(Closed) Garter Toss

posted 5 years ago in Traditions
Post # 3
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza

@Loveylove13:  You could pull it off yourself and give it to him to toss?  Or slide it down fairly low just before the toss so he’s not all ‘up in your business’ in front of your grandparents.  Lol.

Post # 4
7774 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There’s nothing wrong with doing the bouquet toss only, in fact that’s common where I live.

Alternatively you could do things like you don’t wear the garter, he just takes it out of his suit pocket.

Post # 5
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

It is cheesey BECAUSE in recent time it has become waaaay too sexual… it never was meant to be that “in your face”… it was meant to be at bit of “cheeky fun” and certainly was that way up into some point in the 1980s

Here then I copy & paste a recent reply I did on this topic for another Bee…

So YES it can be done in a far more dignified manner…

== snip ==

Oldtimer here.

I had the Garter Toss at my first Wedding… and to be honest it was a  “cheeky bit of fun”… sort of a *wink* to the fact as a couple we were now  LEGAL to have sex (altho to be perfectly honest back in the era after the sexual  revolution of the 1960s most of us were doing that pre-marriage anyhow)

Back then, the Garter Toss for the most part a tasteful tradition. Some one  brought out a chair, the Bride put her foot up on the seat, hiked up her  skirt… revealed the Garter (to which there were some oooohs and aaaahs) and  then the Groom took it off and tossed it to the Single Men much like she tossed  the Bouquet to the Single Women.

Somewhere… in the timeframe after my 1980 Wedding things got a lot more  sexual.  With the Bride seated on the chair, the Groom up under the folds  of her dress searching out the Garter (innuendo here being Oral Sex) and then  coming out with the Garter in his teeth, before the ceremonial toss.

Ick.  Talk about awkward, embarrassing etc.

— — —


As I described in my first reply (# 38 above) used to be a far more  tasteful undertaking… where a lady put her leg up on a chair, and usually slowly  hiked up her skirts (in such a way as to show JUST THE LEG)… until she got to  where the garter was located.  The garter could be placed wherever the  Bride felt most comfortable… ankle, knee, or further up her thigh.  This  was all done in good fun… and back in the 1980s when I was married the first  time… the back ground music playing was often the “stripper” tune… a song who’s  beat went well with a gal inching the skirt slowly higher and higher… there  were lots of laughs… and THE WOMAN was totally in control of this event.

I believed at the time… (and still do) that this whole bit of “cheeky fun”…  had its roots in the history and empowerment of the woman… in that a woman made  a DECISION on when she was sexual… and WHO she chose to share that sexuality  with (how this ever got all turned around in today’s world… is beyond  me)

The idea of the garter, I also believed harkened back to two distinct  times in history… the Saloon Girls of days of old (ya ok we all know that many  were a lot more than just dance girls)… BUT they were women who often made a  choice to use their sexuality, vs having men act as pimps…

For more info on the History of Saloon Girls in the Yukonsee this article and  the section on Dance Hall Women = http://www.whitepinepictures.com/seeds/ii/14/sidebar.html

The women of the American West and the Canadian Klondike were STRONG  Characters… who were going against the tide of the Victorian era.  They  were independent, and knew that sex sells.  Even if they weren’t having sex  with the men of the Gold Rush… they certainly knew that being “cheeky” and  flashing a bit of leg would go a long way to them making more tips / money.

I see a lot of similarities between the styles of Wedding Dresses and the  gowns worn in the Victorian Era (a time when flashing an ankle by a lady was  considered improper) … and I’ve always believed that the idea of flashing the  garter therefore tied directly back to this era.

PHOTO # 1 – Dance Hall Girls (this is a modern pic… but does convey clearly  the idea I’m presenting).  Women of the Victorian Era pushing the  boundaries.

PHOTO # 2 – How I revealed my garter back in the 1980s (except I had my leg  up on a chair)… and how a Modern Woman today might do the same tastefully

Garters tie in a lot to women’s sexuality… and her control of it IMO.   The 1920s when women wore shorter dresses… and a garter might be glimpsed… or  the 1940s when a woman wore garters to keep up her nylons… these were all  empowering times for women as well… and a turn in women’s sexuality.

Here then a link to an article on how to tastefully reveal one’s Garter at a  Wedding and also a pic and a bit of a story on a time when women knew the power  of flashing “a bit” of leg… http://garterglitz.com/garter-toss/

Where things got more “sexual” to me at least is when somehow the tradition  went from a Woman / Bride standing (and thereby being in control of the  situation) to sitting and having a Man / Groom up skirts.  And yes I see  that element of the Garter Tradition as “tacky”… but unfortunately when one  says Garter Toss… this is the only way that Brides know of this being done

Hope this helps,


Post # 6
6126 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

My Fiance is a huge football fan so I think we might do this as he is very opposed to the normal garter toss. He finds going under my wedding dress to be very tacky.

Post # 7
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

We did the garter toss – but I didn’t wear it. He didn’t go under my dress. I literally handed him the garter and he threw it. There was no other pomp and circumstance. And it worked out just fine. You don’t have to go through the entire tradition.

Post # 8
2685 posts
Sugar bee

@IzzyBear:  I love this idea!  You should totally do it!

Post # 9
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

there will be a garter toss at my wedding. Though I don’t mind if my Fiance uses his hands to look for the garter, he insists on using his teeth, like “everyone” else does. I pick my battles and let him have it. I told him that he was allowed to do it that way on the conditions that he do it fast, and i am allowed to hide my face behind his sombrero (the men are wearing traditional charro outfits, with sombreros included) if i can’t be comfortable during the act, I might as well hide my ridiculously red face during it.

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