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Future Mother In Law Drama - HELP!

posted 2 years ago in Family
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  • poll: Should I tell my future MIL to change her dress?
    YES!!! : (1 votes)
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    1.
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    Newbee
    jnhayes    9/5/2010   Boston, MA

    Dear Hive,

    I need your help!
    My FMIL is a very sweet nice person, but she has a spiteful side that I've never seen until she went dress shopping!

    Here's the low-down:
    My mom bought her dress - night blue, looks fabulous on her. My bridesmaids are wearing navy blue.
     
    His mom was planning on reusing the dress she wore to my fiance's sister's wedding back in 2006. He wasn't thrilled about this as that marriage didn't end up working out, so he asked her to at least to try to find a new dress. So she did.

    Found a blue dress. (HEAD IN HANDS HERE) She hadn't bought it yet, wanted our feedback. He told her to find a different color because my mom is wearing blue

    Needless to say she was NOT happy that we asked her nicely to find a new color.
    So she went out and got a VERY similar dress to my mom's, but at least in a different color. It's the same fabric, same sheen, same styling.
     
    Now ladies, I'm asking your opinion.... what do you think? Are they too much alike?

    The 1st dress is my mom's (sleeveless), while his mom got the one with the jacket.

    Attachments

    1. Future Mother In Law Drama - HELP! :  wedding dress mother of the groom Img Jade_-_J1174.jpg (18.4 KB, 59 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Future Mother In Law Drama - HELP! :  wedding dress mother of the groom Img K2237_-_Front.jpg (32.1 KB, 63 downloads) 2 years old
     
    2.
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    Busy bee
    Redeemed Rebekah    May 8, 2010   Ont, Canada

    I think they are different enough. Sucks that you have to go through this. But it could be much worse! Since your moms doesn't have a jacket and your FMILs doesn't have as much beading . . I think it should be fine.

     

     
    3.
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    Busy bee
    marjojo    July 24, 2010   Nashville

    I don't think they're too alike. Your mom's has more beading and a different neckline.

     
    4.
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    Beekeeper
    zippylef    October 30, 2010   Norfolk, UK

    My mother sent me this story in an e-mail. I think its oddly fitting.

      HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS BITCH
             Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could 
           dampen her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce.

           Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would 
           be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!
          
           A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's 
           new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!

           Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but 
           she refused.  ''Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this 
           dress, and I'm wearing it,'' she replied.

             Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind 
           sweetheart.  I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special 
           day.''

           A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another 
           gorgeous dress for her mother.

           When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren't 
           you going to return the other dress?  You really don't have another 
           occasion where you could wear it."

           Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear.....I'm 
           wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.''

     
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    Helper bee
    judya64    October 2, 2010   connecticut

    I personally don't think they look alike at all except for the fact that they're long dresses.  Your mom's has crystal's all over the top is a v neck and has no jacket, your mother in law's hardly has any crystals has a jacket and appears to have a sweet heart neck line, and rouching.  As far as the material goes, a lot of bridal party attire use the same material.

     
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    Blushing bee
    kristij    May 23, 2010   Canada

    Nah, you're fine.  They look different for sure. Aleast your mom chose somthing classy. My mom...oh god! she looks like shes just stepped out of a trailer. She had to choose the EXACT same colors as my bridesmaids and its short and ruffled and bejeweled in the cleavage (which goes down low)...Im thinking about sneaking into her house in the middle of the night and torching it lol.  Anyways, those look totally different, so i wouldnt worry too much.

     
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    Newbee
    sassygirl60    May 28, 2011   UK

    I think they are fine! I will probably come across the same issue with my mum and MIL when the time comes. But as they are different colours i think think they are fine!

     
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    Blushing bee
    MeMe2010    August 21, 2010  

    @zippylef - LOVE that email forward!

     
    9.
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    Bumble bee
    Soon2beeMrsM    October 2010   NY

    @Zippy LMAO... great story!

    I think the dresses are different enough so it won't matter. If they were the same color it would be different but they arent, have different necklines/beading and FMIL's has a jacket while your mom's has a wrap.

     
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    Busy bee
    pendola      

    I think they are fine.  Just remember the bigger picture here.

     
    11.
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    Blushing bee
    MeMe2010    August 21, 2010  

    I think the dresses are different enough.  I think that the dresses actually compliment  each other - they'll look great in pictures.

     
    12.
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    Worker bee
    Miss Seahorse    November 2011   Boston, MA

    That's so annoying but it could be a lot worse...at least it's not fire engine red or hot pink! Those 2 colors will look nice in pictures IMO....

     
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    Honey bee
    hotchildinthecity    June 12, 2010   New York, NY

    They do not look that much alike.  I would let this one go.

     
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    Helper bee
    Marinara    08/14/2010   San Francisco, CA

    I think the dresses look significantly different.  Asking her to choose a new dress after doing that twice already ( 1-asking her to buy a new dress, not the one she wore before and 2-asking her to choose a dress in a diff color after she CHOSE a new dress) would be too much IMO.  If I were her I would feel really jerked around... it seems like she's doing everything she possibly can to keep you guys happy.  You could have told her in advance not to choose blue or a dress similar to your mom's.. and that one is quite different so I think it will be fine!  Good luck :)

     
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    Helper bee
    gvsusara    November 7, 2009   Chicago/Lakeview

    Both my mom and mother-in-law wore navy blue dresses to my wedding.  It really wasn't a big deal.  I've been to several weddings were the mothers wore the same color dress.  Nobody said anything and it was easy to distinguish the mothers. 

    I like both dresses.  Your mom is going to look great!!!  Don't sweat it.  Everything will work out :)

     
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    Newbee
    newbee bride    September 2010  

    I'm assuming you wouldn't let your FMIL reuse her original dress because of karma, but I think your FSIL's marriage probably would have ended the same way regardless of what dress your FMIL wore to the wedding! You should have laid out the attire rules in the beginning and you should have been specific. It's not fun being told your choice is not good enough, and having to keep purchasing new dresses! But don't worry, those dresses don't look the same at all. They actually compliment each other and will look nice! 

     
    17.
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    Sugar bee
    Jenniphyr    February 2, 2013   Alberta, Canada

    I think both the dresses are beautiful, and I don't really understand why your FMIL can't be in blue if both your bridesmaids and your mother are. It just seems weird to me, like you want her to stand out/don't want to involve her. (I don't think that's your real intention, but that's what it seems like you're doing, to me.) As for them being similar (and I don't really think they are) I've never understood the whole "OMG she's wearing the same dress as me, how horrible!" thing. Uh...it just means you have good taste?

    If your mom doesn't care, don't worry. If she does, let her deal with it on her own.

     
    18.
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    Buzzing bee
    Magenta    July 31, 2010   Springfield MA- Wedding in PR

    @zippylef that is so funny. i will be like yeah mom. 

     

    about the dresses i dont think they look alike. i think they are different

     
    19.
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    Worker bee
    wulfin    May 8, 2010   Calgary, AB

    I'm in the same boat as everyone else.

    My mom and FMIL are both wearing black and my BMs are wearing black, so for me it's a non issue (my FMILs top even has more bling than my entire dress too!!)

     
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    Blushing bee
    AllynK43    October 9, 2010   Knoxville, Tennessee

    They're actually not that similar, and they're different colors, so I think you'll be fine.

     
    21.
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    313 posts
    Helper bee
    sessaj    October 23, 2010   NL, Canada

    @zippylef: LOVE IT!!

    I think they're different enough, but definitely think your FMIL is being unfair!

     

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