Future Sister-In-Law Expecting change of wedding date(kind of long rant, sorry!)

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh man, she sounds… awesome. 

She gets one day. Not a week, and certainly not a year. Anyone who cares this much about having a whole year to themselves have yet to discover they are not the centre of the universe. 

Ignore her. Seriously, ignore it. She’s being competitive and a diva. You know if you said you were getting married in 2014 she would throw a fit that she’s not “first.” It was generous of you to change your venue. Now just do what you’re going to do. Book whatever you want, and for the love of god DO NOT TALK ABOUT PLANNING IN FRONT OF HER. It’s not worth it. Do not ask anything about her wedding, and then you can just say ‘Oh, you have the same cake maker/whatever? Yeah, they’re great eh?”


Post # 4
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Mrs.LemonDrop:  +1

This girl needs to just sit in her stew.  Plan your wedding JUST as you see fit.  It’s nice that you tried to play nice with her but clearly that got you nowhere.  Bitch bit your kind hand so now you can take it away and never offer it up again – at least not in regards to this wedding stuff.


What is she?  22?  She just needs to grow up.  Stop caving to her because you are teaching her how to treat you.

Post # 7
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@MrsSnowLeopard:  Yea  – honestly – you guys are really young and I was a stupid asshole when I was 22.  The petty shit I pulled from the age of 20-24 was ridiculous.  As someone who eventually grew up I have to say this.

She’s going to stress more about your wedding than hers so don’t even try to tiptoe through the tulips with her.  Just be the bigger person, avoid wedding-related conversations with her, and just plan your wedding.  Be nice and carry yourself as if you wished she would behave.  Be a role model.

Post # 8
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

She sounds like a very mature young lady Wink


She’s proven that no matter what you do she will not be happy.  You’ve gone above and beyond to not step on her toes, and shes still throwing a fit.  All you can do now is take the high road.  Don’t talk to her about the wedding anymore, don’t engage in the drama.  Go plan the wedding you want, don’t let her stupid attitude take that from you.

Post # 9
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Pretty sure she is digging her own grave. If i had a friend come to me and say that i would be like “chick, get a grip. you get a day not a year. let them plan”


Post # 10
11 posts
  • Wedding: July 2014

Please don’t change your wedding date or plans to suit her, as others have said…I admit I had several friends who got engaged in the months after me, and had a silly jealous moment when they booked their wedding before mine! but got over it 🙂 The day is about you, your fiance and the family and people you love. Dont let her spoil your happy time, if she wants to be so diva-ish she’s only ruining her own fun if you ignore her. FYI, I know of someone who was like this…very self centred and selfish, made it very difficult at times, this person had an idea in their head of what they wanted things to be like but wouldnt tell you what their expectation was, unless you failed to live up to it! and they grew up, matured and became a very nice person indeed, so there is hope 🙂

Post # 11
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I am in a similar situation with my FSIL! I am 23 and FI is 25 and she is 22. I’ve definitely learned—to heck with her. Plan your wedding how you picture it! The place, the date, the time…everything! I’m so fed up with my FSIL I could care less what she thinks or wants at this point. We are both bride to be’s and we both have the right to do what we went. 

Post # 12
496 posts
Helper bee

If you give in to every single tantrum she has now, you will always be giving in to her. Just plan your day, be polite and cordial to her when you see her, don’t discuss your wedding with her and try not to be around when she discusses her wedding. You don’t have to like the person or what they are doing to be polite even if you are being distant (think Downton Abbey!).  If his family have known her longer, it may be natural for people to take her side for now but all of that will fade if you just handle yourself well through this process.  And finally, F&** her and her f’ed up ways of handling herself! Nobody has time for that@!!!!

Post # 13
1028 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@skippydarling:  LMAO @ Stupid asshole. I love the honesty!

OP – I agree with what most have posted. Your FSIL sounds like a drama queen and a lot needy and the more you given in, the more she will expect it. I feel sorry for your soon-to-be fiance because he wants peace and just wants to be your husband but as you stated, its not fair to elope simply because she wants 365 days of self centeredness. SMDH. As hard as it may be to not share with his family, you might have to turn to your friends and loved ones to share in this excitement and the wedding planning and turn your back to her childish ways/demands. Best of luck and dont let anyone get in the way of you and your future husband’s happiness!

Post # 14
7206 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@bluefrog33:  +1.

Your marriage is between you and your man. She doesn’t get to dictate other peoples lives. Four months is more than sufficent between weddings. You were already nice about the venue. Giving into anything else just feeds her narcissism. 

Post # 15
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Do what is best for you. She sounds like the type of person that won’t be happy no matter what you choose to do, so why not go ahead with original plans? Just make sure to NOT share any information with her.

Also, I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your FMIL, but I would tread lightly around her as well regarding wedding information because she may spill the beans to her daughter.

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