

Just plan your wedding. Don’t give out details until you decide to make a guest list, and then figure out if there’s any room for any of her invites. If so, tell her how many she can invite, or bring it up casually that its a small, intimate, family/close friends of bride and groom wedding. Just be firm. Don’t let her invite people! 

Post # 4
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

If she’s going to be pushy I wouldn’t include her in wedding planning. 

Post # 5
7653 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

My MIL made demands on the guest list. We told her we would consider the guest list. We did end up sending to most people (we didn’t have a smaller wedding though with limited guests), but we didn’t go out of our way to find numbers and addresses for those that she didn’t give us.

I wouldn’t discuss the wedding with her anymore, even in casual conversation and if she does bring it up say that you have it under control and everything will work out. It helps if your FI sticks up for you too so that way it isn’t like you are crossing family. My SIL was a stinker during our wedding planning, and, like an idiot, I handled it myself for a long time until it became a personal issue and I had to pass it off to my DH. Best to do that right away if you have the same viewpoint.

Post # 6
8164 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d definitely get your FI on board with talking to his mother to avoid some of that awkwardness. My MIL did not contribute either, and we basically just told her you are allowed to invite X number of people, end of story. We let her trim her guest list as she pleased as long as it was under that number of people.

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