Weddingbee boards

So my guest list is slowly creeping up, and we really need to get it under control. My portion of the list comprises about 2/3 of it - I have a huge family - so even though I was against it in the beginning, I decided to cut out plus ones for people not in LTR's or married. This would mainly effect my cousins who are younger (20's and under).  I feel bad, but I can't worry about it at this point. My few single friends will understand, so I'm mostly OK with this decision. It has helped me cut the list to the point of being manageable again.

The issue is with my FI. He doesn't want to cut plus one's for his people. He has a very small family, and it would really only apply to his work people. Well, my argument is that this is not an usualy practice, especially for work people. This is my personal experience though, so it is not usual to me. I have worked in day spas for 10 + years, and have been to several work weddings where just us girls were invited w/o dates. He thinks it's tacky. So fine. I asked what his other suggestion would be to cut the list a little more. His response is that I should cut more of my family  because I have more people on the list. This is what makes me crazy. I can't help that I have a big family. They comprise close to 100 people on the list (we're at 250ish after making the plus one's cut, which is the limit for our venue) However, we are a close bunch. There are some that I didn't invite who I am not close to, but everyone on my list is vital. We knew it was going to be a big wedding from the get go. I gave him the option of doing a DW to keep things simple, and he did not want that, so them's the breaks, we are having a big wedding. His logic that since my family is bigger, so therefore more expendable, makes me crazy. Just because I have more people, does not mean that his work friends get to pull rank over my actual cousins. So now, because I debated with him about it not being tacky, he's pulling the "well my opinion doens't matter, so do what you want" BS, and he's all butt hurt and sulky and I want to punch him. GAH!

He's close with his coworkers, he's worked with some of them for years, but I don't know most of them. I know it's tricky, but my family that is invited is close to both of us. Cutting the plus one's narrowed the list by about 30 people. I added back the ones for his friends and that brought it back up by 10. So now we are at about 255, and our cut off for the venue is 250.  I can live with that, I guess. I would feel comfortable with a little more of a buffer, but it's not worth another argument.

i don't think cutting people's plus ones would be good unless they do not have a long-time SO and/or live in arrangment with their bf/gf.

@Miss Lilac: You are a voice of reason, and I appreciate it!  :)

@ijustrockout: Those are the only ones I cut. It is mainly my younger cousins and my single friends (who will totally understand). Anyone in a LTR or married will be invited. Honestly once we get responses back and people say they can't come, if my cousins ask me if they can bring a date I'll say yes. It's purely about having a chair for everyone to sit in and nothing else.

I am floored I am even having this issue. When we booked the hall in January and they told us 250 was the max I didn't blink an eye. I thought we'd top out at 200. I knew how big my list would be, but FI's parents are inviting a lot of friends. Which is another part of the argument. Neither he or I even know them, and he keeps saying he doesn't know why they are even invited. Um, does anyone else see a solution here? Sheesh!

Are his parent's contributing to the wedding? In terms of the friends for his parents, I would have a chat with them ,and let them know your space concerns. Give them a number of couples/ppl they can invite, and let them know that beyond that, you are over fire regulations. Might be an akward conversation, but they can't argue with fire regulations!

So, you are inviting 250 people? I see a lot of times on here where you get a lot of people you invite who then can't come. I've had 30% of my guests decline and I was shocked. Could you do A/B invites?

@KatM: That is what I thought because, as I said in my OP, I have been to several work friend weddings that were done that way and it was not a big deal. FI has not been to a lot of weddings though, he has a small family and a small friend circle, so he just sees things kinda old school.

@crystlrox: Yes we are inviting slightly over 250 at this point. I know some of our out of town people will not be coming, but I don't want to invite too many over the limit and just cross my fingers. I know they say expect about 25% to not come, but I would rather have a reasonable buffer. We have a few B list people too though in that count. :)

I told FI to talk to his mom today because he was going over there. I told him to tell her to move some people to a B list too. We are sending the out of town invites out earllier than the others, and if we get some NO responses, she can invite the rest.

Thanks again ladies! It just helps to vent to a group that gets it. :)