(Closed) Future sis-in-law volunteered to make bm outfits. Disaster. Freaking out.

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

@katehh08:  pics? could the girls take them somewhere locally and get them altered?

Post # 4
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

It is your wedding and you deserve for your bridesmaids to wear what you choose, and each of them deserves to look good and feel comfortable.  Calmly explain to her, perhaps with your FI/her brother’s support, that you really apprieciate her generosity but that there is just not enough time and you don’t want her to be rushed or pressured.  Explain that the items are lovely (even if they’re not) but they just don’t go with your special wedding vision, or that your other bridesmaids are uncomfortable.  Perhaps you could all wear them to the stagette or an after-wedding party but on YOUR big day, you have a different idea for your girls.  
Besides, there is nothing worse than a person who makes their own clothes and thinks they’re hot stuff when really it’s just…sad…which is fine if it’s just them but to put that on another person is not fair.  You will have photos forever, and goodness knows nothing is worse than looking back on wedding pictures and saying “good God what was I thinking?!”  There is a big difference between something being funny/horrifying just because times have changed, and something being funny/horrifying because it’s awful.  Just plain awful.
You have to be prepared that she will probably get upset-she sounds just lovely, inviting herself into the wedding party-but all you can do is be polite, apologetic, but firm.  She may think you are a bitch but that isn’t your problem.  If she blows up and leaves your bridal party/acts innappropriately so that you ask her to leave, that is all a consequence of her actions, not yours.  You need to do right by you, especially on your wedding day.  All the best and stay strong~!

Post # 5
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@_Adelaide_:  +1. At this point, it would be much more expedient and logical to have each girl get them altered. If it’s just a matter of being too big around but otherwise being ok (i.e. proper length for each torso), hopefully it would be a simple fix. Fifty days out is too much time, imo, for all of them to be done by her. Soften the message by saying you don’t want to put her in such a time-crunch situation etc.

Post # 6
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

LOL!!  Talk about Deja Vu!!!! I’m not laughing at you.  The same exact thing happened to me.  My Aunt who is a seamstress, she sews for a company for a living, offered to make my bridal gown.  She’s made bridal gowns before.   Instead I asked if she would do the BM dress.  3 of my  9 bridesmaids were able to go to her house to be measured by her.  The others sent their measurements.  OMG!  My DH is over 250lbs none of my BM are even 200lbs why the hell did my DH fit in one of the dresses?!!!!  To make matters worse, I had friends in one color and family in another.  The color for my friends was discontinued and I had all the material there was in the US so we didn’t have material to play with.   I called all the stores looking for it.   Thank goodness in my case she hadn’t started the other dresses yet.    This was about 45 days out!!!!  So you see I know exactly what you are talking about!

 

Options: 

    1.   Ask each girl if the workmanship on it is okay.  If it is, they can take it to be altered.   Sometimes alterations can get pricey.  Does the store still carry the material incase you need more?

     

      1.   Have the girl find a seamstress in their area to either redo a whole new corset or find a pattern that you like and have them have a dress made.

       

        1.  Let each BM find a dress in your colors.  

         

        JCP has some really nice dresses that can be used as BM dress for a really good price.  I ended up having them find someone in their area to make the remaining dresses.  The ones that were messed up were fixed by my grandmother.   My BM were pissed at me, not really, because my usherettes dresses were sooo hot!!!   Even my mom was like after the guest see the usherettes they will be exacting the bomb for the BM.   but hey shit happen and everyone was there to see me any way!  LOL.   You still have time.  I know everything will work out.

         

        Post # 7
        Member
        12833 posts
        Honey Beekeeper
        • Wedding: November 1999

        I would either see if they can be professionally taken in by a seamstress, or try to figure out a back-up plan.  It’s very nice of your FSIL to undertake this, but clearly it didn’t work out the way you wanted it to…  Good luck!

        Post # 8
        Member
        12250 posts
        Sugar Beekeeper
        • Wedding: May 2013

        I would send them back to FSIL to have her tailor them again. I would also make a contingency plan for 30 days out if they’re still awful (or MIA!)! Find some off-the-rack dresses you can pick up same-day if you guys reach 30 days before the wedding and still no corsets!

        Post # 10
        Member
        688 posts
        Busy bee
        • Wedding: October 2013

        eek, yeah thats bad. Just give each bridesmaid a color and length requirement and maybe ask them to send you a picture before they purchase (to make sure it looks cohesive) and they should look great. They will be more comfortable too.

        Post # 11
        Member
        1854 posts
        Buzzing bee
        • Wedding: May 2013

        @katehh08:  um. wow. No you need to back out of those. They are BAD. I have no idea what you are going to say but DAYUM- you need to say something.

         

        Post # 12
        Member
        404 posts
        Helper bee

        Yeah, don’t go ahead with them. The picture looks like it would be fine for maybe fancy dress standard, but not bridesmaid.

        How well do you know you FSIL? Will she react okay to you changing your mind on them?

        Post # 13
        Member
        2287 posts
        Buzzing bee
        • Wedding: Central Park

        Yeah its bad. Get them other dresses ASAP. Targent has cute cheap bridesmaid dresses. 

        Post # 14
        Member
        680 posts
        Busy bee

        Tell your FSIL that the BMs are reporting that the fit isn’t all that flattering and that you are concerned that she may not have time to get them done before the big day given that many of the ladies are not local. I’d stick with the fact that time is of the essence here, rather than her less-than-stellar sewing abilities, that way, feelings can remain intact (hopefully). 

        The last thing you want is for your bridesmaids to feel uncomfortable and ugly that day all for the sake of saving one person’s ego. She’ll just have to deal with it. It’s your day. 

        Start looking for something off the rack pronto! 

        Post # 15
        Member
        3420 posts
        Sugar bee
        • Wedding: September 2014

        You can get backup dresses and not tell anyone about it. Just have these dresses in reserve. You would have to pay for everything out of your own pocket, but you will peice of mind in case this thing with your FSIL doesn’t work out you have backups. Just don’t make it a big deal and have the back up dresses in reserve. That will give you some peice of mind

        It is nice that your FSIL offered to help you. It’s the thought that counts.  

        Post # 16
        Member
        8464 posts
        Bumble Beekeeper
        • Wedding: April 2013

        Those are not ok to wear.  It was a nice thought from your FSIL, but you need to order corsets or dresses from a professional/store.

        The topic ‘Future sis-in-law volunteered to make bm outfits. Disaster. Freaking out.’ is closed to new replies.

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