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*hugs* One of the hardest days EVER was finding out the guy I was totally head over heels about freshman year of college was married with a baby that had been born THE DAY BEFORE! They got married when she was 7 months pregnant but oh man, I was so upset. It doesn't help that a) I had found out the guy I had just broken up with started dating someone else b) my college tried to tell that I hadn't graduated c) ALL I was in Hawaii. Worst. Trip. Ever. Isn't it weird to realize that we're all moving on and growing up and eventually we won't even give them a second though? It's all so fluid!
OMG!!
We were just talking about this in another post.
My situation is different. My ex left a bad taste in my mouth and we have been broken up for 5.5 years and he has only been in one relationship which has been for a year and they are married. I have been with my BF for 4.5 years and we are not engaged. LIFE IS SO UNFAIR sometimes.
Ouch, that does hurt. I'm glad you're not devastated. If he's happy and you're happy, its all good! Still feels like a gut check though huh?
My SO found receipts for wedding purchases his ex made about three months after their divorce was finalized. He seemed pretty glib about it, but I was FURIOUS. Because of what it implied about the divorce, and how fast it happened, and the fact that she was going to spend piles of money on a wedding with her affair while he struggled to stay financially afloat during the short sale.
It's all water under the bridge, I suppose. My ex has a new underage girlfriend every few weeks! But such is life.
Anyway, I'm glad you're both happy. That's all that matters in the end: are you happy with your choice? If so, awesome. :)
Definitely a gut check. While I am incredibly happy for him.... wow. I managed to avoid a bad mood around my BF last night, but ended up having a dream that made me ridiculously insecure this morning.
Life goes on... I don't know that I'd care about my other ex's, but the implications of this is that we'll naturally have to step back from our friendship which probably makes me the saddest. I lost a part of me.
When I found out my ex was married it was way after the fact, like a couple years. I wasn't surprised or upset, maybe a little shocked, but mostly angry that our mutual friends intentionally kept it a secret from me.
I just found out that my ex got his on & off again gf (of less than 1 year) pregnant! I was so sad for him because I know she's not right for him, but he's the kind of guy who's going to marry her & take care of her.
He text messaged me at 1 am saying "I think I'm in some trouble..." and then he spilled the beans. It felt like a kick in the gut. I don't really know why though b/c we've been friends since we broke up & there are zero feelings there....
I can totally relate taco! It's just surreal :)
I think you're handling this well!
I dated a guy for 3.5 years, we broke up and he started dating someone else immediately. They were married less than a year and a half later. I knew that I didn't want to be with him and by this time I know that hubby was "the one" but it still really bothered me that they got married so quickly, especially since she was the "rebound girl" in my mind.
(BTW, I'm not trying to offend anyone who married a guy after 1.5 years, my feelings at the time were pissy b/c of a history with the girl! :)
My ex is married and his wife is preggers. I feel really weird about it. Like, OMG i can't BELIEEEEVE you got over me! LOLOL j/k...
I also found out after they get engaged he's moving to the east coast! Thank you girls, I feel better knowing I'm not the ONLY ONE who went through this.
I'm going to seriously lay off any marriage talk though. I suppose seeing the perspective of "too soon" for X was enough for me to really back off on the BF.
It sounds awful, but I would have totally been upset if my ex was engaged before me, lol. so childish but true. He's engaged now, but only recently and I've been engaged since Feb. small victory. you take em where you can.
I feel your pain. In the same three day stretch, I got engaged, and both of the guys I dated in college got engaged too. It was pretty unsettling!
I'm super close to my ex too!! I actually refer to him as my other BFF! I'd feel the same way if he got engaged, more in the over protective way. I want him to be happy and find a great girl! So I could see how that might hurt! Sorry, hopefully yours will come soon!
I haven't had this happen to me, but @lolaj -- it reminds me of When Harry Met Sally and she's freaking out because "he's not supposed to marry the *rebound girl*!!!"
It's super crummy ((hugs))
@DaisyBride- ON a funny note: After finding out my ex, among others, got married a year after breaking up with me, after I HIRED the girl he married, (my replacement...in LIFE?!) I drunkenly vowed I was sick of training men to be grooms for the next gal. And by god, this time around, I was going to be on the winning side of the exchange.
And one day, I was the "rebound girl" and it's been delicious ever since. 
@sulaii - I never thought of it as training men but thats SO funny. I did train him to stand up to his crazy mom (at least I started the training process). I'm sure "rebound relationships" often work out, but in my case, I refused to admit that it was possible :)
I secretly love that she has to deal with the crazy mother in law!
It is training men to be good husbands to someone else, and it's frustrating, but remember ladies, for every man you trained to treat you right, you'll end up with a man who someone else also put that work into just for you to reap the benefits. :)
Since my XH hated the whole idea of marriage, I think I'd be so very upset to find out he was engaged. I think it's normal to have some type of feeling about it, even if you are happy for them.
Both of my ex boyfriends that I seriously dated before meeting FI got married to the girls that they met RIGHT after me. Talk about feeling like you were the "boyfriend trainer"!
I was bad too, I knew who my ex's wedding photog was and I totally snooped and looked at all of their wedding photos like a total stalker. I don't even know why I did it, it's not like I wasn't over him because I totally was; I think I just kind of wanted to see how his story ended.
