Future SIL behaviour atrocious VENT

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
812 posts
Busy bee

I think as long as nobody stands up to her behaviour it will get worse…. It’s obvious your BIL wont do anything and I am sorry about that. I can only imagine how much worse it will get once they are actually legally married. I am sorry you have to deal with this. But maybe next time you see her, call her on her behavior and see what happens? I am sure your husband and MIL will back you up on that at least. And it might help open your BIL eyes?

Post # 3
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If your BIl is happy , I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. They may be sitting back talking about your relationship too.

Post # 4
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

She sounds awful, but fortunately or unfortunately she is not your problem to deal with. If your BIL is happy to go along with her obnoxiousness, then that’s his decision. Perhaps it would help if your husband talked to him about more appropriate ways for his fiancee to speak to your MIL, but I would strongly suggest that you not get involved personally because that is how family rifts start.

Post # 5
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

They’ve been together ten years and actually they sound like quite a good match. If she was planning this marriage to con him or set herself up for life, then she’s sure spent a long time planning it. Your BIL is probably quite happy sitting at home on the couch, drinking and doesn’t want to do “activities.” I think the idea of a joined BBQ sounds nice, not every man wants to do a traditional bucks night. What I’m trying to say is stop worrying about your BIL and his relationship just because it’s not your cup of tea (unless there’s signs that he’s unhappy or abused in which case your husband needs to talk to him). 

She does sound like an annoying person to be around though so I sympathise with you and your MIL. Your MIL could ask not to be spoken to like that but to be honest, that’s probably just going to encourage your SIL to do it more. unfortunately we all have people in life that we’d choose not to spend time with if we can help it (family members, colleagues, friends’ spouses) but you just have to deal with it for the sake of your BIL. 

also, you come off a little judgemental about her being “a redneck” and from a “rough background” so make sure you’re not subconsciouly showing that when you’re around her. Maybe she picks up on the vibe that she doesn’t fit in with the rest of you and that’s not very nice for her so she’s acting out. 

Post # 7
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

smileyme:  kudos to you for recognising that, I was worried I sounded too harsh in my message.Thats all you can do really, keep it classy and try not to let it affect you. Be thankful you don’t have to see her all the time!

Post # 8
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Maybe it’s not as bad as this, but men can be in emotionally abusive relationships too, and it’s easy to forget that. If she won’t “let” him do anything, that’s cause for concern.

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