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I would ignore her (the southern way, haha!) because you'll be gone soon and it seems like you won't have to deal with her much once you move. If your fiance suggested you leave it alone, and that's his mother, then I would comply with his wishes.
Hopefully once there is distance between you and he's actually gone, she'll ease up on all of this "taking my baby boy away" crap. I had to deal with a bit of that too, and it eventually stopped when she realized that it wasn't going to get her anywhere.
Still, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. But - I'm glad you guys get to go to Minnesota. If she won't travel to Raleigh to see you from the same state, she sure as heck won't be making any surprise visits in Minnesota, lol! :)
I wish you luck with all of this! :) Keep muttering three more weeks, three more weeks....
I would ignore it!
Her actions are NOT going to change yours and your FIs choices so let her be and soon you will be far far away!!!!
I too will ignore it. You still have the rest of your life to deal with this woman. Pick your battles. My FI's mom also is not fond of me, I will say. He is from Minnesota and is here with me in Texas so yes, I get a lot of the "you are taking my boy away from me" and she complains about how much time he spends with me and my family and how he always takes my side. So honey, I totally understand. She is just feeling insecure that now there is another woman in his life that she will have to contend with. Poor woman. Just leave her be to let her see that you are there for a good long time and it will pay off to be nicer than not. Also, you really don't want to put your FI in a bad position having to pick between his mother and you (of course he will pick you!). So just leave it be.
Another vote for ignoring. Your fiance is a grown man making his own decisions, and she needs to just get over it.
I say ignore it too. Saying anything is just going to cause more of a mess. Sometimes in laws can be a pain in the butt, so for the next lil while suck it up and know you guys will be happier in the midwest soon. Good luck!
I would also ignore it...just go on like always. I think that confronting her may cause some unnecessary drama. You will be back to Minnesota before long and live happily ever after (except for holidays hehe)!
How does FI act when she is rude to you? Does he defend you? Does he put his mom in her place? Does he explain the move was a joint decision and you aren't kidnapping him or forcing him to move?
I think you need to talk to FI (if you haven't already) and explain that his Mom's recent change in behavior and the way she now treats you is horrible and it makes you feel unwelcome, etc. Have FI stand up to his Mom if she isn't playing nice. That way you aren't the bad guy.
Good luck!
In this situation I would put on my best smiley face and be as sincere as possible because you are moving in 3 weeks.
What is done is done - you are moving and she said some nasty things about it. Getting into an open confrontation will not make any difference in the situation and will only make things more dramatic and worse.
don't listen to this woman. She has poor judgement. I mean, how can you really make it okay living with SOMEBODY ELSE'S husband and pretending to set up family with a guy already married? Try to avoid any pre-wedding confrontation at all cost imho.
I would do as Laylabelle suggested (and I take the southern approach most of the time btw) and just say nothing or bite my tongue unless I am directly confronted.
It's really good that you and your FI will be moving to your home area and that your family is so loving and supportive of you both.
Hey ladies! Thanks for all the wonderful encouragement!! I've had a day to calm down and realize it's not the end of the world.
And I hope I didn't offend anybody by calling it 'the Southern way' - I guess being from the Midwest, I find myself being direct more often than not. But I agree the best thing to do is just put on a nice, happy face, kill her with kindness, so to speak. Spending some time packing this weekend helps too - we are leaving SO SOON!!!
Thanks again, gals. Ya'll rock. :)
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Hey gals (and guys), just need a quick rant and some advice. I'm originally from Minnesota and moved to South Carolina after I graduated college to persue an awesome career with a healthcare staffing company. Within a few weeks of being in SC, I met my fiance, and knew he was "the one" right away. We relocated up to Raleigh, NC 7 months later for a promotion (for me). His family is from NC and they were OVERJOYED for us to move back. We've been here for about 1 year/8 months.
Now let me explain, his family is a lot different than mine. He has 3 sisters, and 2 of them are from different fathers. His current step-father has a whole other secret family (like, he is still married to another woman besides my fiance's mom); his mom opened credit cards in his name when he was in college, she lives in this $1million house but can't afford groceries, and they live about an hour away and have NEVER come to visit us in our house in Raleigh. Needless to say, they are a hot mess.
His family has always been nice to me until we decided to relocate to Minnesota, which has been my original intention all along (the house are renting is foreclosed on, both of our jobs will let us transfer to Minnesota, and all of my family and friends are there) - my family LOVES him and treats him a million times better than his OWN family. That said, his mom has recently said some really hurtful things about me - having 'reservations' about me, and I'm taking her 'baby boy' away from her. (Fiance is 26, by the way.)
When he proposed, my fiance knew that it would mean eventually moving back to Minnesota. He said that was one of his considerations before he asked me, and he has told his family numerous times our intention to move back to Minnesota, it's something HE wants just as much as I do!
We only have about 3 weeks until we move to Minnesota, and we'll be seeing her 2-3 more times before we go. My question is, should I...A. Act like nothing happened (that's what fiance says is the "southern" way)B. Put her in her place?or C. Avoid her and stay home 'sick' for the next few weekends?
As it relates to our weddinig, she will likely be traveling back to Minnesota next June for our wedding, so it's not like I will NEVER see her again. We will travel back to North Carolina to visit for holidays, etc. Thoughts??