Post # 1
Ok I just seriously need to vent! My future SIL and I had always gotten along great. We got engaged and of course I asked her to be a bridesmaid. And her daughter is our flower girl. Well first she starts off criticizing EVERY single bridesmaid dress I showed her that I was interested in. This one is too short, that one is strapless, I’m going to look fat in that one, etc. She also did the same thing with flower girl dresses, not liking any that I have showed her. Well eventually it got to be to much for me and my FI straight out told her that while I definitely don’t want to make her wear something she hates, it’s MY wedding and if she doesn’t stop whining about the dresses I like then she can drop out of the wedding. I think it was a little harsh how he said it, but he got the point across. Anyway she proceeded to block both of us on facebook and wouldn’t talk to us for awhile all over a stupid dress! She got over it and now said of course she is going to be in our wedding and is cooperating more with dress options.
And a couple months ago, I had asked her to pull out all of my FIs childhood pictures because I wanted to make a little slideshow, and also want to get some copies for myself, so we can show our kids. Well today I emailed her asking if she had gotten to it yet and she said no, she has had way to much stuff on her mind. I understand that she’s a little stressed out right now, but she has no job, and only takes 2 classes at college. She is always home, so I can’t figure out why it’s so hard to pull out a couple photo albums from her closet and bring them with when she comes to visit?! Everytime I ask her she says she hasn’t yet, but will eventually get to it.
I know I’m being dramatic about this, but I have been stressing over this wedding for almost a year and now that it’s down to less than 4 months I just want to get stuff done and it’s upsetting that she is not willing to help me out at all!
Post # 3
@sara.courtney3: It sounds like she is a stay at home mom, which is a full time job IMHO. And she is taking classes, which is tough when you have a child to take care of. Some college classes require no work whatsoever, but some are incredibly time consuming. It just depends on what the course is, the department, and the level. Anyways, I think you should cut her some slack. Why not ask if you can come over one night (I assume you live near her) and look through her photos? Use it as a bonding experience. Or invite her, her daughter and her husband over for dinner and have her bring the albums over then. You can look through photos after the meal and pick out your favorites.
Post # 4
Probably be easier if u asked to go to her house and borrow the books to pull out what u want, and then return the books. If she is too busy, find a way around it.
Post # 5
She is not married and her daughter doesn’t live with her. I have 2 toddlers and work full time and I know what it’s like to not have time. But still managing to plan a wedding! She lives about an hour and a half away from us, but comes down almost every weekend and stays with her parents. She is just taking a couple general classes, I know one is English and not sure on the other one. She only has her classes in the morning and is done around 10am, so she has the rest of the day to do her homework and whatever else. But the thing that bugs me is that it would only take her a couple minutes to dig out the albums and throw them in her car to bring with.
Post # 6
Maybe she still isn’t completely over with what happened with the BM dress situation..? I do agree, it doesn’t take forever to pull out a few albums out for you and letting you pick the pictures you need but maybe the previous situation is in the middle. Maybe you two should sit down and talk to see if things are truly okay and if not, work things out. I have to admit, I would be terribly hurt if my brother told me what your FI said to his sister and I probably would still have some feelings hurt which could possibly reflect on you.
Post # 7
No one can internet diagnose, but it’s possible she has other problems like depression and low self-esteem; depression can make it difficult to even get out of bed, or do necessary things like go to the bank. There are plenty of anxiety disorders that make that difficult as well. Not saying that makes it okay, but it could help you figure her out if she does have any of those problems.
You could try being the bigger person and offer to take her out to lunch and pick up the pictures when you pick her up or something like that; you could ask if anything’s wrong and if there’s anything you can do to help if there is something bugging her.
Or you could just live with her the way she is. I don’t think you’re being dramatic, but I do think this is a situation where you need to choose to be the adult if you want to get things done.