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I have the same issue. My ceremony will run from 3:30 - 4:30, and my cocktail hour starts at 6:00 p.m.
My mom decided to pick a bar area at one of the hotels where we have room blocks, then we will include in our welcome note in the gift bags, "Some guests are gathering at ___ in between the ceremony and reception, if you would like to join them."
I know it's not an ideal situation, but it's the best we can do. One of our friends had a similar situation, and my girlfriends (the dates of the wedding party) and I just went to a sports bar and grabbed drinks and appetizers. Not a big deal.
It's understandable that you want to allow for appropriate picture time. Is there any possible way you can extend your cocktail reception by starting it early? I think your guests would think it was very thoughtful of you to be taking good care of them.
If it's cost prohibitive to start the food and booze earlier, even if you just set out big jugs of lemonade, iced tea and water, and some mood music, it would make it look like you were prepared and ready to host your guests.
Another option is to have at least some of the photos before the ceremony. Even if you don't want to have your FI see you in your dress, the photographer can do bridal party photos, you with your parents, him with his parents, you with the BMs... etc. Then you will be left with only the photos in which the two of you are together to take after the ceremony.
I don't know if you have a driving time issue as well, because you have left 90 minutes, which is quite a bit longer than your photographer should need even to take all the bridal party photos. I would check with the photographer on the time they believe is actually required.
I am actually not a big fan of the "delayed reception." There have been a lot of posts about it, and a corresponding number of opinions. FI and I agree that a 90 minute break would tend to find us, for a local wedding, skipping either the ceremony or the reception (unless we were very, very attached to the couple). For a travel event, it would tend to find us either late to the reception (hotel room time) or already under the influence (bar time), or both... The majority of couples manage to get perfectly wonderful photos without ditching their guests for 90 minutes along the way, and with a little more thought you probably can too.
The time gap isn't always about pictures. For us it is just a scheduling coflict between the church and reception site. Church can't start later then 3pm and cocktail hour can't start earlier then 6pm, there is nothing we can do about it!
We are incliding a meeting place, either my parents house or the hotel bar, as well as, local attractions in our program and on our website.
We have a decent amount of what I would consider out of town guest deciding not to stay over. I have found however, in talking to a few of them that once they realized there was a gap they were more interested in getting a hotel room so they would have a place to relax.
I would say plan something even if it is casual for guest and get information regarding the time gap to guest early so they can plan accordingly.
That's not a big gap at all in my opinion. One of my friends had a huge gap (2-3 hours) and that became awkward. We went back to our hotel since we were not familiar with the area and I was worried people would nap and have trouble waking up for the reception. It ended up ok and I know the timing wasn't something she could control but it's something I'm definitely going to try to avoid if I can.
My aunt did a wedding renewal there was a gap..of like 4 hours it was mostly family, but it was terrible!!!!!! We were all starving, cranky, and really annoyed. We all wondered why in the world there would be such a super gap like that?!?! My house is 45mins away so I went back home showered, changed, ate and came back for the reception. I felt bad for everyone else that had to hang out at her house.
I'm having the same issue. Our ceremony is at 2pm and will probably take 30-45 mins, but we want to have a dinner reception. I was thinking of starting cocktail hour at 4 or 4:30.
That's not rude at all, in fact it's the norm. How else are you supposed to get your pictures taken while your dress is still imacculate? If you have a lot of guests coming from out-of-town, ask a friend who's not in the wedding party to "host" a happy hour at a nearby lounge or bar. That'll keep your guests occupied between the ceremony and the reception.
Don't worry about a gap, people have time gaps all the time! I went to a wedding with a 3 hour time gap, we just went to a bar and had some appetizers and drinks! It was fine!
Yeah, most people are aware/expect a time gap. They know you have to take pictures. We're have about a 2 hour time gap too. Since our wedding is a destination wedding, we're going to give everyone a map of the city and ideas of places to visit or do some wine tasting. (It's in Temecula, CA which has a lot of wineries.)
We have a time gap as well, our ceremony is from 1:30 - 2:30 p.m. and our reception is starting at 4:00 p.m.
I was thinking about renting out one of the room's in my church's parish house and offering some sort of a hospitality suite for our guests where they could have tea and coffee and just relax for a bit before the reception.
Our reception is just four blocks away from the ceremony site which isn't too bad of a walk/taxi ride.
@honeybee, I noticed that you're also based in NYC - is either your ceremony or reception site close to a museum?
I don't know if this is something that your guests would be interested in, but it could be fun to arrange a tour for them at the Met or something or if it's in your budget, you could rent one of those double decker tourist buses and give your guests a brief tour of the city.
We are serving appetizers and having a cocktail hour in between the ceremony and the reception. I think most people realize the reception won't start right after the ceremony due to pictures and other such things. I think as long as you have something to entertain them like food and drinks, they'll be ok. We are also setting out pictures and other memories for the guests to look at. Maybe set up a slide show that they can watch while they're waiting for you to begin the reception.
