Weddingbee boards

This weekend, my aunt threw me a shower.  My FMIL, her two sisters, her daughter and her sister's daughter all attended.  We played 3 games, then ate some food in two sitting areas and then opened presents.  I ended up sitting in the one area during food with my high school friends, sister and cousin.  Some of my other friends, my other sister, my FMIL and her family, and my fiance's stepmom and stepsister were sitting in the other area.  My mom, aunt and aunt's mom were moving around setting out food.  Unfortunately I didn't have a lot of time to mingle, though I guess I could have gone over and talked to them more than I did.

Today she called my fiance at work and told him no one at the shower introduced them to anyone else (I know at least 3 people WERE introduced to them).  I did not avoid doing this, there were just a lot of people there and it was very overwhelming.  The other guests introduced themselves to each other.  Instead, she and her family sat in the corner and only talked to my fiance's stepmom and stepsister that they already knew, rather than trying to talk to other people.

Now she wants to meet, just the two of them, to talk.  She added to this, "We're ok, right?"  I guess she thinks I hate her!  If anything, I've always felt it is the other way around.  She has said many things in the past about me including that it was my fault he didn't do well in school (WRONG he did worse before we met), insulted my mother's job, insulted my future job (she constantly rants on about how she hates teachers), and made various uncomfortable comments (such as asking us multiple times not to have sex at her house, which we never have or would).  She is very snobby about careers and other such things, and I feel like she thinks I am not good enough for her son.  I also have a really hard time being close to her because she treats my fiance badly.  She puts him in the middle of her issues with his dad, and often expects him to jump through hoops for her.  He does not like his family very much and often complains about how they treat him, but hates conflict and does not tell them this.

I have no idea what to do.  These situations make me incredibly uncomfortable.  She is a very cold, unemotional person and I don't feel like I could have a real heart-to-heart with her.  What do you think my fiance should say in their 'meeting'?  He is the first person I've ever been with whose parents didn't love me.

Now my fiance just said that he feels like he is in the middle again, like he was during his parents divorce!  Who should be dealing with his mom, me or him?  I would deal with my mom so I feel like it should be him.

That sounds like a good plan, hopefully she'll be semi-satisfied with that!  I'm really worried now that everyone thought I was rude, and I honestly was not trying to be.  Apparently she also went up to my aunt said "Are we going to open the presents soon?  Because I have a very antsy 7 year old and this is taking too long."  Yikes!  It was a very long shower, but that was not my choice.  She also apparently complained ahead of time to my fiance that she had to go to the shower instead of going skiing. :-(

Thanks kjpugs!  He already agreed to meet her because he said he didn't want to talk to her about it over the phone (and I will be at work when they meet).  He's definitely supportive of me, but I'm worried he won't tell me the whole story to protect my feelings.  He said he thinks that it's just a 'big misunderstanding' and that we probably both think the other hates us.  She's not mean to me on a constant basis, she just does and says random things that often my fiance is not there for or does not notice.  Their family was also mad because his Oma could not come to the shower since she was still in Florida (it had to be early because my cousin who was helping to throw the shower is moving to England).

It's sort of hard for us to get together too because we live 2 hours drive away and are both working and in school.  I feel like this situation is ridiculously complicated and frustrating.  UGH!

@spaniel, I think he just means emotionally he is being put in the middle of us, which is tough because he cares about us both.

He did say that if she said she didn't think he should marry me, we'd never talk to her again.  Hopefully she doesn't say something that crazy!!  He said his plan is to 'put her straight'.  I just don't like that they might fight over something so silly.  She could have just introduced herself to other guests like everyone else did.  What was I supposed to do, parade the guests by the corner she was sitting in?