Post # 1
I am going back and forth about having the Garter and Bouquet toss. I am leaning more towards not having it, because my fiance’ and I are not really a “traditional” type couple. Going to weddings as an unmarried female, I always hated going out on the floor in front of everyone and being “singled out” as everyone watches a bunch of women fight over a bundle of flowers. For some reason, it always felt tacky and cheesy to me. However, I know this is a beloved tradition for many brides and guests, just not my personal preference. My fiance’ and I have talked it over, and he is fine with not having the tosses. I, on the other hand, am worried that some of our family members who are more wedding traditionalists will be a little put out that we do not do this. Are there any other brides who have decided to forgo the garter and bouquet toss? If so, was it met with critisism? Did you regret not having it? Do you plan on doing this for your wedding?
Post # 3
Some couples choose to do one or the other, rather than both/neither.
We skipped both, but we skipped a lot of traditions.
Post # 4
Maybe you can add a modern touch, so that way it would be a little more fun?
I’ve heard of brides attaching lotto tickets or little trinkets to them, so that way the winner gets something extra for participating.
Post # 5
We’ll be doing it but more because we have plenty of crazy friends who we’re sure would enjoy the chance to act like idiots, lol.
We are SO doing the garter because of the gown I’m wearing. It’ll be peaking through the whole time due to a slit up to the thigh (I’m VERY untraditional, lol). So, we figure if we do one, might as well do the other. I know that it will be done in a fun sort of way and not as a way to single out all the single people.
There are lots who do it and lots who don’t, it all depends on the couple.
Post # 5
i’ve known since i was 17 years old that on my wedding day, i would definitely NOT do the traditional garter/bouquet toss thing. that year, my best friend’s mom got remarried. it was a smallish wedding and there were few single people there. i caught the bouquet, and the bride’s 12 year old son caught the garter.
and they still made us follow through. *blush*
it was awkward and inappropriate and at that moment i made the decision never, ever to put my friends and loved ones through it. tradition be damned!
that being said, if you love the tradition i think you should do it. if you don’t, i wouldn’t. people rarely seem to notice the things we do or do not do with regard to tradition, if we ourselves don’t call attention to it. at least that’s been my experience. 🙂
Post # 6
@Juliet: Huh… never heard of making the pair who catch the garter and bouquet “follow through”. Every wedding I’ve been to that did this just left it with everyone joking about who caught what. Or they only did the bouquet toss.
Personally, I’d say that was plain out mean and inconsiderate. I doubt that EVERYone does that but I can understand why you wouldn’t want to do it.
For what it’s worth, I don’t think any of our friends ever heard of what @Juliet mentioned. Not saying our friends wouldn’t use it as an excuse (depending on who did the catching, lol).
Post # 7
FI and I will not be doing the garter/boquet toss, I’m not one for tradition and I don’t like being the center of attention. We are having a laid back/country reception anyway so I don’t think anyone will notice if we skip this step.
Post # 8
I really am not into the garter and bouquet toss. Our wedding is going to be overall very traditional but we are not incorporating those traditions into our wedding.
Every wedding I’ve been to, girls roll their eyes at having to get up there and fight for the bouquet and it is especially akward when older single women are forced to participate as well.
Post # 9
Some girls have a blast fighting for the bouquet. I know when I was a kid I did. Beyond a certain age, it sucks to go to weddings and catch grief for being single. Getting shoved onto the floor for the bouquet toss makes it worse.
You could still do some sort of toss, but switch up the symbolism and eliminate the part where your new hubby goes down on you in front of all of your guests so that people could still enjoy the custom without anyone being forced out of their dignity.
Post # 10
I don’t think we will have it, mainly because at almost every wedding I’ve been to where they do it, it’s been awkward. At one, a teenage girl caught the bouquet and the DJ was trying to make the bride have a do-over. Of course, that was more the DJ’s fault, but it still made it an awkward situation.
Post # 11
I voted that i did not have it, but thats no really true.
I dont like the idea of DH climbing up under my dress infront of his 90 yr old grandmother and i didnt like the diea of making my single friends come up and wrestle for my boquet. So we took a silk boquet and a garter, attached lottery tickets to both and then threw those instead…everyone loved it. We got the DJ to announce that anyone who “wants to get lucky” should come up. I now have some great pics of my aunt trying to grab the boquet!! 🙂
Post # 12
We’re not doing either toss. I really just don’t like the traditions. As a single woman at weddings, I always hated being called out to the center of the dance floor to announce that I was unmarried. That is not my idea of fun. Then, god forbid I actually caught the bouquet (which has happened twice), being forced to have some strange dude put a garter on my leg is just the definition of awkward. Besides, 95% of our guests are married so it wouldn’t really make sense anyway.
In lew of the bouquet toss we’ll be doing an anniversary dance. All married couples will be called to the dance floor for a slow dance. A few seconds into the song, the DJ will announce that anyone who has been married for a day or less to sit down (obviously we’ll sit). Then he’ll announce for those who have been married for less than 2, 5, 10, 15, 20, etc… to be seated throughout the song until we’re left with the couple who has been married the longest (who, if my calculations are right, will be my grandparents). That couple will be given my “toss” bouquet as well as a gift certificate to a local restaurant.
Post # 13
@Baileyh: “Getting Lucky” idea is cute. I’m getting married in Vegas. Maybe I can toss a chip on something.
Post # 14
We did both, and I’m glad we did! We have a lot of fun friends who didn’t make it awkward at all. The couple who caught both were great sports, and I’m so excited that they’re even getting married now!
I think it depends on your crowd. If there are a lot of single people who just plain don’t know each other, of course it’s going to be awkward. If all the single people are friends and good sports, it can be a blast – so to each their own!
Post # 15
We skipped them both, but not because they’re tacky or outdated. We just had no interest in doing either–we wanted more time to dance, instead of having to break up the party and have people sit while we did the tosses.