Aww I'm sorry...but everyone's gotta move on. Its good that you guys are on good terms though
My ex and I were/are not on good terms. He cheated on me and ended up marrying the girl he cheated on me with! SO UNFAIR! But in the end I'm really happy with it because my BF is a million times more perfect for me than my ex ever was!
Just think, even though you may be sad, at least you have your perfect man that you WILL one day marry!
My ex is also one of my closest friends and when I tried telling him about shopping for rings he surprised me by saying he was doing the same. Mind you, WE have been dating for almost 3 years and he and his g/f had been on/off for less than 1. That was a shock. What wasn't a shock? When he broke the engagement about a month later. Every time we talked I was getting concerned, so I'm glad he's not going through with it. But ya... he WAS going to be married about a month before me...
After 3.5 years of dating, my ex and I had a horrid break up, as in he sent an email. A few months later I had this weird feeling in my stomach related to him, so I did the google and found a website with pics of him and another girl. I told my sister, in a poor me kind of moment, and while she was talking to me she found a wedding registry for him. No commitment in all that time and he went to married less than a year and a half later? UUUGGGHH! We were in a LDR, so I figure maybe they started up before we ended. It sucked at the time, but everything led up to meeting my FI, and I wouldn't trade him for the world!
I found out a few months ago that my ex (of 5 years who i thought i was going to marry) was dating the ONLY girl I was ever jealous of (I always suspected he cheated with her but I never had any proof). Yea that hurt a little.... more like a why HER thing. But, then I remembered that I am so much happier now than I was then, and honestly he and I just never quite fit. It is definitely weird... but you'll get over it soon.
I like the comment above about being the "boyfriend trainer"
I was the first G/F of a lot of my B/Fs, none are married not that I know of, but ending those relationships I always felt like a boyfriend trainer. ^_^
I have a good friend though that has been the g/f before the girl her b/fs actually married like 3 times! So yup it happens to a lot of people. ^_^
I had an "I know we were supposed to hang out...but I went off and got married" phone call from an ex awhile back. Shocked me completely.
My FI is my *rebound*. lol. I love him to death.
I felt like crap when one of my serious ex's got married to the girl he cheated on me with...but karma is a b**** and they're already in the middle of a divorce after a year. And then I found out my ex FI just had a second baby with someone else yesterday, and I'm just so glad it wasn't me. Even if I still think "what if we had gotten married? What if he has picked me?" every now and then,
I remember when my ex called me and told me he was going to propose to his then GF..I was SHOCKED! They had only been dating a year and a half, which seemed super short in comparison to the 3 year relationship I had with him. So now here I am, waiting on my own proposal with my current BF, while he celebrates his 1.5 year WEDDING anniversary...ugh.
My ex has been engaged twice since we broke up! Getting bloody fed up of waiting now.
My X called me recently and told me that he was going to propose to his gf! I was a little sad but I got over............I wish him luck!
We are growing up!
I found out my EX-FI isn't married yet but is engaged and has two children with his new FI. I was shocked but we were engaged when we were 18 and broke up when we were 20, so it has been more than 4 years since we were together and life goes on...
But then, I found out he used one of MY baby names that I had told him about when we were together for one of his children. It was very, very unique so it's not like he just happen to pick that one.
That certainly stung a little bit. C'est la vie, I suppose.
My ex before last and I were together for 6.5 years. A couple of months after we split, he starts dating someone. Four months later she moved in and by the end of the month, they were engaged. The entire time we were together, he never asked and always told people we were never getting married. I guess he was right! LOL A year later they married.
Oh well, good riddance. Now they're each others problem.
My most recent ex...I wish he would find someone. He has so much to offer someone, but he's such a work-a-holic. We're still friends and talk.
Actually, I attended my ex's wedding a few weeks ago! He and I are not friends but he and my fiance used to be, although they haven't been close since high school, so I don't really know why we were invited. My best friend and MOH (his sister-in-law - what a tangled web!) has this theory that he invited me because he thought it would be distressing for me. And yes, he is the type of person who would do that, and who would be self-involved enough to think that I am still into him 5 years later and while happily engaged to someone else. It was awkward but upsetting? Nope. Him breaking up with me was a huge bullet dodged.
@maggiemay: My xh stole the baby name I came up with for a girl. He named his new daughter that same name. Btw, he became a dad 3 mos after we divorced so I was especially sensitive of that.
@iyaness... same here. I was the "rebound" girl, but we'd dated before. And I think we both knew it was meant to be, and just finally got the timing right!
I remember this happened to me, but honestly... I just so didn't care about my ex at that point that it had no effect! Should I have been sadder? I dunno... I'm just so happy that I am happy, and couldn't care less. (To be fair, it ended badly and he was just odd anyways.)
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One of the most amazing people in the world, aside from my BF and a handful of my friends, is my ex. I know you weren't expecting that!
So I get a phone call yesterday, X is getting engaged in June! I am sincerely happy for him, because she seems wonderful and he is genuinely happy. But my reaction? "Wow, that's so SOON!"
And my reaction to my own BF? We're not engaged quick enough! Isn't it funny how you can see the difference? I think "June" is too soon for my ex, but I can't wait for my own engagement.
So I am a little saddened. Life is going on, we're 'growing up'.