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@bridetobe62611: congratulations on your wedding and welcome to the hive! can you appease her by having a party at home?
What are her reasons for not wanting it there? I know that the Catholic church won't allow weddings outside. Is that part of the issue or is it something else?
If we know her reasoning, we can help more :)
People are going to complain no matter what you do so do what is best for you two and do what you want!
I think she'll come around. That would be sad if she's willing to miss her sons wedding, a major life event, just because of something so silly. Maybe you can arrange for someone to drive her down if she's worried about the driving part? Maybe pay for her hotel room too (assuming you have a reception that goes late into the night, she won't want to be driving 4 hours home in the dark). I'm sure there is something that can be done
She might have some valid points about why she doesn't want you to have it at the beach, so I'd listen to her concerns. She's probably just saying she wont come if it is on the beach to scare you. She'll come around.
Ha! I think I'm being rebellious this morning, because my first response was "well, then tell her that you'll see her after the wedding and you'll bring her back a piece of cake!" I'm sure she has her reasons of why she doesn't want it at the beach, and maybe they're valid and you'll listen to her. But I'd hate to see this turning into a power struggle BTW you and her, about controlling your wedding, so on and so forth. Do what you want if she still doesn't want to come, she doesn't have to. I don't think she'll go that extreme and you'll be able to call her bluff.
Yep, feeling rebellious.
Has she told you why she is against having the wedding on the beach? When I first read the title of the post I thought you were having your wedding in another country, but four hours away doesn't sound unreasonable to me.
I would ask her what her concerns are and try to work around them.
thank you everyone for your advice. i think her reason is because she does not want to drive so far away, and have to stay in a hotel. but all in all it is our decision and she can do as she pleases.
I agree with others, initially, I thought you were talking about a destination wedding that she would have to fly to, but 4 hours away?
You said she has to get a hotel, maybe she is worried that she can't afford one, & instead of telling you that, she is just pouting about the location?
I think that might be it AnnieAAA. I dont think she has much money to go to a hotel and contribute. Plus she does have a lot of health issuees so I think she thinks what if something happens to her while shes down there. Another problem is our grandmother is in a wheelchair and can not walk onto the beach. I think shes really concerend about that. We've made the decision not to have it on the beach. It's just not possible. I am sure wherever we go it will be beautiful. Thanks everyone for helping me out !
I was just thinking about the "maybe it's a wheelchair" issue - my friends couldn't use the beach b/c of that. Good luck to you! Bring the beach to Scranton - sand in your centerpieces or something? :-)
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Hi everyone. I am here to sort of vent to my fellow bees. My future mother - in - law is not wanting us to have our wedding on the beach. It's only 4 hours away from where we live so it's not like it is in another country or anything. She keeps saying if we have it there , she refuses to go. Any ideas on how to ease her into the sitauation and decide to finally want to to go? Thank you for listening.