Future mother in-law said son wants to propose!

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
72 posts
Worker bee

Welp. My FI and I dated for just about 7 years. There was always a reason why he wasn’t ready: we were long-distance, then when we were living together he wanted to live together for a year before proposing, then he wanted to make sure he could save up enough money and get me “a ring that’s good enough” even though by that point I would have taken a twist tie. 

However, when he DID propose it was so, so worth the wait. We had talked about marriage and kids (but like you it was only when I brought it up) and everyone knew it was coming it was just a matter of when. It seems like your BF and my FI have a similar mindset – they want to do it when everything can be perfect, and they’re forgetting that there’s probably never going to be a 100% perfect time for anything in life.

Post # 4
2818 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

why is your boyfriend’s mother sharing these things with you? It seems like she’s overstepping, here. 

Post # 6
4 posts

My boyfriend’s stepmom did the same thing a month or two ago…and our boyfriends sound pretty similar (we’ve also been together almost 4 years).  Mine is also very practical and I know he won’t propose until he feels like he has every little detail figured out.  Perhaps your guy is doing the same!  We are focused on paying off debts, and I’m sure my boyfriend is wanting to save up a bit after paying off debts to ensure he can get a good ring without going into debt for it.  He may have a plan, but maybe he’s just waiting to have a little more money, or waiting to work out all the details!

Post # 7
4 posts

Also, I don’t think she really overstepped any boundaries by telling you–you’ve been waiting for a while, and I know I was happy to get some information, because my guy will want it to be a surprise…but waiting with zero information was driving me insane!  So I, for one, really appreciated the info.  Didn’t ruin anything for me–I know it’ll happen soon anyway.

Post # 9
1231 posts
Bumble bee

Bel343:  I am only replying because you are saying you are confused.  It looks like your bf wants to propose,  but is still not ready (at least financially). The response he gave his mother is quite reasonable. Either he gets weird because he is not  ready or he wants to suprise you. Otherwise, it might be your perception. 

Post # 10
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Bel343:  Yep I agree with PPs. It seems he wants to propose but isn’t ready. And there is a difference in the two I’ve found.

My FI was the same way about work. He has had the same job the whole time we’ve been together BUT his position with the company was in flux and until the promotion happened, he was hesitant to start down the road towards marriage. I know he wanted to propose but he wasn’t ready until the work stuff got ironed out. He proposed in June (probably 9 or 10 months after we first started talking engagement stuff).

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