- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I used to be pretty darn close to my future sister in law and after she graduated high school she went down the wrong path (which happens to everyone at some point) and she heavily disappointed her brothers and me.
We ended up forgiving her but ever since then, we have not been as close. Once my fiancee asked me to marry him, I was thrilled and asked her to be one of my bridesmaids. (mostly for him but a little for me too).
She found out she was pregnant not too long after by her boyfriend (who is the lowest scum of the earth) and started getting snobby with me as I asked her for things (like going to get fitted for a bridesmaid dress). She also bowed out the last minute of a bridesmaids dinner I had planned a month in advance so we could all get to know each other and have fun.
I need to add that my fiancees mom is paying for everything for his sister because she can’t afford it so now she thinks she has a say in EVERYTHING bridesmaid. Recently, my fiancees mom and me got into an argument over text and made up right away as it was a misunderstanding but not 5 minutes later I get text message from my fiancees sister reading this:
“IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU. I’ve bit my tongue long enough. I love you but your overbearing with this wedding stuff. Like I told my brother I wasn’t trying to start anything you just upset my mom and I’m tired of hearing about it. Yes its your big day but the only reason I’m involved is because your marrying my brother. If it weren’t for him, I wouldnt have said yes to you to begin with. Considering you couldn’t even ask me to be in your wedding in person. I know that you’re excited and that’s great. I’m just over you trying to control every detail and the more details surface the less excited I am for my brother. I love him and I think you guys are great, but the two of you barely speak to me, its hard to be around or talk to people that are so selfish.”
I’d like to note a few things: A) It is about me…at least i thought my wedding day was? B) I asked most of my bridesmaids through text and C) I am going to try and control every detail because it is in fact MY WEDDING and D) I don’t care if you are excited about MY wedding. Ok I’m done venting.
So now, my fiancee completely stuck up for me and him and his sister aren’t speaking. He told his mother that his sister is out of the wedding and he would reimburse his mother for the dress. His mother is NOT letting this go. She won’t make her daughter apologize (and frankly never has in her life) and is putting it on my fiancee to fix it all.
It has been almost 2 months since this happened and my wedding is in 5 months. He told his mother that if his sister doesn’t apologize, she can’t be in our wedding. We are never going to get an apology and now we are stuck in limbo just waiting.
I have no idea if she is standing up and frankly the longer I wait, the more angry I am getting and the less excited I have become for my own wedding. Some days I feel guilty but then other days I realize more and more that she just doesn’t care to even be in the wedding (my fiancees mother cares more than anyone).
How is it right that me as the bride should be stressing about this while his sister doesn’t even care? Am I wrong for still not wanting her to stand up with me now? I don’t want drama on my wedding day and I don’t want my future SIL or MIL to try and make it all about them.
I feel bad for my fiancee and I don’t want him resenting me if she doesn’t end up standing up. He and I have been the bigger person this entire time (we even bought her $100 worth of christmas gifts and we arent even speaking to her! not to mention, he didnt get a thing from her, not even a thank you). She is a spoiled brat and I feel responsible for teaching her a lesson, since no one else ever has.
HELP before I don’t have a wedding.