(Closed) Future mother-in-law tips

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m shocked no one has responded to this question!  Maybe there’s no hope 😉

But seriously, I would love some tips myself.

Post # 4
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t know if I am good for any tips, but you are very lucky that you have a sweet FMIL who you like!  My husband and I have struggled with our relationship with my MIL because she feels that I am pulling her son away (which is totally not the case, she just doesn’t understand that his relationship with them is changing because we are married).  I think the biggest piece of advice I can give is to be OPEN with your in-laws about decisions you make and the reasons why, so there are no hurt feelings or resentfulness that builds up.  It is always going to be a challenge to keep everyone happy, and you probably also should realize that you won’t ALWAYS be able to keep everyone happy…sometimes there will be hurt feelings you can’t avoid, but the most important thing is that you and your husband remain on the same page and united.  Because if you don’t have that, you don’t have much of anything.

Best of luck!

Post # 5
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well, from what I have learned so far- Don’t talk about them badly to your husband TOO much…haha

I pick my battles too, I’m not real vocal and they can insult me or annoy me all they want (I have two mother in laws) but when it comes to my son I don’t like to be pushed around and I will stand my ground. So pick your battles wisely and ask for back up instead of sending your husband off to talk to her for you.

Good Luck

Post # 6
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

hmm the best tip i think would be to avoid her like the plague! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

I think to include her in your lives in a healthy way.  Maybe once a week dinners, lunch, ecc… 

Also, I agree with Canbybride, do not bad talk their son to them.  They probably know his faults, but there is a weird unspoken boundry there!

 

 

Post # 8
Member
6573 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

For us, I think 1) showing her that I love and care for her son and 2) showing her that I care for their whole family.

I kind of learned from my soon to be ex sil, their other son’s wife. She wasn’t nice to my bil, so of course they didnt’ like her. She wasn’t helpful around her own house (wouldn’t cook or clean), and she would come visit and do nothing but lie around their house.

I feel like if you’re already have a good relationship, you should just keep doing whatever you’re doing b/c obviously it’s working!

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