As some of the other Bee's have mentioned, that's not too bad of a gap. We went to a friend's wedding that the ceremony was a noon and the reception at 5 PM. Even then it was fine, a few of us just went and grabbed a snack and drink in between. We have similar gap to yours 3 PM Ceremony, 5:30 PM. Thankfully our reception is at a museum so our guests are welcome to go there and walk around for the hr or so before the reception starts. (That said, I'm sure a bunch will go to the bar too.)
technically everyone has a gap if they do pictures after the ceremony. I think that is a good idea. I know that is something im worried about i don't want to get to the reception after phots and realize half my family has ate and left ;(.
I think it's fine. I've been to weddings with MUCH worse gaps. We ended up getting so hungry we met up with friends and had a late lunch between ceremony and reception! At another wedding the gap was so big, we went and saw a movie!
Our problem is that we will have such a small gap we aren't sure how to word the invitation and if guests will follow it. We are expecting our ceremony to end at 4, assume guests mingle for 15 minutes and then a 30 minute drive to our ceremony site. That puts guests at the cocktail hour at 4:45. We are going to start the cocktail hour at 5. On the invitation rather than saying "reception immediately following" we are going to say "reception at 5 pm". We are concerned that since it is such a small gap that guests may not adhere and they will show up early.
I have to agree with the other posters who said a gap isn't always so bad. At a wedding this past summer, there was a 4 hour gap between the ceremony and the reception, but it was great because we were all able to go back to our hotels and change into nicer clothes for the reception (the ceremony was outside and it was chilly) and get some lunch! It made everything a lot more relaxed.
I'm of the opinion that gaps are fine as long as they're either short enough that no one has to leave/stand around/etc, or long enough that people do have time to leave, do their own thing and not be rushed to get back.
It's fine. This gives the guest time to mingle. They can have nachos, or chips and salsa, or finger foods, or something of that nature while they wait. I'm sure they'll be fine as long as you give them something to munch on or entertain themselves with. I'm having a gap to and I don't feel guilty about it at all.
I have a 1pm wedding (probably about 1 hour long) and our reception isn't until 5pm. We're going to include suggestions for where to go/what to do in our OOT bags, since many of our guests aren't from the area. This was a source of stress for us in the beginning, but we had scheduling conflicts we couldn't get around, so we're just going to make it work!
many people expect a gap but don't take that for granted u don't want to be like the bride whose family took her cupcakes and went to McDonalds... i am going to take as many photos as possible before the wedding, leaving only those with me and the fiance til after the ceremony... also we are having a candy buffet so the guest can fill their favor bags while we take photos... and the dj will be playing music during this time also
Not rude at all. In fact I think it's quite normal - pretty much every wedding I've been to has had this. We always just hit a restaurant or a friends house for drinks and keep the celebration going until it's time for the next venue. If people complain they are being babies.
I agree with many that the smaller the gap, the better... I had thought that pictures would take over an hour, but after talking to my photographer, they should only take 15 minutes! So, I am going to do as many pics prior as possible (without seeing each other beforehand) and then the rest afterwards, leaving only about 30 minutes that are guests are at the cocktail hr without us...
I don't think it is rude. We have a 3:00 ceremony and 5:30 cocktail hour. The ceremony should be about 30-45 minutes and we are not doing a receiving line at the church.
We decided to leave some extra time between them so we have time to take our photos at the church and also at the reception since they are in two different locations (within 10 minutes). We figured with it giving us extra time to take photos our guests can go back to the hotel since it is right around the corner and get the complimentary shuttle from the hotel to the reception and have enough time to do this and it is also giving us the time we want so we can still have about a half hour or so to join in on the cocktail hour and do our "receiving line" there before the introductions and party time! :)
I guess I have to be the odd Bee out and disagree with the majority of posts. I just went to a wedding where there was a gap and the guests were NOT happy. A lot of people decided to leave. The wedding was on a Sunday (which isn't a good idea in my opinion because people have to go to work the next day) and the ceremony started at 7:30 p.m. The ceremony and reception were in the same location. The ceremony took about 15 minutes and then we waited around for almost two hours for the Bride and Groom to come back.
They had a cocktail and food hour which ended in about 30 minutes and then we just sat at the tables waiting for the Bride and Groom. By the time the Bride and Groom arrived most of the food was gone and all of the guests had eaten. We were all sitting at the tables with nothing to do waiting on the Bride and Groom. By the time they arrived it was after 10 p.m. and we were itching to go because we had driven an hour to get there and we both had to go to work the next day.
I understand that the day belongs to the Bride and Groom (I am getting married in March and I'm looking forward to our day as well) but there is something to be said for thinking about the comfort and happiness of your guests. Your guests travel to see you get married, in most cases care about you and give you gifts. The least you can do is make your wedding a fun experience for everyone. The guests came to see you not the bar, not the food/alcohol and not the beautiful location.
I learned from this wedding that I will do a little extra at my wedding to show my guests that I really am glad they decided to share their time and energy with us. I appreciate that.
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We are having our ceremony from 3-4 ish and our reception at 5:30. Is it rude that people will have to entertain themselves for around an hour before the reception? I really wanted to have time in between to take pics and to not miss (or have the bridal party) miss the reception. Any thoughts?